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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..500501502503504505506..596Next> |
#304506* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<IceTrAiN> [5:10pm] <+Rob> Thought of the day: "Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"
<IceTrAiN> because politicians usally don't have nice titsComment: #Globalgamers
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#305051* (?/51) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trenzein> When an Omegle chat changes from me getting pounded as I pretend to be a drunken whore to giving advice on how to pick up women - having revealed my real age and gender, mind you, to cheering on a lonely guy with a big dick who THANKS ME for the support...
<Trenzein> My faith in humanity goes back up, if even just a little. |
#305467 (23/135) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< ArtForz> work is failure to efficiently procrastinate. |
#305477 (23/115) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rd8t> i asked her to log in with her account...she asked if she users her own password or do i give her mine |
#305503* (?/57) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Rexisfed entered the room.
Rexisfed: Hey ladies
Rexisfed: Did anybody order a pizza... with extra sausage?
this1neguy: nope
solrac: >ladies
simpsonfreak17: I think it was ChanServ
Rexisfed left the room |
#305825* (?/64) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+YourDaddy> If Japan was Apple then the radiation would have been a feature. |
#305926* (?/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<bwright> I have a class called Cell, I have another class called Grid which has a private member std::vector<std::vector<Cell> > m_cells;
<bwright> However in construction I have Grid(u32 row, u32 col) : m_cells(row, std::vector<Cell>(col, Cell(RandomNumber()))) {}
<bwright> Is that going to do what I think it does?
<callum> If you expect it to disappear up it's own anus, then yes. |
#306040* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Lvtn: I've been getting a disk error every five minutes since last night
Lvtn: So I'd best Ghost this one over before it fails
Lvtn: lul
Johny16: I see
Johny16: well go do that
Lvtn: haha
Lvtn: It's like russian roulette
Lvtn: DO I PLAY PORTAL 2
Lvtn: OR DO I SAVE MY COMPUTER
Lvtn: obviously I played portal |
#306643* (?/57) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<yx> I hate Wikipedia.
<yx> I'm reading about cuts of beef now.
<yx> Why, you ask?
<yx> I have no [bleep]ing idea.
<Cathalain> You just want to get to the meat of the matter. :P
<yx> I'm going to -shank- you if you make another joke like that.
<Cathalain> Oh, you just -cut- me, yx.
<Cathalain> I've just been roasted over the coals. Yes, I have. :/
<Dagorath> Must..resist...
<Cathalain> You know you wanna.
<Dagorath> If I do, I'll just be -butchering- the subject.
<yx> Dag: I speak for us all when I say.. -well done-!
<Cathalain> I thought the joke was of -medium- quality.
<Cathalain> Which is a -rare- thing coming from Dagorath.
<yx> Cath, seriously. Stop -grilling- the poor bastard.
<yx> After all, you're talking to one of Her Majesty's Knights.
<yx> Wait for it...
<yx> Sir Loin.
<Cathalain> I'm not busting his -chops-, yx.
<Dagorath> Let's -steak- to the topic at hand.
<Cathalain> Anything else to add beef-fore we close this topic?
<Dagorath> I was just letting it -stew-.
<Dagorath> Can none -cure- us? :x
<yx> I've tried to, but you keep sneaking up on my -flank- with another pun.
<yx> Quit going -round- on me, and we'll put this one to bed.
<yx> I've been trying to -chuck- it out the window for a few minutes, now.
<yx> But the topic sorta sticks to your -ribs-.
<Cathalain> Everyone's really -ham-ming it up today.
<yx> This was a pretty -prime- topic, you must admit.
<Cathalain> I think it's been driven into the -ground-, though.
<Dagorath> I think it's one that won't be easily -culled- from our memories.
<Cathalain> Definitely -smoked- out.
<yx> We should -steer- clear of these sorts of things, going forward.
<Dagorath> Hey, we're just -chewing the fat-. |
#307365* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Kevin: looking like I might get to move into a pretty boss living arrangement up there too
Josh: You're moving into an exec's office?
Kevin: lol
Kevin: no, coed town house.
Josh: Are they cute?
Kevin: heh, one is, though hopefully things won't go that way, crush on roommate could get very awkward
Josh: Yeah, no dating roommates.
Josh: Just casual hookups and drunken necking when appropriate.
Kevin: you cad
Josh: I do, but only Solidworks.
Kevin: /faceplant
Josh: Sounds like you need to exfoliate.
Josh: I AM UNSTOPPABLE
Kevin: and incorrigable
Josh: Whatever, I use cardboard all the time.
Kevin: ow ow ow |
#307683* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< pipe> My electronics component store changed its website a few years ago
< pipe> *everyone* hated it
< pipe> It's been a common engineering joke since then
< pipe> Yesterday oslt there was some news on their website: "New improved website! You can now use the back button in your browser to navigate back to the previous page!"Comment: web 2.0
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#307688* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Hibby> what went wrong in my life
<Hibby> watching my little pony on my own in teh flat with beer |
#307766* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Zphr> but what about me
<Zphr> who wants to hang out with me?
<Zphr> nobody, that's who!
<Zphr> Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal~
<Tibris_> Zphr: Linkin Park? Seriously?
<Tibris_> Real emo kids listen to that one Papa Raoch song.
<Tibris_> *Roach
<Tibris_> You know. That one that's all CUT MY LIFE INTO PEACHES, THIS IS MY LAST FRUIT TART
<Muddle> Papa Boner
<YuriFox> i thought hardcore faggots listened to afi
<YuriFox> or something
<Tibris> Or Paramore. :B
<Zphr> SUFFOCATION
<Zphr> NO BREATHING
<Zphr> etc etc
<Tibris> DECORATION
<Tibris> DE-SEEDING
<Tibris> DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I CUT MYSELF PEELING
<Zphr> ya
<Zphr> THIS IS MY BEACH RESORT
<Tibris> :D!
<Tibris> SUNBATHING, SEA-SWIMMING
<Tibris> DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I TAN UNEVEN |
#308051 (23/41) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@keen> mm... xml
<Ceseuron> XML? XXXML is more like it...
<@keen> cryengine uses it for most of the item definitions
<Thalagyrt> XXXML?
<Thalagyrt> get real, it's more like <initialism type="abbreviation"><initial position="0" value="X" longvalue="eXtensible"/><initial position="1" value="M" longvalue="Markup"/><initial position="2" value="L" longvalue="Language"/></initialism> |
#308129* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> seatbelts and hard nipples don't mix |
#308209* (?/41) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Mr. Richard: just taught my little brother that he can lie about his age on the internet
Mr. Richard: he is growing up so fastComment: reddit steam chat
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#308964 (23/73) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Silentbobby> !fap
<Silentbobby> whoops
<nawcom> heh what happens with the !fap trigger
<vasego> A kitten dies |
#309014* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I find it somewhat terrible that after taking 8 years of german, plus studying on my own time now that I'm out of school, I still make completely awful jokes that revolve around replacing as many words in a sentence with Ach as possible...
<cjk> It's fine. After spending 25 years here growing up, whenever you do it on skype, I'm never entirely sure if you're speaking gibberish, or just a dialect I'm not familiar at all with.
<cjk> ...which kind of makes me sad at my own language. |
#309108 (23/51) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure |
#310084* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pronto> i like this nifty feature with deskphones
<pronto> when they start making sounds, you just look at it till it stops making sounds |
#310144* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@DrtySOUTH> BTW
<@DrtySOUTH> There's going to be a live documentary this weekend.
<@DrtySOUTH> Apparently a group is going to dig up the cache of E.T. cartridges, live.
<@Taryn> cool.
<@DrtySOUTH> They're portraying this as "unearthing an ancient tomb".
<@Taryn> 1983 is now ancient? O_O
<@YelseyKing> Haw.
<@Nicole> oh I heard about that
<@Nicole> I thought all the cartridges were bulldozed and such
<@DrtySOUTH> Dunno.
<@DrtySOUTH> Apparently not.
<@Nicole> well then
<@Nicole> I hope it ends with them playing the game and then deciding to cover it all up again |
#310293* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<xxxx> so a teacher in utah today got fired for writing about homophones. the head of the school said that it links the school to homosexuality
<xxxx> i dont want to live on this planet anymoreComment: hah
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#310332* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
"Rushnett": That should be a valentine card to be honest. "You're the only person I'd give root to" |
#310654 (23/55) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks. |
#310739 (23/51) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
* Nach0z has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<Glorfindel> noooooooooooooooooooooo. my foooood!!! |
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