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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..42434445464748..599Next> |
#310758 (27/33) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BadSpoon> I keep thinking... if I were the guy who actually used all the lifehacks he found online, I'd be the most annoying guy in the world |
#295561 (411/561) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(SatanicSniper): I'm home alone till about 4 tomorrow, so, my mates coming over with some chicks
(SatanicSniper): We're gunna have sex
(SatanicSniper): And the girls are gunna watch TV
(SatanicSniper): I mean... Nevermind |
#295523 (425/581) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rocks_the_Keys> noooooooo red ring of death on my xbox
<Rocks_the_Keys> anyone know how to play .avi movies on a wii?
<Keevan> put a laptop on top of the wii |
#113480 (422/576) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<emma> I have a job where I interact with humans a lot. It's one of the things about IRC I like. It's a great escape from the fake daily rituals.
<emma> It's like curling up with a cozy book that talks back to you.
<HiLander> a book with terrible spelling and grammar |
#299415 (224/302) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< toi> I could be trying harder
< toi> should probably update my resume, too
< toi> if anyone calls, I painted a fence for you in '03 |
#305852 (207/279) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Erik> I feel like I've found the holy grail of feline ownership, or something.
<Erik> My cat actually knows the correct course of action to take when I say ``shut the fuck up''. |
#305367 (219/295) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<samurai_> whoa
<samurai_> this must be the internet equivalent of blacking out and waking up the next day to find you don't remember a thing
<samurai_> seems i had an account for a porn site i hadn't used in 30 weeks
<samurai_> from where apparently i'd downloaded over 20 gigs of videos
<samurai_> none of which i have anymore or recall seeing
<samurai_> well they wished me happy birthday today and that's how i knew it even existed
<samurai_> i feel like an undercover agent who was brainwashed and given a new identity
<dd7> as a pervert?
<samurai_> yes
<samurai_> yes indeed |
#32991 (411/561) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(JMulder): Hey bitch
(fleet): Hey JMulder
(fleet): ...
(fleet): why the hell did I just respond to bitch?
(BigRo): ...habit? |
#30462 (356/484) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle |
#29318 (354/482) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Odat> I remember that time I told the hair chick to cut about an inch off the back
<Odat> but what she heard was "cut all my hair as short as you possibly can"
<Odat> bad acoustics, I guess
<NakedKitty> wow.... yeah... that seems to happen a lot
<NakedKitty> or... her inch was a lot bigger than yours
<Odat> impossible
<Odat> men have the largest notion of an inch |
#28747 (411/561) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<xcp> I left a windows xp cd on the seat of my car, someone broke in and left 2 more. |
#25391 (429/587) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip? |
#22160 (328/446) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> wow
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit isnt working today
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> weird
* [AK]DarkTeletubbie has quit IRC ([AK]DarkTeletubbie)
* aCs|shutdown has quit IRC
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> i guess they dont know the secrets of the Ctrl button |
#19725 (377/514) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<spritegoddess> I poked myself in the eye
<spritegoddess> while feeding myself cheetos.
<spritegoddess> I suck at life. |
#26268 (455/623) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right |
#16527 (333/454) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CraNKGod> YOU KNOW WHAT'LL BE NEAT ABOUT LIVING ON MY OWN
<Funk> Being able to run up and down the hallway naked but for a sock on your erect penis?
<CraNKGod> BEING ABLE TO DRINK STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MILK JUG
<Funk> Oh.
<Funk> Man, you need a better imagination. |
#85791 (421/577) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89. |
#296934 (115/155) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> Is that that Basshunter song?
<Slime_Master> Yeah
<Indogutsu> ...only in Sweden can a dance rap song about IRC hit #1 on the charts. |
#310347 (43/57) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rozzie-mob> Ohok
<Rozzie-mob> Apparently when I was younger I ate the dogs worming tablets
<Rozzie-mob> But it was okay because I took the correct dosage |
#299616 (366/500) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xplicitbruno: can someone tell me whats wrong with this : $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"
Mango: Missing semicolon.
xplicitbruno: Mango can u tell me where exactly or just correct the line i typed above ( i am new at this so dont know much yet )
Mango: At the end of the line.
xplicitbruno: like this
xplicitbruno: $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"]
Mango: Oh, wow. I don't know what to say to that one
Mango: I was going to give you the link to a page of PHP tips for newbies but I think you may need more help than I can offer. |
#294912 (516/712) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<root> I think my mouth just had an orgasm
<Shayne> Did you swallow?
<root> ... |
#150316 (538/740) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jackal>: So I went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, he went inside and came out with a sandwich bag...... note to self new best friend. |
#305435 (176/236) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<chuzz> whats the thing you put in /etc/make.conf to make make make concurrently? |
#58208 (374/512) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Corwinoid> BTW Brain, no I haven't
<WifiBrain> no you havent what?
<Corwinoid> I'm replying to the last thing you said to me
<Corwinoid> a week or so ago
<WifiBrain> i dont remember it
<Corwinoid> That I'd lost my title as the master of delayed response :P |
#50745 (386/528) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Philwelch> In my high school, I would print out the "this page is blocked" page that comes up when you run afoul of the content filter on the library computers, and post it next to the anti-censorship posters in the library.
<Philwelch> Long story made short, the library ultimately took down the anti-censorship posters. |
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