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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..68697071727374..599Next> |
#50221 (282/416) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Aeli> ...
<Aeli> now you've gotta be kidding me
<Aeli> I'm never using the ef name generator again
<Aeli> thicwang? |
#51619 (358/528) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
eefstr_12: theres no fresh water where I am, we have them delivered
sze_mai: here's what you do
sze_mai: feed a couple of monkeys salt and follow them
sze_mai: you'll find a water source for sure
eefstr_12: one question, where do I get monkeys
sze_mai: dunno, I'm an expert in water, not monkeys. |
#59538 (364/536) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NiKz> Guess what my bf got me last night!
<Omi> Pregnant? |
#67755 (380/560) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Amika> what is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm
<RMD> going down on a girl and seeing she has a penis
<MrMog> the holocaust
<Amika> you guys are no fun |
#28977 (287/421) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<danamania> oh this is lovely - mum went to the vet to pick up sasha, and bought a few things back. I'm looking over this bottle of pet shampoo thinking I'd do kokomo's coat.
<danamania> The back of the fricken bottle says "Not tested on animals" |
#20838 (323/475) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TDO_Crips> IRC is just multiplayer notepad. |
#101511 (1707/2573) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cherokee> In other news:
<Cherokee> An African-American Congresswoman reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal.
<Slayden> What about Slaynisha?
<Cherokee> She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that people on the street can understand because one of the problems in New Orleans is that regular folks didn't understand the seriousness of the situation due to the racially biased language of the weather report.
<Cherokee> I can hear it now... A weatherman on the gulf coast saying...
<Cherokee> Wazzup, mutha-fuckas! Her-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo' ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket!
<Cherokee> Bitch be a category fo' !
<Cherokee> So grab yo' chirren, yo' Hos, be leavin' yo' crib, and head fo' da nearess guv'mint office fo' yo
<Cherokee> FREE shit! |
#111790 (369/543) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<maherarar> I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ONCE IN 1989 AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK. |
#294927 (437/647) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Jones: I had no idea that in the latest patch they added a confirmation box for /gquit
Maero: ahahah
Leggoes has left the guild
kyush has left the guild |
#302911 (33/49) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+psypete> sometimes i want to poop
<+psypete> but then i try to go and i can't
<+psypete> and i feel like i've let myself down
<+ashi> It is natural to become attached to something you carry inside you for an extended period of time.
<+ashi> Feeling it grow ... and move.
<+ashi> Still, you have to let go when the time comes.
<+rowboat> thats some shitty advice |
#304172 (203/297) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<teapot> and i have a fantasy about having 2 men at once: one for cooking, and one for cleaning
<Wolfram> teapot - yes, but what do you do after you've cooked the first man?
<LionMan> clean the other one, of course |
#310123 (53/73) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Sir_herrbatka> what is the best vi mode for emacs?
< wheybags> vim
< wheybags> alias emacs='vim'
< wheybags> (did that on a society server once as an april fools day joke :P)
< wheybags> and alias vim='emacs' too
< wheybags> one guy came on irc
< wheybags> "why is vim taking so fucking long to start up" |
#92899 (7207/11015) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Athnex> they're the people who if they had space ships, would make crop circles on other planets |
#237419 (61/83) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader |
#295055 (278/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< aLExVP> my pal just had the most freaky experience of the week
< aLExVP> we're running a small VPN network around here, normally it is a relatively quiet project
< aLExVP> about an hour or so ago he got a call from someone else on the vpn
< aLExVP> he was asking around because he and other people were being port-scanned over the net, and he was wondering if anyone else knew something about it
< aLExVP> because we normally don't port scan each other over the vpn
< aLExVP> now he was just having a little private lan party with some friends
< aLExVP> (yes he invited me too but i have a test next week and a shitload of work ahead)
< aLExVP> anyway
< aLExVP> looking around a bit they traced it to his vpn connection
< aLExVP> and after looking around a bit more they found out the scans were coming from one of the windows systems at the party
< aLExVP> the system was a mess. no anti-virus on a budget gamer pc
< aLExVP> he has a router providing VPN access to his home net
< aLExVP> they traced the source of the attack on the windows box to an IRC bot net, and from there back again to his own connection
< aLExVP> further on to his wireless router
< aLExVP> and, interrestingly, to the car in front of his house |
#301129 (321/473) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jake> I had an awesome moment in my college
<Jake> We had a video project due, and this group of wanna-be programmers were saying how theirs was so awesome
<Jake> While they weren't looking, I yelled "WE SUCK PENIS" and added it into the slide show after one of the people said "What do we do?"
<Dan> LOL
<Jake>They must have caught me
<Jake>When the day came, while waiting for the part
<Jake>One of the guy asks "Jake, what does your family do every Wednesday night?"
<Jake>In my voice, it yelled "WE SUCK PENIS"
<Jake>I should've been mad... but I was far too astounded to be mad.. |
#301350 (325/479) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tenoch_> eek an underscore
-!- Tenoch_ is now known as Tenoch
-!- subrime is now known as _
<_> Im free!Comment: #loveclub@irc.freenode.net
|
#302583 (120/172) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Xaviors_Mommy> okay trying to get used to being a new mom
<+loopy> oh congrats Xaviors_Mommy
<+Xaviors_Mommy> thanks
<+Xaviors_Mommy> hes 3 weeks yesterday
<+loopy> is yours a boy or a girl
<+Xaviors_Mommy> boy
<+loopy> wuts his name
<+Xaviors_Mommy> xavior
<+lost> **sigh**
* loopy facepalm
<+lost> lol |
#307633 (153/221) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Aberrant> I found out why my brother dropped off the face of the internet
<Aberrant> he rage quit TF2 by taking a pair of scissors to all the cables in his PC
<Aberrant> then to the motherboard |
#308860 (166/240) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<judges119> Has anybody tried to eat the ingredients of a cake on the assumption the ingredients will be
<judges119> like the final product?
<mamacx> omg no
<maximumoffence> ...yes.
<maximumoffence> I was a stupid child |
#310603 (33/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< The-Compiler> I really wonder how the new firmware will look with the monochrome screens
<@Katharine> Monochrome. |
#39062 (201/293) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Plob> You were anti-social way before the computer.
<Plob> The computer just attracted you because it requires no social skills.
<semen> the computer just allowed to you communicate without moving.
<Plob> No no, I move.
<Plob> I have a chair with wheels, biatch. |
#40668 (254/372) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<iSharQ> Apparently, my friend texted "I want to kick your shaven puppy" to his girlfriend.
<iSharQ> The wonders of T9 predictive text. |
#56852 (338/498) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Ducky: So here I am, on Google earth, spying on my ex, when she calls.
Ducky: and I’m all freaking out, because I’m thinking that she knows I’m spying on her.
Leila: Dude, you know that Google earth isn’t live right?
Ducky: Shit. Now she thinks I’m stupid and an asshole!
Leila: You TOLD her that you were spying on her?
Ducky: Um… yeah.
Leila: wow, you are stupid. |
#72748 (399/591) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<insaneidiot> so i have to write a paper for english about why Launcelot likes to run around killing people
<MC> He was beat as a child
<Tar> it's because he yearns desperately for approval
<HunterX11> its the name
<HunterX11> if you name a girl candi, she'll be a stripper
<HunterX11> if you name a boy jeeves, he'll be a butler
<HunterX11> if you name a guy launcelot, he's gonna fucking lance peopleComment: irc.bungie.org #hbo
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