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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..129130131132133134135..599Next> |
#60133 (232/400) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it is :( |
#61302 (286/496) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Delphy> heh, a man died of dehydration when he became stuck between two water tanks |
#74606 (322/560) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ecks> I'm so virgin, there isnt even a word to describe how much sex I have not had. |
#35067 (272/472) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Josh> I swear somebody needs to write a virus that does nothing malicious except replace every attachment you recieve with hello.jpg.
<Josh> It would thus rapidly condition every Windows user to never, ever again open an attachement. |
#35726 (269/467) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AaD-Marine> YAY
<AaD-Marine> its the 1 year anniversery of my BIOS
<AaD-Marine> it just became 1 year old
<AaD-Marine> happy birth day to you MV85010A.86A.0069.P25
<AaD-Marine> HAPPPY BIRTHDAY |
#42614 (147/249) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Drag[Slumber]> Ok, what the fuck
<Drag[Slumber]> Just now, RIGHT NOW, someone JUST shot out the windows on all of our cars
<Drag[Slumber]> On my car, it's just the back window, and nothing else
<Drag[Slumber]> But they went easy on it, compared to everyone else's car
<YoshiDude> QUICK INFORM EVERYONE ON IRC |
#44622 (231/399) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<toadclipper> u on mac?
<Sliquid> it's next to the y
<Sliquid> same as windows keyboards.Comment: aolspeak
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#47147 (225/389) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Capra Sesso Uomo: "President Maaouya Ould Sid'Ahmed Taya of Mauritania is overthrown in a military coup while attending the funeral of King Fahd in Saudi Arabia."
Capra Sesso Uomo: Haha, gotta love these countries. You leave them for a minute, and BAM...
Capra Sesso Uomo: I wish we could do that...
Capra Sesso Uomo: "I need to see Bush." "Bush isn't here right now." "Well...I'm president now." "Hmm...okay. I didn't really like him, anyway." |
#49653 (245/427) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lsf> so we got a package from an online shop, we ordered some things
<lsf> and with the passage we also get an Ipod Nano
<lsf> and my mom goes like, they made a mistake and will soon come to our door again to request it back
<lsf> so the stupid bitch calls them and reports the mistake
<lsf> and the guy that answers says like,"damn lady youre stupid you could just keep the stuff"
<lsf> and i cried |
#50462 (190/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tyger> I freaking love this time of year.
<Tyger> It's the only time you can bury a corpse in your front yard and nobody comments.Comment: October 27, #egs
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#52452 (183/313) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, you're information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott has quit (Quit: )
<Ricky> :O
<Ricky> God damn, that was a good one.
<moo> lol
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has joined #g-masters
<Scott> !
<Scott> !list
<Ricky> Scott Biao, your information is being sent to the metropolitan Detroit EFF and CIA. Please remain connected while a trace ensues.
* Scott (~Scott@IMPERIUM-B1D5FEBA.dhcp.monr.mi.charter.com) has left #g-masters
<moo> o_O
<Ricky> Hahahah
<moo> do you know him?
<Ricky> Nope.Comment: Paranoia is fun!
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#53824 (299/521) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< withnail> thats another thing, in video games you always have to shoot bosses in the head or the one giant eye or something. i know this wouldn't work in transformers, but just once i'd like to see a game where the commander radios in the information for you to fight the giant monster and it comes through " well sir we've studied him deeply and it would appear his weak spot is right in his testicles, so shoot there repeatedly"
< withnail> i mean just once |
#53872 (299/521) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<snarffles> Jesus I am so damn tired
<snarffles> I could literally fall asleep right here...
<snarffles> werrrrrrrwre34334""%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
<mellomeh> wow, you have fallen asleep in a comic fashion on your keyboard and managed to press enter despite your 'head' hitting keys nowhere near it
<mellomeh> you've also managed to hold shift near the end of that |
#59310 (240/416) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@mr_white> t0ks roll teh !dice, if you get 1-5 you get kicked
<t0ks> if i get 6 i stay?
<@mr_white> no for 6 you get another turn |
#65516 (295/513) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<snoozedell> what's your favorite planet
<alman> pluto
<alman> oh wait |
#67344 (174/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<netcrusher88> Sloloem says he found one of the old-style TTY things sitting around
<netcrusher88> the ones that look like old modems
<netcrusher88> he says once in a while they turn it on and scream into it to make it show random characters |
#67367 (171/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> 14.10. The BLACKHOLE Storage Engine
<@Rjx> The BLACKHOLE storage engine acts as a "black hole" that accepts data but throws it away and does not store it. Retrievals always return an empty result:
<@Rjx> this is the best mysql feature yet |
#69532 (259/449) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<clifgriffin> Women idolize a level of beauty only achievable through Photoshop. |
#223678 (209/359) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> 'Sup CMK
<@CMK> ^ That direction.
<@CMK> <_<
<CtrlAltDestroy> Not if I turn my monitor
<CtrlAltDestroy> LIKE THIS!!! |
#295087 (192/330) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
%rok3n> explain the 90s in one sentence.
@solaroperator> dildo: not just for women anymore |
#295136 (224/386) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dshs> what's the absolute best question?
<fydo> you just asked it. it's recursive. |
#295957 (302/526) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< dexter-> how'd it go?
< tamr> it was the easiest I've had so far. No big deal
< tamr> A+++, would give birth again |
#301602 (226/390) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Kagami> OH FUCK STAR TREK ONLINE
<@Kagami> And it's an MMO
<@Kagami> I can't wait to roll Ensign and die in the engine room |
#303566 (334/584) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
lollz> And what did babys drink before people discovered cows?
Aeon> they drank there moms milk
lollz> Yeh but where did they get the milk
Aeon> omg
CoJaBo> ...
CoJaBo> !wp breast feeding
AmiBot> Breastfeeding is the feeding of an infant or young child with milk from a woman's breasts.
lollz> wtf milk comes from boobs?
CoJaBo> LOL
Aeon> wow u srsly didnt kno that?
lollz> EWW! MILk comes from cow boobs!Comment: Milk Day, 2008
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#303685 (136/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@esch> I'm going to go as a philosophical zombie for halloween this year
<@p_g_p> MIIIIIIINDS |
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