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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..215216217218219220221..599Next> |
#9928 (168/335) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SlemJack> diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. |
#10837 (179/357) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Keeper> ooooh, another dead mouse
<Keeper> I think it was a radioactive mouse too, cos as soon as the mousetrap snapped, the TV reception died for a second
<Deke> keeper has mice?
<Keeper> not anymore :P |
#10869 (175/349) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stuckie> I had to sit through the Sound of Music for TWO FRIGGIN weeks.. bloody school shows... probably why I've cracked... lol
<Stuckie> The hiiiiiills are aliiiiiive with the sound of **BANG!!** DIE YOU BASTARDS!!! **BANG!!** |
#34223 (200/402) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<t|to> I practice being a bash.org mod by voting "negative" on all the quotes in the bash.cx queue |
#35458 (267/541) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<elitotaco> a 3 legged dog walks into an old western saloon, walks up to the bar tender and says "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
<Kennef> that joke just made my daughter cry, elitotacoComment: from newnet's #fark
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#36335 (156/310) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<finn> so I was searching tattoos on google, and there was a hot girl with a tattoo.
<finn> so I searched girl
<finn> and there was a hot girl in a tub
<finn> you can immagine the rest :( |
#40419 (158/314) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE is now known as SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP <M1Garand8> Your nick reminds me that I need to sleep now...
<M1Garand8> Bye all...
* SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP is now known as DIEEEEEEEE |
#45613 (139/275) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<makeboss> Thankfully though, the price of DivX rips has remained constant over the past 52 weeks, and will continue into the next quarter according to industry insiders.
<D-viant> well thats good news
<D-viant> I'm not sure I can deal with anything more than freeComment: #ramen
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#52958 (136/268) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Junithorn> Well, I've come to the realization that America really needs to convert to metric..
<Junithorn> I was down in NY visiting a friend and we decide to drive back up to Canada
<Junithorn> So ok, driving along the highway in the US, 60 MPH whatever, 80 MPH... and then we cross the border and he sees the sign, but doesnt see the KMH... 120.
<Junithorn> I didn't even think his car went that fast
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#52986 (126/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<vect0rx> im so sick of job interviewing.. is there a freenode chan for that?
<Erwin> Would you say job interviews were your greatest weakness? And if you joined that channel, where do you see yourself after 5 years on it?Comment: ##C@Freenode
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#54437 (176/352) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<xgamer04> I really hate MSN messenger. I wish people would use something else.
<DRAGONX6> I don't think it matters what chat program you use
<DRAGONX6> everyone's going to be away anyways |
#55560 (177/353) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MTRH> Ooops.
<MTRH> CPU 1C, GPU 2C, HD 9C.
<MTRH> Forgot laptop outside. |
#73083 (201/403) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Arciel: Yeah but you know, cannibalism is really just another form of recycling |
#74613 (209/421) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<catinabox> i can't help being annoying
-- rmuser has kicked catinabox from #albinoblacksheep (I can)Comment: irc.lcirc.net #albinoblacksheep
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#36035 (117/229) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Morris> I used to beat it for fun
<Morris> Just sit on my ass for 2.5 hours and waste it
<Morris> But as time moved on, I started speeding up.Comment: A videogame actually, not that he realized what he said
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#37314 (137/271) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Redd_Jedi> When people say "Have you been penetrated" does that mean have they been shot?
<Plog> o_O
<Squirtle> O_O
<Redd_Jedi> What?
<Plog> Redd_Jedi: When you have a man and a woman.
<Redd_Jedi> WHOA WHOA WHOA I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING
<Plog> they order a bird to drop a baby down their chimney.
<Plog> And the baby is penetrating the chimney you see. >_>
<Redd_Jedi> So that's what it means <_< |
#39849 (74/142) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@psych0sys> i hate those questionable farts where your not sure if your about to experience relief or a massive stream of molten shit |
#40046 (162/324) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<finn> hah
<finn> its 13:37 here
<finn> :)
<finn> I want to die for even noticing :( |
#42169 (100/194) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+aeonite> Doom 3 is too dark
Jeff> Adds to the atmosphere
<Jeff> It's part of the story, anyway. The power is out everywhere. All you got is a flashlight
<+aeonite> it's lazy
<+aeonite> they were like "oh shit these levels look like crapass" "we'll just make every level pitch black then"
<Jeff> Yeah, I'm sure the people at ID were like "Ehhh, we get tired of making good graphics. Let's just make it dark"Comment: #fark
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#43711 (142/282) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jwh> My ex gf once told me that girls don't poop
<jwh> I told her she was full of shit. |
#43795 (140/278) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<R3mix> my social studies teachers computer crashed today and she got the ever-too-common "program has performed an illegal operation" message
<R3mix> so a few minuted later she was on the phone with the network admin and she was saying
<R3mix> "my computer says i have performed an illegal abortion" |
#46325 (147/293) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darien> you know you're Canadian when feeling bad can be alleviated by meaningless sex OR hockey
<Darien> or both
<NrgSpoon> there's no such thing as meaningless hockey. |
#48076 (177/355) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
PatamonKid: but, while we hadn't been talking, I was starting to like someone else we knew
PatamonKid: found out last night she had liked me a lot at the same time
Guardian Angel: You must feel like you're in a hentai game D:
PatamonKid: actually, yes. That's EXACTLY how if feels. x_x
PatamonKid: except, you know, I won't actually get any at the end.
Guardian Angel: hahahahahahah |
#53238 (144/286) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
aK\: last night i had a dream that i was searching the internet for some dll and couldn't find it, then someone sent it to me, then i ran outside and saw a tornado, which was only about 3ft wide at the bottom, tearing towards my house, so i panicked and was trying to think WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO because i didn't want to lose that dll, so i ran back inside and started to ftp it to my website but it was taking filezilla forever to open, then it finally did but i got scared the tornado was going to kill me, and then i woke up. |
#58083 (164/328) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryon> Why, when I type <ctrl>-d, does dbx say "use `exit'"?
<Pryon> Why not just exit, you stupid-ass program?
<kjdavies> Pryon: ^D is 'End of File' in UNIX
<kjdavies> in many shell-type programs (including FTP, psql, and SQL*Plus, in UNIX), ^D will end the session
<Pryon> kjdavies: Yes, I wanted to end the session. If dbx knows this, why does it tell me to do something else? It's just st00pid
<Pryon> It's like dbx wants you to use a safe word, and assumes you're just enjoying the pain when you say "stop now" |
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