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#12065 (62/264) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Mank_Sleep is now known as Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO
*** Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO is now known as Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT
*** Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT is now known as Mank_PORNO
#14239 (62/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Quits: cuebal (Most parents would hope that that their offspring yearn to become doctors, lawyers, or even a journalist, but these days all kids want to be is Pikachu..)
#14944 (62/271) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<erkdrvn666> I will one day overthrow Microsoft, I am a better programmer than that faggot bill gates...
<shadowylight> really... THATS COOL...
<erkdrvn666> Hold on a sec, someones at door
<shadowylight> wutever
::: .signoff@8.53p> erkdrvn66(miyagi@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca);
<shadowylight> erik?!
<shadowylight> brb kalling erik
<weezelpunk> sure thing buddy
<shadowylight> weird his phone is disconnected......
#16521 (62/252) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NoahSoft> wizdom: Where?
<wizdom> UK :p
<NoahSoft> Is that in australia?
#16574 (62/185) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<McManus-wrk> how 'bout a pr0n site?  you'd get tons of hits  :)
<manual_overide> McManus-wrk: LOL
<McManus-wrk> :D
<KT> when the page loads up the page should say "kiddie pr0n is uncool! you should be ashamed of yourself! your IP has been logged and sent to the nearest law enforcement agency"
<McManus-wrk> and then CLICK HERE for kiddie pr0n...
#22703 (62/228) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<uSa-> does anyone know of something similar to PHPnuke, but not as complex?
<[bn]ennoia> Check the toilet, next time you use it.
<[bn]ennoia> that's pretty similar.
#27944 (62/218) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes..
<tmoenk> People have said that i have an infinite supply of patience.
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes spent infinity in just four days.
#27964 (62/266) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bishead> 8===========================>
<[Piratez]> 8=D
<bishead> u got jipped
<[Piratez]> i'm jewish
#31635 (62/224) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Timsquared> Well I was trying to fix my computer and I was talking to tech support on the phone, The guy from tech support says unhook all the cables and tell me when your done.
<Cyril_M.> And...
<Timsquared> Well, I started disconnecting the cables and suddenly the tech support died out... I just went SHIT as i just remembered that my phone line was connected to my computer...
#32155 (62/294) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Scepterr> i think i pissed myself yesterday
<Scepterr> but i dont remember
<Scepterr> cause when i woke up this morning i noticed that my pants were soaking wet
<Scepterr> but it doesnt smell like piss
Comment: in oper channel at BetasIRC
#33213 (62/228) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Signoff: disp (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: disposal!disp@syru229-149.syr.edu)))
*** disp (disp@syru229-149.syr.edu) has joined channel #fark
<disp> i am fucking stupid
<disp> from my experience
<goatasaur> took you long enough
<disp> it was on auto reconnect
<disp> i did it manually
<disp> while it was reconnecting
<disp> and then i sat on the server
<disp> thinking i was in the channel
<goatasaur> no, i mean it took you long enough to figure out you're fucking stupid
Comment: #fark on irvingnet.net
#35184 (62/426) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Blindsight> I am so fucking pissed off at my roomate's dogs
<Blindsight> I walked out in the kitchen and one was rooting through the trash
<Blindsight> I said "cage", and normally they'll go in their cage cause they know their bad
<Blindsight> but the one fucking whore, ran in my room
<Blindsight> I went in my room and was like "CAGE" and it started pissing, I scared it so it pisses
<Blindsight> I was mega pissed
<Blindsight> fucked up the dog and threw him in the cage
<Blindsight> cleaned up the piss then I'm sitting here
<Blindsight> and I hear a pissing noise
<Blindsight> I look over and the other mother fucker is "marking his territory" over the other one's piss!!!
<Blindsight> so I fucked that one up and threw him in the cage
<Blindsight> jesus christ
Comment: #neoturbine on irc.neoturbine.net
#37601 (62/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Deedux> speaking of food, I don't get it
<Deedux> when I was eating like a fat ass, my dumps were all normal and, for the most part, pleasant
<KArmA-> that's not what your tummy says
<Deedux> but now that I've been exercising and eating salads and what not, my ass is like celine dion
<Deedux> indiscriminantly spewing excrement
Comment: #couch on EFnet
#38919 (62/294) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<utopian> I was at the Spiderman 2 premiere
<utopian> and they told us to turn off all cellphones
<utopian> and someone yelled out "in soviet russia, cell phone turn off you!"
Comment: #geekissues
#39517 (62/138) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Sohcahtoa] oh my god this tastes so damn good...why did I never think of this before? Filled a cup with ice, put in 2 oz of Vodka (Stoli) and filled the rest up with fruit punch.
...five minutes later...
[Sohcahtoa] God damn I think I put in a bit too much vodka in that punch...my head is hurting, but if I keep whacking myself in the back of my head with my fist, it stops hurting.
[Sohcahtoa] I should go to fucking bed now.
[Sohcahtoa] I stopped hitting myself in the head and now the back of my head hurts as well as the rest of it.
[Sohcahtoa] God damn I'm a fucking idiot.
Comment: Sohcahtoa in a rare moment of clarity
#42576 (62/168) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+vacuumo> I get nickalerted when people say anything containing 'vac'
<+Svip> I like vacpie.
<+Moto> I vacuumed my house today
<Goodfella> ass vac
<+Moto> Hey, have any of your steam accounts got vac'd yet?
<+EmSixTeen> Shake n' Vac
<&Segosa> vaca = cow in spanish.
<+Steven> packer vac
<+Rotten> i wanna go on vacation soon \:
<Goodfella> I got vac shit
<+Svip> You just had to say it, vacuumo?
#44535 (62/158) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tamara> o meed sp,e ficlomg cpffee/
<tamara> homerow. homerow.
<tamara> i need some fucking coffee.
#45866 (62/148) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Di> i had to walk down to william st. there to drop off summit
<Di> so on this narrow part of the footpath, this fat, pikey, annoying bitch is walking against me
<Di> so i step off the footpath cos she wont
<Di> she bitches at me then, saying she could have turned sideways if i had the manners to ask
<Kaimera> in her pikey limerick accent
<Di> so I said "You turning sideways would have been counter-productive!" but she didnt get it!
#77107 (62/284) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Growly|Work:  hahahah i bought an opengl book in russian from ebay
snoops:  how'd that work out for ya?
Growly|Work:  ... on the shelf
snoops:  next to the learn russian book?
Comment: #OCNZ
#259327 (62/92) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Nohc> I feel like playing video games\
<+Nohc> but I have too much work
<+aero> Has that stopped you before?
<+Nohc> good point
#300886 (62/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nyef> Is the measure of a writers' ability to not mix past, present, and future called "tensile strength"?
#302178 (63/93) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ironholds> "Lady Almeria Braddock felt insulted by Mrs Elphinstone and challenged her to a duel in London's Hyde Park after their genteel conversation turned to the subject of Lady Almeria's true age. The ladies first exchanged pistol shots in which Lady Almeria's hat was damaged. They then continued with swords until Mrs. Elphinstone received a wound to her arm and agreed to write Lady Almeria an apology."
<Dragonfly6-7> "Please excuse the handwriting, as my arm was mutilated when some cow slashed at it with a sword."
#303832 (62/88) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s
#305915 (62/92) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lolth> Apparently at some point the city designer got a fetish of one-way streets, and unless you know your way around, you're in for a big surprise...
<Crazy-Cabal> How do you have a fetish for roadways? I mean I even accept jet planes getting it on but...
<Midwoka> Roads have curves...
<Midwoka> ...Though, depending on your sexuality, you might be put off by the man-holes...
#307373 (62/174) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< kn0where> a fox is like a cat and a dog rolled into one
< auxchar> And when you light it on fire, you get a web browser, too.
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