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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..139140141142143144145..599Next> |
#2451 (226/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<toot> Y2K isn't untill 2048
<toot> 1K = 1024 |
#2516 (177/309) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rewben> we are not perverts ;p
<akiron> speak for youself ;) |
#4613 (232/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SoulBain> I think my keyboard's unplugged. |
#4705 (186/325) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Hiretsukan has left #verge
*** Hiretsukan has joined #verge
<andy> do the first half of that trick again. |
#6538 (220/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
<BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend |
#7153 (236/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bumr> maybe he makes mad love to the penguin
<dys> Perhaps Cathy wears a Tux the Penguin suit for him.
<dys> And then he "debugs her code" all night long.
<bumr> cunnilinux |
#7156 (163/283) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<vas> my dad recons i dont look up porn
<vas> cuase i tell him it would come up on the bill if i do so |
#7958 (211/370) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving a handjob to Einstein." |
#9117 (240/423) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mikado`> 128's were down to 70 1.5 months ago
<JohnnyBra> 1.5 months???
<JohnnyBra> when the hell did we start talking in decimals!
<mankindJB> 2.3 minutes ago |
#33820 (221/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Brynneh|w3rk> im doing my girlfriend all weekend
<Brynneh|w3rk> lol whoops
<Penfold> doesnt stop
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff with
<Cavey> I shall mention that quote to her when I next se her
<Brynneh|w3rk> that was the mother of all typos |
#35083 (301/533) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<minion> what should i get for lunch
<minion> i have $4
<keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker |
#36288 (114/198) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tammy> why do guys always try to act so macho all the time
<vercetti> because we're rugged!
<vercetti> now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sort my wash and wear from my delicates :D |
#37606 (158/274) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<iSsuEs> god.. fucking email spammers
<iSsuEs> i block html images
<iSsuEs> they send ascii art |
#41215 (177/309) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<simon-say> asking for relationship advice on irc is like asking for computer help at mcdonalds |
#43237 (197/345) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(+jome) Downloading music hurts the music industry, then downloading porn hurts the porn industry, right.. so I download porn for ethical reasons. |
#49714 (292/518) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<numist> no wonder you're being so nice.. I forgot that you're sick
<spb> ha
* numist gives spb some tea
<numist> its a tea kind of day
<spb> awww
<spb> christel refuses to make tea :(
<numist> she does? :o
<numist> why?
<spb> because she sucks
<numist> well thats not such a bad tradeoff |
#52306 (234/412) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sef> We were cleaning out my friend's storage space today because his parents paid us 25 bucks each. :o
<Sef> And we found some interesting things.
<rstlne> oh?
<Sef> A vibrator. Some weird gloves. And a book. "The New Joy of Sex"
<Sef> We stuck the vibrator in the dishwasher that was there.
<Sef> Then we went back to his house and found out his parents are going to give the dishwasher to his grandmother.
<Sef> So..
<Sef> Either way, someone's going to open up the dishwasher and get a surprise.
<Sef> Big orange floppy penis. |
#52628 (170/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
blazewing: DUDE WHERE IS HE
amier (dead): right there mofo
blazewing: IM OUTTA BULLETS QUICK HOW DO I RELOAD
blazewing: HOW BITCHES TELL ME
amier (dead): F5!
blazewing: ITS NOT RELOADING
kayanami: LOL
blazewing: THANKS MOTHERFUCKER I'M DEAD YOU BUNCH OF FAGGOTS ARE THE WORST TEAMMATES EVER
amier (dead): Oh, you were talking about the game? I thought you meant firefox |
#52944 (182/318) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Charlie> Lets play a game
<Charlie> you put an ^ and say what you think about the person above you then put a v for who you think the next person will be
<jakle> how do you get a down arrow?
<Genga> ... |
#53023 (165/287) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[JRJohn] here's a bit of info about me: i went on steroids when I was in gradeschool so I wouldn't stop breathing and die, same time I grew a couple feet.
[WeirdAl] john: I've always had two feet |
#53711 (268/474) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway. |
#54568 (275/487) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jkl> "This pornography-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it."
<jkl> That's the worst pickup line ever. |
#54623 (258/456) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<maverick> I hate you leo, go fuck yourself.
<leo> Dont tell me what the fuck to do
<leo> Your not my fucking mom
<maverick> uhh, yeah i am..
<leo> ??????
<maverick> oh, i thought you said "your not fucking my mom".. |
#56717 (214/376) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mMkay> tried giving myself a tattoo once. a safety pin and an ink tube from a pen. i poked little dots of ink into my skin, one dot at a time. oh i thought it'd turn out cool
<mMkay> last night my girlfriend and i were watching tv and i had my legs on her lap and she started drawing on it. "what are you doing?" i ask her
<mMkay> "playing connect the dots."
<mMkay> :( |
#77336 (341/607) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zap> What's worse iggy?
<iggy> what?
<zap> Giving your boss the system documentation, all 800 pages of swedish-chef York-desh-born Bork Bork Bork and visio diagrams of many chefs interconnected with kitchen utilities and wiring with various details
<zap> (ie, IP: BORK.BORK.BORK.BORK, System Name: Borka_de_Borka!)
<zap> or finding out that, with the help of the manual, he restored approximately /40GB/ of data spanning 3 DLT tapes (in a very unfriendly autoloader), to the proper locations, with the proper permissions, having never done this before?
<iggy> wtf
<zap> Thats what I thought.
<zap> Even more interestingly, he hasn't commented on the booklet or asked me about it. He did, however, let a bork slip as he was leaving for lunch today after asking some dumb questions about licensing.
<iggy> ... |
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