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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..142143144145146147148..596Next> |
#104883 (210/276) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ashrael> My MP3 of MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This' has been locked out by the RIAA Piracy Blocker Thing.
<Ashrael> The sense of irony is unbearable. |
#107571 (210/494) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zeralug> I don't like cheese
<+Lash> Why not?
<Zeralug> It smells
<+Lash> Well, by that standar, I don't like you. |
#200370 (210/378) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Cynic: it looks like a flashlight but on the inside instead of batteries and a lightbulb, there's a synthetic vagina!
Elven: ...
Dexi: they also have anus and mouth
Dexi: not just va-
Dexi: i mean... i have no idea what types of orifices they offer! |
#307608 (210/274) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Lawrence yawns. "Napping then poker tonight."
<runrunner> fap poker
<Fritz> Fapoker
<&Ashilstraza|Raveness> how does one play fap poker?
<runrunner> kind of like strip poker
<Fritz> If you have a good hand, you win |
#13246 (210/389) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ùíù You're now known as
<@> wtf
<@> what nick am I |
#14817 (210/352) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ziggy> anyone know where i can download ICQ?
<Assmann> ziggy get on icq ill send it to u
<Ziggy> dude are you a fucking moron? |
#17390 (210/383) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Afterglow> what's the point of irc anyway
<@Afterglow> everyone idles
< destruct> the "point" is that if you take the third word spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a description of the path to the lost city of atlantis |
#25662 (211/393) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GM-Bot> What country is directly north of the continental United States?
<Fekko> cnanda
<vperez> canad
<Niftoria> canadarComment: (While playing a stupid trivia game)
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#29038 (210/342) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<guest1101> YEAH I MEAN.. HEY... HOW MANY PPL HAVE A TAN AND USE IRC.. I MEAN CHRIST..
<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your fingers. |
#29203 (210/400) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ascian> guess what stupid thing i just did.
<DocDemonic> What is that?
<ascian> i wanted to turn up the volume on my computer, as i'm watching this simpsons episode
<ascian> so i picked up the tv remote and attempted to increase volume.
<ascian> including pointing the remote at my monitor. |
#33163 (210/362) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<goatasaur> that reminds me of the health spa that was giving a deal on "champagne facials"
<goatasaur> and i thought, "if that isn't the name of a porn site, it should be"Comment: #fark on irvingnet
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#38603 (210/354) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sohcahtoa> So my girlfriend and I were at the store to get some stuff and we see a friend of ours.
<Sohcahtoa> He calls out "Hey! Its Bianca and DJ! Or is it DJ and Bianca?"
<Sohcahtoa> And trying to be all witty, I say "It's DJ and Bianca!" I always come first!"
<Sohcahtoa> And my girlfriend says "Yes...you DO always come first..." |
#38785 (210/328) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Vhab> so anyways, why are you installing linux King_Louie?
<@Vhab> specially since you are linuxfobic
<@King_Louie> cause i just read the licensing terms for windows 2003 for service providers
<@King_Louie> and now i see the point in free software
<@Vhab> aah the "your soul now belongs to microsoft" part |
#48568 (210/410) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[07:21] <jetlag> Oh wow, Chinese cars in summer 2007.
[07:22] <jetlag> I better start saving.
[07:24] <jetlag> Ok, done. |
#51392 (210/378) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<f0rked> it has that awful droning NEH NEH NEH alarm clock sound.. and sometimes I don't wake up, I just dream about trying to shut it off. My latest dream today was: I was in a school with a bunch of people, and everyone could hear this loud alarm and we were all crowded in the hallway running around trying to figure out how to shut it off. Eventually I figured out I was emitting it and executed a regular expression with my watch like s/#alarm#// to shut it ...
<f0rked> ... off. Once I knew it was me, I turned it back on, gathered up a bunch of people, then got ahead of them and showed them as I turned it off. My point was to tell people to learn regular expressions.
<f0rked> it was fucked up. |
#52648 (210/308) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s. I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof. |
#53548 (210/388) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Baku_Kui has joined
<beoba> DO BOOBS SMELL?
<Baku_Kui> you ever suspect that you walked into a room at exactly the wrong momment?
<Baku_Kui> I have a strange feeling like that just now. |
#62316 (210/394) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> greatest feeling on earth: being pissed off because you dont have any cigs, then reaching for your wallet to see how much cash you have and finding out that you have a pack of cigs in your back pocket ^_^
(... a few seconds later...)
<Trinexx> AH GOD DAMNIT THEY'RE ALL BROKEN |
#76942 (210/354) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Foxhill[away]> vista was released yesterday
<Foxhill[away]> 6 security updates released today
<Foxhill[away]> go go microsoft
<eranu> i thought its whole selling point was it was 'more secure' than xp
<Foxhill[away]> vista may be the most secure after Windows ME
<Foxhill[away]> cus no-one used that either
<Foxhill[away]> ME didn't actually spend enough time between crashes for a virus infection to kick in |
#34135 (209/385) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xdev0luti0nx: I know a guy who plays with legos while listening to the mission impossible theme on repeat.
Serrated Sp00n: ........You know some fucked up people, Hannah.
xdev0luti0nx: They cling to me. It's really unfortunate. |
#34216 (209/371) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<slippy^> i am evi|
<mr-cow> what you done now?
<slippy^> well
<slippy^> i had a thought.
<slippy^> sat on my desk is a "clients" pc
<slippy^> would it be wrong of me to install something that screwed it every few months, thus insuring work?
* slippy^ installs win98 |
#39236 (209/347) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Dave: should i order anal grease with the cpu?
Dave: THERMAL
Dave: >< |
#42552 (209/341) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darrick> i have some nintendo newsletter suubscription for some reason
<Darrick> and they sent me an email about mario tennis
<Darrick> the header: "Whack it, Mario"Comment: #acmlm, irc.acmlm.org
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#47009 (209/365) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<noisypop> meh what am I gonna do for 2 hours
<raw3> jack me off
<noisypop> then what for the remaining 1 hour and 59 minutes? |
#56454 (209/373) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Boche slaps wanks around a bit with a large trout
<Boche> how do i change weapon? someone? |
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