TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..260261262263264265266..596Next> |
#305031* (?/41) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag Mixie: I'm an aethiest.
Moot: WHAT?!!
Mixie: I like things that don't exist!
Crispy: That's a relief...
Latino-Heat: NO!!! You're real! I had you move to New York so you could study Law!
Mixie: Moot never moved out of the Eastern Hemisphere...
Latino-Heat: Crap... |
#305045* (?/49) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <&Jason_Voorhees> i emailed virgin mobile for a cell phone...this was their reply after 3 days
<&Jason_Voorhees> which is ok since it was xmas
<&Jason_Voorhees> ---
<&Jason_Voorhees> Thank you for taking the time to write in to us!
<&Jason_Voorhees> Please accept our apology for the delayed response. We're a little backlogged at the moment and working hard to try and answer your important e-mail inquiry as soon as possible!
<&Jason_Voorhees> If you could give us a call at 1.888.999.2321 or 611 from your handset, one of our friendly Customer Service representative will be able to help you out.
<&Jason_Voorhees> We're here seven days a week to help you out!
<&Jason_Voorhees> Cheers,
<&Jason_Voorhees> KIM
<&Jason_Voorhees> VMC TEAM
<&Jason_Voorhees> ---
<&Jason_Voorhees> why have an email address if it just tells u to callComment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
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#305127* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag Mixelica: "A Christmas Carol" may as well be called--
Moot: ATTACK OF THE GROOVESHARK!!! |
#305133* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <HaduWolf> wat
<+Superfoxy> wat
<Cactus> wat
<RapidStrike> wat
<+Superfoxy> wat
<Scouto2> wat
<+^Gecko^> wat
<SquiRoFL> wat
<Cactus> wat
<Scouto2> wat
<RapidStrike> wat
<Scouto2> wat
<SquiRoFL> wat
<+^Gecko^> wat
<+^Gecko^> C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
<Scouto2> wat
<Scouto2> wat
* Cactus coolface
<SquiRoFL> GOD DAMMIT GECKOComment: #furaffinity on #furnet
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#305176* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag MixieFox: I went on tour in Italy with my Orchestra. Italy was beautiful--
Moot: But somehow wrong...
MixieFox: I would have had a great time if I had any friends left in the Music Groups in Attendance.
Moot: Bloody decadance...
Mixie: As soon as we were about to leave, an Unpronuncable Volcano from a Cash-strapped Country vomited ash...
RainMan: Sorry about that...
Mixie: So I was forced to stay in Germany and ogle the Fairytale King of Bavaria--
Moot: ME!!!
Mixelica: So yeah... Typical Easter... |
#305195* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag Shawn: WTF!!! Is that a fucking mouse?
Me: Yeah, u never seen one?
Shawn: ... Of course but not that big.
Me. Everything is bigger in Texas. |
#305197* (?/33) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag ***Bravo sent a male prostitute to Alpha's house, on Delta's suggestion. Alpha's parents were in, but the hooker left before anyone could answer the door***
***Charlie is in charge***
iCharlie [~icharlie@207-237-168-145.c3-0.wsd-ubr2.qens-wsd.ny.cable.rcn.com] has joined #clueirc
<Echo> HiCharlie :)
<Echo> Everything is normal here.
<Delta> Hi Charlie.
<iCharlie> HiEcho
<Echo> No need to worry at all.
<Delta> Nothing unusual just happened.
<Delta> At all.
<iCharlie> Hi Delta
<Echo> It's just been a completely normal day.
<Delta> Echo: Do you think he'd believe us if we told him?
<Foxtrot> iCharlie, uCharlie, weallCharlie for iCharlie.
<Echo> Very average 2011 day.
<iCharlie> Lol
<Bravo> I think Charlie might not like me after this :(
<iCharlie> Thug
<Delta> Or me.
<Delta> It's kinda my fault.
<iCharlie> Errr. Uhuh.
<Delta> The best thing is, by talking like this, he assumes we're doing that jokey thing.
<Delta> "What a great party", you know?
Alpha smiles
<Delta> And he doesn't believe that anything just happened.
<Bravo> Alpha: did you get into any trouble?
<iCharlie> Right.
<Echo> Delta: Nothing did just happen.
<Bravo> They left without your parents noticing, right?
<Delta> Bravo: SHUTUP
<Alpha> Bravo: mhm
<Delta> Echo: Yeah, obviously.
<Bravo> Ok.
<Delta> Charlie: So how's your 2011 been?
<Bravo> Then I can go rest in peace now.
<Alpha> Bravo: turning off all the lights in the street-facing rooms was a good move
<Delta> So you wasted the money, Alpha?
<Delta> You might as well have got what you paid for...
<Bravo> I PAID FOR
<iCharlie> If anything had happened one of my loyal informants would have pmd me by now.
<Bravo> fsck
<Delta> I'm not an expert, but that sounds like some cheap sex.
<Alpha> ..I'm heterosexual.
<Alpha> and male.
<Alpha> no, no pics of that.
<Echo> That's what they all say.
<Delta> Echo: By including the above reference to sex, Charlie now *really* thinks we're joking.
<Delta> Which, of course, we are.
<Echo> I think he might have logs.
<Alpha> =)
<Echo> Logs of nothing.
<Alpha> of course, of course
<Delta> Yeah. Of nothing.
<Delta> So there's no need to check those logs at all.
<Echo> Yeah.
<Bravo> Stop it guys.
<Bravo> It's not really that funny.
<Delta> Charlie's wondering what the fuck happened.
<Delta> The answer to which, of course, is NOTHING!
<Alpha> no, no fuck
<Delta> Hahaha!
<Delta> Exactly, no fucking happened.
<Delta> Unfortunately.
<iCharlie> I'm agreed with Bravo actually.
<Delta> Yes! He believed we're joking.
<Delta> OK, let's stop now.Comment: No virginity was harmed in the making of this quote - names censored to protect the guilty
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#305226* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag Error: MySQL server has gone away
Error No: 2006
SELECT * FROM languageComment: Google Base Feed on neatpleats.com
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#305232* (?/77) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag So I hooked my bf up to the wifi
He is so clueless when it comes to the internet
I rickrolled him so many times that he refuses to open my emails now
the other night I taught him how to save a bookmark
and there's one already saved
so he goes what is that
and I tell him that's from when I was looking for vista drivers for his sound card (about a year ago)
and he goes (with genuine amazement) 'wow, it remembered that all this time?'Comment: I love him though. he plays a fender jaguar.
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#305242* (?/61) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <@sando> Old_Camper: I'm on a horse
<@SirSquid> [citation needed] |
#305245* (?/41) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Master_Soa> i mean the room with ur recprd player and all gold dimonds and couches...
<Master_Soa> sry afk atm checking every few min
<%Loyle> I should kick you for that...
<%Loyle> More than hafe the words in that sentence weren't real words
<%Loyle> *hlaf
<%Loyle> *halfComment: #cmc, irc.nightstar.net
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#305253* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <an0n> I just had the single greatest idea for anything Star Trek related ever...
<an0n> A crewman hitting on an alien chick.
<an0n> It sounds simple, but hear me out...
<an0n> "Blah blah blah flirt flirt. ;D" "You... realize that I'm a Hilariousalien, and that I don't have a vagina, right?" "You've got a mouth, don't you?" |
#305268* (?/33) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <+sandnigg0r> i have a question
<+sandnigg0r> can anyone explain to me what metasploit does and what its for?
<+savagejen> is that a joke?
<+[ill]will> it makes little hackers into big hackers
<+itr> it makes little hackers think theyre big hackers
<+sandnigg0r> right but like i have the framework installed so i can access it through terminal and im just wondering what sort of things i can do with it
<+savagejen> sandnigg0r: so, basically, penis enlargement |
#305290* (?/25) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Schazer> but he's periodically pilfering my yeah I've only got sisters
<Schazer> and they're younger than me so don't even think about it |:<
<SpecialK> she has all the sister
<@terrorPhysicist> Man, sisters. I feel your pain.
<SpecialK> i have a sister
<Schazer> one is all right
<SpecialK> she is pretty good=)
<Schazer> the other is pretty damn awful
<@terrorPhysicist> ... which one is older
<SpecialK> YAY SIBLINGS
<Schazer> one is 16 but has a boyfriend and she is the bitchy one I have squat in common with
<@terrorPhysicist> well
<@terrorPhysicist> in a couple of years
<@terrorPhysicist> I could take the awful one off your hands
<Schazer> the other is 14 sarcastic as fuck and don't you fucking think about it manslut
<@terrorPhysicist> hahahah
<Schazer> I shit you not
<Schazer> I will surgically fix you
<@terrorPhysicist> I will not touch your family.
<Schazer> |:<
<Schazer> or >:| they both seem to convey about what I'm thinking
<@terrorPhysicist> ... physically |
#305311* (?/19) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <KeenanP> email is <snip>
<KeenanP> :D
* awweaver subscribes Keenan to a few sites he wont want mail from....Comment: #Dropbox - irc.foonetic.net
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#305369* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag slew: i can travel through time
yazdmich: i can to
slew: a rate of approximately 1 second/ second, depending on the local gravitational effects of yazdmich's mama
yazdmich: i'm going at at a rate of 1 second/second
slew: no you appear to be quicker slower than that
yazdmich: fuck you
yazdmich: you're too nerdy to execute your_mama.joke
slew: you're too nerdy to execute your retort to my mama joke
yazdmich: NerdOS kernel error: yo_mama.retort not found on server "slew"Comment: nerdfight in #zomgwtfbbq on irc.p2p-network.net
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#305375* (?/25) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <pitz> It's gonna be a cool night
<pitz> Just let me bang poo by the fire light
<pitz> [subtext: I have sex with shit]
<pitz> LOL 'G |
#305377* (?/23) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag [13:27] |<-- CTSUN has left vision-irc (Quit)
<iFaffy> Noooooo
<iFaffy> Alas poor CT
<iFaffy> I knew him,
<iFaffy> !shades
<iFaffy> Horatio
<Rhona_d`Cannith> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAH! |
#305392* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <JizZy> i had sex this week... with a woman
<stumpy> ew
<stumpy> women are ugly
<stumpy> men are beautiful
<JizZy> are u gay if u have sex a male animal?
<stumpy> yeah
<JizZy> LMAO
<Kota> quotedComment: partydome
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#305421* (?/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <%Polynomial> talking about prostitute skulls is probably a really bad way to pick up girls
<%Polynomial> and is probably also the reason why Harry never gets the loli girl of his dreams
<%Polynomial> "So, how old are you? 8, I see. Wonderful. Do you wanna see my collection of prostitute skulls?"Comment: irc.p2p-network.net / #zomgwtfbbq
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#305431* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag * +SpikeTDog dcc's Elle his EZ Guide to IRC Speeling.
<+SpikeTDog> errr....
<+SpikeTDog> Spelling.Comment: #Beginner on EFnet
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#305434* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Julius2> I searched for 'porn', no results
<Julius2> so you've hidden all the porn, eh?
<Hunterm> no, i have none on there anymore
<Hunterm> i took it offComment: Hunterm includes search function on his site, <3 on freenode
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#305475* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <kaywinnit> phoenix is a horrible place to retire
<steef> Way to retire.
<lordzippy> kaywinnit had a quick career. i think it was just a few days ago she said that university of waterloo said yes. right after that, her millions came in, and now she is retiring to phoenix |
#305485* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <luke-jr> wtf
<luke-jr> I stop the mining and my video card fans fire up?
<andrew12> luke-jr: that happens to me too, though it's usually when i'm closing my laptop
<ArtForz> probably PTSD
<ArtForz> ;) |
#305524* (?/33) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag < parsleyfirefly> i think most gentoo users are certifiable :)
< shortcircuit> I think we're mostly just closeted for being assumed to be certifiable.
* shortcircuit pokes parsleyfirefly
< parsleyfirefly> most gentoo users are closeted?
< parsleyfirefly> mm k...
< shortcircuit> parsleyfirefly: This channel is family friendly. Don't make me get into the specifics of anecdotally disproving your implication.
< shortcircuit> ;)
< parsleyfirefly> hey, you said it
< shortcircuit> The phrase generally goes, "I'm a closeted $classname", which means that $person has the hidden property of being of member $classname".
< shortcircuit> The phrase "I'm closeted" is a shortened form for a specific $classname, but is irrelevant when a $classname is given.
< shortcircuit> :P
< parsleyfirefly> you and your... variables
* shortcircuit is no longer certain he's a geek, and not merely a nerd.Comment: #grlug@freenode
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