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#9616 (64/257) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@djcrom> she looks like shes about to giggle, then strip naked and wail away at her clit with a hammer in a sweaty, bloody session of demented masturbation
<Insolence> damn that's what my mom looked like when she found a porno in my room |
#10497 (64/237) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trelane>it'd be really weird if we died at the same time
<LOAF> We could die at 8/7 central. |
#11718 (64/226) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<SpecOps> my dad went to a Microsoft convention...he got a bunch of software for XP..Office XP, he also won a recliner, which was cool
<hmne> my dad went to a microsoft convention as well..all he got was a 200 dollar fine and a sore ass |
#11923 (64/265) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rann-chan> 0123.
<Rann-chan> Er, sorry. ^^;
<Reddjango> at least we know you can count to 3 ^_^
<Gary> And like a C programmer, too. :)
<Rann-chan> Of course I can. That's the number of guys a girl can take without using her hands, right? n.n |
#14753 (64/252) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<morbid> I had this plan
<morbid> i was going to join the band
<morbid> and kill myself, and leave my tuba there.
<morbid> it would explain it all |
#15125 (64/234) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
<The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire.
<The_Frymaster> You pervert. |
#25150 (64/260) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Uhh_Duh> And to all you virgins, THANKS FOR NOTHING! |
#27969 (64/214) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@kingmob> yeah, it's definitely a three-cup-of-coffee day
<@kingmob> have to go the fucking laundromat
<@kingmob> or do i?
* kingmob searches desperately for even one more pair of boxers |
#30460 (64/266) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<magaggie> fucking isp.
<SorcererX> is the isp good at it?
<magaggie> no, it's horrible
<magaggie> it only lasts four hours
<magaggie> though, it does rebound quickly... usually...
<SorcererX> and then you're at it again.. for a whole 4 hours?
<magaggie> yes.
<magaggie> i have good stamina
<magaggie> sometimes i'm at it for 18, 20 hours... |
#30755 (64/260) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
—› join: (D99) (Anon@MAK2237-A.STUDENT.TCU.EDU)
—› mode: (ChanServ) sets (+o D99)
—› quit: (Demize99) (Anon@Demize99.user.gamesnet) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
(@D99) this is retarded
(@D99) I wouldn't stay connected to my own cock if i had to access it through TCU's internet |
#32429 (64/264) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[brian2] oh hey guys, i just got the best part of the ex marriage story.
[brian2] she's marrying the owner of her company.
[billn] match made in HR.
[brian2] i think my response went over like a fart in a sleeping bag.
[billn] you were the only one who liked it? |
#37382 (64/164) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<z80> lets be helpfull
<z80> and intelligent
<z80> and maybe arrive at some truth most ppl miss
<SabrWolf> u could also just shutup |
#37705 (64/174) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Petah> btw, drug tests are the most degrading things on the face of the earth
<@Petah> pissing on demand into a plastic cup is by far the worst thing I've had to do in a doctor's office. it trumps "turn and cough" by a mile
<@Petah> especially when you come out and hand the nurse a cup full of piss and she comments on the volume
<@Petah> FUCK YOU BITCH I HAD A LOT OF WATER! |
#39025 (64/132) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rayne> Argh... If I get another piece of spam offering to enlarge my penis I'm gonna take a fucking picture of it and e-mail it back to them.
<mOdac> Rayne, you'll just get more |
#44140 (64/158) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<biounix> i am building this little inventory system for work
<biounix> a side project because shit seems to disappear
<biounix> and we need to keep track of stuff right
<_stan> you need help with the fraud module?
<biounix> haha
<biounix> what type of fraud module?
<_stan> the kind that can pull shit out of the inventory so you can steal it, of course.
<biounix> nah
<biounix> i dont steal shit from work
<_stan> yeah, because you don't have a fraud module.
<biounix> hahahaha |
#52868 (64/296) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<grumpydog> Cerlyn, like Kentucky fried chicken...you start with the breast and work your way to the thigh and at the end of it you still have a greasy box to put your bone in. |
#301528 (64/106) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Z1LCH> hmm
<@Z1LCH> I got a custard headache
<+raz> do you mean cluster headache?
<@Z1LCH> no
<@Z1LCH> I ate custard
<@Z1LCH> and now I have a headache
<@Z1LCH> custard headache |
#303436 (64/142) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* aqualis does science to Deltantor
=-= Deltantor is now known as rotnatleD
<ronatleD> !tuo edinsi em denrut uoy
* aqualis gazes upon his creation with disgust and horrorComment: irc.foonetic.net #xkcd
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#306433 (64/90) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Crowbar> grg: no it's not hemriaging, but it's not profitable.
<kyleman7> hemorrhaging
<grg> hemorrhoids
<spacey> just remember any word with 'rrh' in it is bad news.
<spacey> diarrhea, hemorrhaging, gonorrhea
<grg> rhinorrhagia
<grg> fancy word for nose bleed :D
<grg> Rhacophorus achantharrhena
<grg> a frog!
<spacey> frogs are bad news. Just ask the people at Jurassic Park
<grg> Collared Sparrowhawk (Accipiter cirrhocephalus)
<grg> lol... this one is the best
<grg> acephalorrhachia
<grg> "congenital absence of the head and spinal column"
<spacey> yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad news |
#309242 (64/88) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
<Andy> DISTRACTION |
#309886 (64/84) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> Fucking around with computers is how I became a registered Hex offender. |
#310063 (64/98) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<oniMaker> tw2113: 97b577be2a18c22ca3406f0d1fdc5c70
<tw2113> ?
<oniMaker> MD5'd profanity.
<oniMaker> If you want to feel insulted you'll have to set up some rainbow tables.
<tw2113> too much effort
<tw2113> i'lll just feign offense
<oniMaker> excellent choiceComment: during discussion of channel bots trapping profanity and warning uses about it
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#311148 (64/78) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Flanders> $markov Mozilla
<ChelsieBot> Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1; WOW64; Trident/7.0; rv:11.0) like Gecko Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT lol GOOD IDEA, CHELSIEBOT!
<Kawa> Hold up
<Kawa> Did she just notice she got in a loop?! |
#90 (65/399) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly. |
#1158 (65/251) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<maff> 84 of 127 emails...
<|Chris> god damn
<|Chris> aren't you popular
<maff> spamular |
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