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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..221222223224225226227..599Next> |
#34698 (180/364) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[dandyd]: gah... STUPID PEOPLE!!!
[dandyd]: i set my msn status to on phone, and 4 ppl start up convos asking who im tlking to
[dandyd]: the whole point is so they dont hassle me when im on the phone ffs
[fc9k]: did you tell them you were having phonesex?Comment: #tekheads (Quakenet)
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#35344 (223/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> we should spread the myth that having sex with someone who writes in altcaps makes your penis drop offComment: #geekissues
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#35649 (204/416) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MajikMan> anyone who knows html fair well feeling bored enough to help me get a site I'm working on for class functioning?
<damaged> use <plaintext> after <html> to display all bad code seperate from the html rendered webpage
<MajikMan> that just shows all the code...
<damaged> sounds like you have alot of work ahead of you
<MajikMan> :-/Comment: Damn the luck.
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#36475 (170/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SocialMadClown> and your a wife-beater
<Mayseth> I don't even have a wife
<Mayseth> How can I possibly beat something I don't have. That'd be like you trying to masturbate or something. |
#37274 (130/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Feer|work> I need to have my house reinsulted
<Cowboy> your house SUCKS
<Cowboy> your house is the WORST HOUSE EVER
<Feer|work> yeh it needs some insulation
<Cowboy> oh i thought you said insulted
<Feer|work> i have a new AC unit
<Feer|work> lol
<Feer|work> i did
<Feer|work> insulated
<Feer|work> i meant
<Cowboy> well ur house still SUCKS
<Feer|work> it sucks in the hot air from outsideComment: #CkB irc.gamesurge.net
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#42770 (144/290) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[GNU]Order> Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright till you hear them speak |
#43242 (108/214) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
pthree : someone @ lucas films is looking at my site
pthree : now they're looking @ webcam
pthree : i put note up for them to email me
helf : heh
Austin : Hold up a cardboard sign reading "HIRE ME" |
#44411 (141/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
scanty@SPARC: i had a hard time finding a mother's day card.
scanty@SPARC: since they don't make any for dysfunctional families.
helf: lol
aGNUstic: heh
scanty@SPARC: I find the perfect card.
scanty@SPARC: then open it.
scanty@SPARC: and it says some sh*t like "I love you* |
#48754 (214/438) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<treb> what do you do to a command to make it run in the background?
<@Celestina> scare it?Comment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
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#49669 (169/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Konrad is now known as Konbed
* goatrope is now known as goatsleep
* eskay is now known as eskay|zz
<eskay|zz> anyone who makes a threesome comment gets shot
<Konbed> this will not go well for us on the out of context theatre |
#50466 (148/298) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shifter> fucking stupid bitch cunt whore skank peice of shit driver
<Shifter> some stupid bitch somes down my street, not realizing its a dead end
<Shifter> shes driving a fucking ford earth destroyer 2007
<Shifter> she goes to make a 3 point turn, realizes she cant without going over the curb
<Shifter> she just decides to drive up on my fucking yard and tear up my fucking grass
<Shifter> when she saw me on the front porch smoking a cig, she gave me one of those bitchy shrugs, and drove off.
<Shifter> god damnit i hate people. |
#53475 (164/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<veeeeee> so Brittanys gynecologist was giving Brittany a pap smear and the gyne is like, "I have a son who is 26, and hes really into artists...would you mind if I gave you his number?"
<jessecrouch> hahahhhHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
<ecks> veeeeee: wow, how inappropriate and creepy.
<ecks> goddamn
<veeeeee> yeah. Id feel pretty confident with my vagina though after that. Like a gynecologist wanted my vagina to be her vagina-in-law |
#59739 (220/450) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Camper Man: There must have been a power outage
Camper Man: No ones online
Benbread: No, you're just unpopular |
#87102 (236/484) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pallet> oh my god
<pallet> my daughter has been missing for a whole week now
<pallet> i'm so scared, i don't know what to do
<zene> my daughter isn't missing
<zene> that makes me a better parent right?
<zealo> i'm pretty sure it does |
#220691 (231/473) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Aga: I just binned a condom
Aga: it had ran past its expiry date
Aga: ...somehow I make sure to always have one around in case somebody else might be in dire need of one |
#235969 (97/193) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< topgun17> ion: reop me
< topgun17> or else
-!- mode/#sdf [+o topgun17] by ion
< jakethom> or else what
<@topgun17> I never come back again
-!- mode/#sdf [-o topgun17] by ion |
#296125 (138/280) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-!- soj|atchurch is now known as sickofjesus |
#297328 (130/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Zous: so the other day on my way to work, I walked by a couple people who were taking a smoke break outside of the building
Zous: as I was walking by I heard one say "You know, I hear Splenda's supposed to be really bad for you" |
#300509 (143/287) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@JeremySm> firecrackers?
<Hark> cracker | peanut butter | weed | peanut butter | cracker
<Hark> tinfoil, bake in the oven
<Hark> fats in the peanut butter absorb the thc
<@JeremySm> lol
<@JeremySm> this is why Canada is not a world power |
#301829 (248/510) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< shortcircuit> So here's a fun joke to play on your Star Trek loving friends. Ask them what the name of Star Trek V was, but don't let them look it up online.
< shortcircuit> Most people I've asked get it wrong; they give the name for Star Trek VI instead.
< SilentAgony> attack of the clones
< Mattijle> empire strikes back? |
#304398 (110/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
seand: _^_ what are your computer specs
_^_: kinda good
_^_: i guess
seand: i wanted numbers, but okayComment: #projects@irc.strictfp.com
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#305505 (40/72) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Now talking on #shakesoda
<Karai> I need to stop having very sexual dreams about my sister.
<LHoT10820> ...
<LHoT10820> What an awesome thing to walk in on.
<LHoT10820> Tell me more, Karai.
<Karai> rofl
<Karai> I had a dream last night
<Karai> that I found a new way to make music
<Karai> by using a glass soda bottle stuffed in her whowho to control airflow or some shit
<Karai> it was WEIRD AS FUCK
<Karai> I seriously woke up with the :| faceComment: #shakesoda on Freenode
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#306775 (39/71) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize |
#306951 (37/71) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<narwhal> foolproof way to get a woman's bra off in under 10 seconds: set said bra on fire |
#310042 (41/75) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JoeCreates> I've a question about memory pooling
<icetooth> add that chemical that turns leaked memory blue so you can track down the source |
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