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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..392393394395396397398..596Next> |
#307607* (?/59) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<n0b0dy> if zombies ever raid that place, they'd starve looking for brains!Comment: #Asylum Channel on Winchat
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#307643* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Adonis> man my buddy from Atlanta is coming down so he txts me asks me if he wants me to bring any food down and shit
<Adonis> so I txt him back to go to this chinese place to get me some dumplings and stuff
<Adonis> then I txt him oh man you go to try their smoked dick it's awesome
<Adonis> I meant to say smoked duck
<Adonis> I had to txt him like 20 times that was a mistake
<bofh`> hahahahaha
<bofh`> yeah, not gonna talk your way out of that one
<Adonis> yeah now I don't think he's going to bring me back any food |
#307698* (?/51) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CCKeane> Whoa I need to look up how liquids work
<CCKeane> Because I forgot
<Authorman> The don't wear shirts, yell BROTHER a lot and get their arms grafted to awesome gay men.
<CCKeane> ???? |
#307728* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LHoT10820> What would be more detrimental to our freedom; the US becoming a corporate police state, or the US becoming a theocracy?
<shakesoda> Trick question; a theocratic police state ruled by a corporate senate.
<shakesoda> Jesus, Inc. -- Buy your eternal salvation today from JesusInc [dot] govComment: URL is not real, part of punchline.
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#307750* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> i needs a spine
<Moon_Doggy> Little_Death, get me a spine
<Little_Death> Moon_Doggy: incorrect usage, ask for help using 'Little_Death: help get'
<Moon_Doggy> Little_Death, steal me a spine?
<Little_Death> give me a date
<Pinako> o.0
<GameOver> 0.o |
#307839* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kazumi> a friend of mine almost got to see rms once
<Kazumi> i was gonna lend him my mac, to allow him to troll rms
<Kazumi> because there is no greater purpose than trolling rms
<hmmmmm> i was going to bring my laptop for him to sign, so i installed gNewSense in a vm and hope it'd pass off as the real thing if he wanted to inspect my freedom
<yukamichi> >if he wanted to inspect my freedom
<yukamichi> god for some reason all I can think of is those tales of the village elder inspecting new brides hymens
<yukamichi> >Spread your legs hmmmmm, RMS needs to make sure your purity is still intact |
#307864* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
r3loaded: I never understood why phone manufacturers allow US networks this much influence in their phones. It's like your ISP dictating what features your laptop can and cannot have.
HeartBurnKid: @r3loaded: The problem is, in America, about 99% of the phone sales are through the network itself and/or their authorized resellers. OK, that number's pulled from my ass, but it's that astronomical.
AkioMorita: @HeartBurnKid: Agent of R.O.A.C.H.: I've seen your ass...it isn't THAT astronomical.
HeartBurnKid: @Akio Morita: How'd you see my ass?
HeartBurnKid: Never mind, I don't think I want to know. |
#307892* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
--> Webuser_4409 has joined #terraria
<Webuser_4409> whats the weirdest thing you have ever found in terraria
<Luna> the webusers
<Webuser_4409> ok now an ansewer from someone whos not a complete retard
<-- Webuser_4409 has quit (Remote host closed the connection) |
#308048* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[20:02:06] <ShaRose> hahaha
[20:02:16] <ShaRose> I just had a literal monster turd
[20:02:22] <ShaRose> It hurt like fuck
[20:02:26] <ShaRose> and when I had to flush
[20:02:31] <ShaRose> it just went NOPE
[20:02:42] <Sab0t> did you give it a name
[20:02:47] <ShaRose> I managed to plunge it so I could see the fucker peeking out
[20:02:57] <ShaRose> and I tried to pull it out to see wtf the problem was
[20:03:04] <ShaRose> the issue was it was massive and hard as fuck
[20:03:17] <ShaRose> it literally was tougher than the toliet paper roll core
[20:03:39] <ShaRose> it made a 2 millimeter dent before it collapsed
[20:03:47] <ShaRose> so I had to chop it in half somehow
[20:03:53] <lKinx> lolwut
[20:03:53] <ShaRose> and I tried using the plunger
[20:04:04] <ShaRose> it took like 9 chops
[20:04:14] <ShaRose> but it FINALLY chopped in 2
[20:04:16] <geraldbrent> I'm ROFLMAO
[20:04:17] <ShaRose> with the goddamn plunger
[20:04:22] <ShaRose> and I tried to flush
[20:04:23] <lKinx> someone quote this...
[20:04:28] <ShaRose> and I think one half managed to get down
[20:04:36] <ShaRose> and I can't see the other
[20:04:43] <lKinx> QUOTE THIS :P
[20:04:45] <ShaRose> but it has WAY less flushing power
[20:04:47] <Pepper> Sec
[20:04:52] <ShaRose> so I think the monster turd still is alive in there
[20:05:02] <ShaRose> deep in the bowels of my toliet
[20:05:24] <ShaRose> I named him "Monstroso" btw Sab0t
[20:05:31] <ShaRose> fitting name don't you think
[20:05:45] <Sab0t> i usuaully name mine turtleheadComment: Serious modding discussion in #risucraft
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#308079* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%SpaceSquirrels> well you are going to have to take a pic of your ID
<%SpaceSquirrels> and pm it
<+Banzai24> no problem
---
<+Banzai24> i sent the pm space
<@Loskene> I sent the prime minister some space too |
#308105* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* newform8 sets mode: +v Artem
<+Artem> I'm voiced
<%newform8> you deserve it, i'd halfop yu if i could
<king_crimson> the + is just how we mark users for death
<king_crimson> to kill em later so we dont forget
<king_crimson> its not voice
<%newform8> if thats the case this halfop makes me feel im marked for torture before death :/
<king_crimson> if you'll notice, the % kind of looks like a small penis and balls.
<king_crimson> it just means we were going to teabag you after you die. |
#308108* (?/41) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@OmegaBR> >LAPD Plans to Spend $1 Billion on Jet Packs for Officers
<+fart> FUCK YEAH'
<@Spardot> O_O
<+fart> AND LO DID THE HEAVENLY SOLDIERS DESCEND FROM ON HIGH
<+fart> AND BROUGHT FORTH THEIR SCEPTRES
<+fart> AND PROCEEDED TO WHAIL THE CRAP OUT OF EVERYONE |
#308155* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dracion> do i invite religious girl to atheist event
<Dracion> hmm
<Lion> do you like this girl
<Sparrow> dracion: no
<Dracion> lion
<Dracion> lol no
<Lion> do it
<Dracion> She's in category of "Man the harpoons!" |
#308188* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Elizacat> Ludvig: I wrote the WORST thing today
<@Elizacat> for (ptr = environ - 2, argc = 0; *((int *)ptr) != argc; ptr--, argc++);
<@Elizacat> isn't that disgusting
<@Ludvig> Elizacat, what you and I would call bad, C programmers would call 'clever'
<@Ludvig> I mean the K&R type of C programmer
<@Ludvig> not the sane type |
#308189* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<flag> wait gloomp
<flag> did i ever tell you the story of how i met a guy who killed his mother
<gloomp> you did not
<flag> i was at taco cabana at about 4 am
<flag> taco plate, a #2
<flag> best deal on earth
<flag> me and a friend at a four person table
<flag> all of a sudden
<flag> homeless person in a cowboy hat and suspenders, all up in my table
<flag> i'm like what can i do for ya mate
<flag> and he's like
<flag> i just killed my mother
<flag> and i'm like
<flag> hahahaha
<flag> oh no
<flag> he's serious
<flag> (that last bit in a whisper to my friend)
<flag> so then i'm like
<flag> tell me more
<flag> and he's like
<flag> well
<flag> she was annoying me
<flag> (and i'm nodding)
<flag> so i killed her in bastrop
<flag> which is about an hour's drive from where we were currently eating taco plates
<flag> and then he walked here
<flag> but
<flag> but
<flag> here is the crazy part
<flag> he was carrying taco bell
<flag> he had just come to the taco cabana to sleep
<flag> man what
<flag> the fuck
<gloomp> beautiful
<Rose> I assume you got the hell out of there and called the cops.
<gloomp> why would you call the cops
<gloomp> a guy like that is on a whole nother level than boring old cops
<flag> i did not call the cops
<flag> i believe i bought him a taco
<flag> a real one not that taco bell crap
<flag> to be fair i was on drugs and the whole oh hey he is either a murderer, insane or both thing just flew by me
<flag> never occurred to me that i might actually call the police
<flag> until now
<flag> maybe i will call them in the morning
<gloomp> you're a good person flag |
#308229* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(fahadsadah) So many "Free hugs" placards at MCM.
(fahadsadah) No one actually honoured their promises =(
(fahadsadah) Except for the tall creepy guy with "Free hug or I rape you" |
#308247* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@fewyn> i don't even have the beta installed
<@vapid> i, also, uninstalled mists of panderia
<@vapid> beta
<@fewyn> i didn't uninstall it
<@fewyn> my hdd caught fire
<@Zachery> the gods said you should stop playing mmos
<@fewyn> lol |
#308509* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tater> .
<Tater> my cat did that
<Strengths> Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
<Strengths> my cat is more creative than your cat |
#308527* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[19:30] <Senix> you want to know how i'm going to name my kids?
[19:30] <Senix> I'm going to bash my head on a keyboard
[19:30] <Senix> and what ever prints out will be there name.
[19:30] <Senix> c v,fk
[19:30] <Senix> ^perfect |
#308557* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<falconindy> uggh. single threaded builds... i can't fap to this! |
#308725* (?/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(4:44:50 PM) nut: ratemydesktop.org/pm/4IJV/october_desktop.html
(4:45:31 PM) shad0wz: how did you make it?
(4:45:58 PM) nut: start -> run -> cmd
(4:46:04 PM) nut: cd C:\windows\
(4:46:10 PM) nut: del System32 /f
(4:46:12 PM) nut: restart
(4:46:31 PM) shad0: thats it?
(4:46:36 PM) nut: yea
(4:47:41 PM) shad0wz: k brb
(4:47:45 PM) shad0wz left the room (quit: Quit). |
#308765* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Luigi30> they doxxed that reddit admin guy
<Luigi30> the one who ran creepshots and jailbait and admits to having oral sex with his underage stepdaughter
<hitz> i believe thats called a moderator |
#308792* (?/59) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Arke> who is lord british
<Sentorian> WHAT
<cmr> srsly
<Sentorian> Arke: your mother has had the clap so many times it turned into applause |
#308883* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> Welp the elastic on my briefs officially annoyed me. it is now in strips all over the room. Please fly me to england and point me at your two ex friends
<Pryoidain> I would like to see them cope with a naked enraged 47 hour code editing pryoidain who is getting IO errors on a forked pipe
<Pryoidain> There wont be anything left I promise |
#309005* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ente> I could use a mouse where the right button isn't broken...
<phryk> Those things are like 5 bucks^^
* mentalAFK|LoL has joined #imgurians
<mentalAFK|LoL> gooood morning :)
<ente> I ain't paying 5 bucks for something I leave with my parents and use twice a year
<mentalAFK|LoL> what would that be?
* mentalAFK|LoL is now known as mentalAFK|[Ger]
<phryk> Damn, mentalAFK|[Ger]. Stop making me want to say "Your mom!" :D |
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