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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..394395396397398399400..599Next> |
#13630 (74/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Robertuybrush> HELLOW, I'M ROBERTUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD!
<Robertuybrush> I JUST WANT TO BE A PIRATE
<FortKeeper> To become a pirate, turn off CAPS-LOCK |
#14569 (70/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Baby_Gurl16> Does any one here have a thousand dollars i could borrow to bail my boyfriend out of jail with if so please msg me |
#16655 (70/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk. |
#24337 (86/342) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DarkForceRising> cmon pmab i need ur best anecdotes n jokes
<pmab> knock knock
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<DarkForceRising> whos there pmab u fgt
<DarkForceRising> !pmab
<DarkForceRising> pmab
<DarkForceRising> oi pmab
<DarkForceRising> whos there
<pmab> whos where?
* DarkForceRising is now known as dfr^ihatepmab |
#27273 (61/235) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* moralove has joined #SimGames
<moralove> !list
<moralove> !find simcity
<sine-wave> !goaway
<sine-wave> !nowarezhere
<moralove> !haveagooddaynegativity
* moralove has left #SimGames |
#30473 (179/749) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[ blinko1 ] A friend of mine used to go to gas stations and ask for cigarettes
[ blinko1 ] when they put them on the counter he would grab them and run
[ blinko1 ] if the guy chased we would run inside and loot the placeComment: #d2jsp
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#31004 (70/268) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kasidori> my stepdad wouldn't let metake a piccy for this reason: You may think you know your bestfriends, but profit prevails all! They will take the picture of your head and put it on a naked body and sell it on E-bay. |
#1139 (68/260) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SYch0> heh
* SYch0 has a great family
<SYch0> :D
<Ash> Because they indulge you.
<Ash> But if they keep doing that, you'll grow up fat and arrogant!
<Ash> Oh, wait.... :( |
#1385 (65/247) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(chronic1) i wouldn't like a virgin....i think they deserve a professional fuck the first time so they are not dissappointed....i could go down...but i am not the best fuck
...
(chronic1) if masterbation made you good, i'd be the best |
#3290 (71/273) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than me
(snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/ |
#6033 (60/225) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DinoNeil> where the hell is Dan keeping himself these days?
<homeslice> In a jar under the sink.
<homeslice> He's saving it for marriage. |
#7165 (77/297) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^FiCtIoN^> get a tounge ring
<CheeseCookies> lol, coz there good on chicks :D
<Mousey> so is an apron |
#10647 (63/238) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<EuRaSiAn`GuY> If Someone query's me typing #Channel, and there in a channel i have ops in, how do i auto ban them?
<@netwerk> thats stupid
<@netwerk> go sit in the corner and think about wat you just said |
#117669 (51/189) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+zmda> how fast do you guys think i can type
<+zmda> 100?
<+zmda> 200?
<+zmda> 300?
* hund sets mode: -v zmda
<@hund> 0 words per minute is my guesstimate.Comment: #c on efnet
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#239514 (16/46) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D |
#295706 (89/353) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Lord Adam: you know what
Lord Adam: If I feel crap
Lord Adam: I should just look at that picture of the dog in the towel
Amelia: you know
Amelia: you should show like.. bin laden that photo
Amelia: he'll just smile and say
Amelia: "You know.. the war is stupid. No more fighting - I'm getting me a dog. I already have a towel. |
#302761 (15/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< sklnd> i was an intern at jpmc for two years
< sklnd> i lost like 50 million dollars one day in intra-bank funds
< sklnd> by fucking up a ftp uploadComment: #cobol
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#12356 (77/300) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NASTYFEET> ANY TUFF GUYS HERE THAT WILL FIGHT MY DAD ? MSG ME |
#20858 (63/241) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online"
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone"
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO"
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you" |
#29648 (76/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me. |
#30539 (75/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stu> if i could sell feet odour, i'd be rich
<jonathans> and aloneComment: #lost
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#32043 (69/265) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kisama> "acme shells" sounds like wile e. coyote's shell company
<pHluid-> There's a RoadRunner joke in there, but I'm too lazy to find it. |
#36219 (59/223) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Xial> Command line interface terminal. :o
<@Xial> Women are COMPUTERS!!!!
* @Xial has scary realization
<+Nulike> :O
<@Xial> Seriously!
<@Xial> Why do you think we have so much control over them when we use the Command line interface terminal properly?
<+Nulike> Enlighten us!
<@Xial> Because it's powerful. A well interfaced CLIT is a happy CLIT, and a happy CLIT means we are treated well, in return. XD
<+Nulike> O_O
<@Xial> Makes sense? :3
<@Xial> Plus,
<+Nulike> Worst of all, it does.
<@Xial> some women tell us what to do when we're using it, sorta like pressing the help key
<@Xial> "Ooooh, slooooooowwwww..." for example
<@Xial> If you get a "Stop Teasing, and FUCK ME NOW!", you've likely done it right XD
<+Nulike> @.@;Comment: #voices / DarkMyst; Xial's apparently had too much sugar and caffeine.
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#39481 (48/178) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes |
#50431 (49/181) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rw-rw-rw-> Just found out that the reason they didn't upgrade this ISDN line here to voice+data is because "we're out of trunks".
<scromp> Uh oh. Nothing worse than half-naked telco employees |
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