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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..184185186187188189190..599Next> |
#35089 (238/454) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rykan> ah man, chocolate is evil...
<CrazyEruntje> 1 ounce of chocolate
<CrazyEruntje> equals one pound of body fat :P
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> so wait...
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> i can turn my body fat into chocolate?
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> omg!!!
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> I be rich yo!Comment: #MxO on irc.stratics
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#36703 (147/273) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(RIddles) hahahaha
(RIddles) my brother just logged onto msn and his nickname had been changed to "Omg i am so stupid, i forget to logg out in inetcafe and put my email at autologin" |
#43267 (157/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mindspillage> I once lost a book of Tolkien songs set to music from my H.S. library. (ANd I thought the musical settings sucked, too.) SO I paid the value of the book to the library. Several months later I found it -- shortly after LoTR came out -- and made five times what I paid selling it on eBay.
<mindspillage> I swear, I am not a bad person, and I didn't plan that.Comment: #wikipedia
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#45328 (230/438) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<qviri> Sorry, I guess I'm not 1335 enough. |
#45563 (191/359) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheHeadlinesRead> hey guys who wants 2 cyber???
<FacadeofTime> Why do you want to cyber?
<FacadeofTime> Do you have a low self worth?
<FacadeofTime> Why cant you meet someone nice in real life?
<FacadeofTime> Do you think you're ugly?
<Vide0GameFreak64> No, everyone else does. |
#48194 (186/350) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Eviscero> so i made a new girlfriend.
<+eggburt> but then she melted? |
#50471 (164/306) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
so far gone fia: i fell asleep today in class
so far gone fia: it was so nice
scythen32: they don't kill you for that sort of thing at your school?
so far gone fia: well, we were watching a movie
so far gone fia: on buddhism
so far gone fia: i was "meditating" |
#50599 (147/273) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rev> I dunno, now I have an extra hour, kinda. I mean, it'll FEEL like I do.
<Rev> But only for today.
<Rev> So I have to use it wisely.
<Nick> porn.
<Rev> Right.
<Inferno> Agreed.
<Rev> An extra hour of porn.Comment: Daylight savings time
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#51899 (193/363) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* WC` has to get really good at GT4 by monday
<ScrubEXE> Whys that
<rsltne> HE HAS BEEN CHALLENGED BY THE GODS.
<WC`> fastest lap time in the university = next term's tuition paid
<Tinsle> o_o |
#52089 (204/384) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Epesh> danielle's rack isn't huge but she's well-formed, like an XML document with proper namespacing and closures |
#60446 (266/506) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Celestar> I can't believe this
<Celestar> I'm sitting in front of my screen with a magnifying class an count pixels
<Prof_Frink> 1020..1021..1022..1023! The bastards! |
#66375 (204/384) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jodie>: But dident you say Sydney was hot?
<Adam>: Yeah, doesent mean i would sleep with her
<Adam>: ...
<Adam>: Actually, it does, but it doesent mean i WANT to sleep with her |
#69904 (185/347) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<randi> did you kill this perl coder?
<sbahra> randi, I've gotten into many arguments with him. :-)
<sbahra> He's far too much of a celebrity in this scene to really "win". He did write *a lot* of code. :-)
<sbahra> Not necessarily good code, but a lot of code.
<randi> you know, sucking a lot of dick doesn't make you a porn star. it just makes you a slut. |
#15183 (211/397) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe". i didn't get the job. |
#15567 (166/310) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Bezoar of all the liver disorders one could get, hep A is pretty good. you get it, you feel like shit for a little while, it goes away, and you're immune for life.
eval sounds like religion |
#16371 (172/322) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Quits: SkAtEcHiC (Life is the most precious thing u can loose)
<Stuff> the other day I lost 5 bucks, so I'll have to disagree |
#18376 (151/280) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Protocol stabs Scythe in the knee with a rusty bent screwdriver *crunch"
* Scythe takes off the kneepads....heh didnt plan on that huh bitch?
<jitspoe> I won't ask why you were wearing kneepads to begin with... |
#19145 (188/353) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kinto> That totally sucked.
<Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
<Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
<Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL COOL J.
* Kinto starts rapping.
<Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
<Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants. |
#24020 (214/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Soulcleaver> In last week's episode, Jack fought Aku again and won in about 20 seconds, literally. That was just annoying.
<Soulcleaver> In an anime, it would take at least five minutes. (No DBZ jokes plzkthx)
<Kamui> Must... resist... making a DBZ joke...
<Kamui> Urrrrrrgh... Arrrrrgh... The urge... is too strong...
<Kamui> <Announcer> Tune in to the next episode, when Kamui fights the urge to make a DBZ joke! |
#25610 (229/433) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG? |
#26371 (249/473) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
fallouswk > bwahahahaha. coworker comes in with a problem, gets halfway into the explanation and then pauses and says "umm, it smells like you've been farting in here" "yes, I have" "I'm going to leave now" "I think that would be best" |
#29241 (192/364) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jjfate> does forking come after spooning?
<Swoozy> No, forking comes before spooning
<Swoozy> You don't have energy to do anything but spoon after fork
<Odat> if you want to fork more than once you quickly learn how neccesary spoons are
<Odat> if you go too long forking without spooning, the woman is liable to work a knife on you |
#31248 (272/516) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids. |
#32456 (246/470) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+BaD-CoMpAnY> The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette.
<@Seraph> Then someone tell this cigarette to shut up. |
#32747 (231/437) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<n3wt> Anyone have any scissors?
<n3wt> Oh, you're all on the internet aren't you, nmComment: #awars-bench
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