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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..123124125126127128129..599Next> |
#251308 (334/576) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Buck> if you got like thousands of chameleons together
<Buck> could you use them as a monitor? |
#296886 (158/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SaxxonPike> Final Fantasy 10... as far as I can tell, the number is a rating determined by how much the men look like women
<SaxxonPike> it's just a coincidence they are being released sequentially |
#300358 (23/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fax> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
<Fax> because if you write nutrition information labels for a living you need to get your kicks from somewhere
<Fax> I'd totally do stuff like "Polyethylene Monosodium Carbonate (Vitamin A, Vitamin B4, Vitamin lol this doesn't even exist I just made it up...but let's see you eat it NOW. Man I can't believe you're even still reading this. Go outside.)"
<lolfighter> Vitamin lol DOES exist.
<lolfighter> It was an experimental food additive developed in the very late 70s.
<lolfighter> By the early 80s a few human experiments had been made.
<lolfighter> My mother was strapped for cash, so she participated.
<lolfighter> She didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
<lolfighter> I was the result.
<lolfighter> The records were sealed after that and all research abandoned. |
#302601 (45/71) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt |
#303074 (108/178) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<banquo> J and I bought Ron and his wife a fuckswing for their wedding present.
<banquo> They won't admit to having used it, but they do have a fern in their bedroom now that's on a REALLY big eyebolt |
#308292 (52/84) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%K-man> Simmml: there's a saying... "It's pointless to alt-tab porn... if your other window is also porn..." :P
<Simmml> hehe That's the problem ;P
<Simmml> What works too is just switching the screen off.... or locking the door... or getting your own apartment...
<Simmml> although closing windows and tabs will not help much I think considering that you're still sitting infront of your pc without pants on? ;)
<%K-man> ahhh.. yes... the single hardest choice every young boy eventually has to make in his life.... hide the porn or hide the penis....
<Simmml> cruel world ;P
<%K-man> at that point, you learn the art of "fap shui".. the art of rearranging your room so that you don't have to hide anything if anyone bursts is.
<%K-man> it's a legit ancient art I swear...
<%K-man> perfected by horny ninjas... |
#1590 (242/414) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity |
#2061 (263/451) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-) |
#4509 (266/456) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CoMBo> haha, dude i can kill u
<CoMBo> with my bear hands
<refujee> you're a bear?
<refujee> or did you just get bear hands grafted onto your body? |
#5272 (244/417) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid |
#5468 (257/440) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet. |
#6703 (229/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Say My Name.mp3]-[4.34mb/4m 30s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 04 - Warm Hugs.mp3]-[5.23mb/5m 26s]
<Dynamo> No one saw Destiny's Child, or Pet Music, aight?
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Independent Woman Part 1.mp3]-[3.6mb/3m 44s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 08 - Chasing Clouds.mp3]-[4.4mb/4m 35s]
<Dynamo> This PC must hate me. |
#7855 (232/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<octo> no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your balls
<HeXeDeCiMaL> OMG 0 ...
<Angelhair> curiosity will get you every time
<Ninja_Bill> as far as i know curiosity didnt make a cat put aftershave on its nuts |
#8253 (199/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hamsters> is there any tips that i can pass my writen test?
<shagman> hamsters, learn english |
#34302 (211/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheGreatDrunkMonkey> It's like a book report from Hell
<Mayseth> Sounds like alot of writing, I'll get you started.
<Mayseth> Page 1: It was short, and boring. Losing interest to read book.
<Mayseth> page 2: Still boring. I fell asleep. Will continue in the morning.
<Mayseth> Page 2.5: God this book sucks.
<Mayseth> Page 3: I downloaded the rest of this report off the internet. Enjoy. |
#35377 (254/434) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Freefall> http://www.strategypage.com/dls/articles/2004418.asp <-- the definition of oxymoron. Replacing the engines on NUCLEAR missle in order to make them more 'environmently friendly'. |
#36331 (174/294) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jonathans> i also got stopped for practicing a movie scene in a parking lot where the passenger in my car robs a liquor store
<jonathans> we pull up to the store at 30 and he runs out and slides across the hood
<jonathans> cop didnt like that much
<jonathans> he thought we were actually robbing the store
<jonathans> after talking for ten minutes he had a part in the movie |
#44547 (205/347) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<clay> youre going to pay for this, langdon
<langdon> use apostrophes
<clay> im going to fu'ck you up |
#46292 (193/327) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
RecursiveBadger: I had one guy today whos dxdiag report I have saved onto my desktop to cheer me up in the future
Slacker: Do elaborate..
RecursiveBadger: We sent him the generic request for system specs, which is basically "send us your dxdiag report, or at least your Processor, Manufacturer, etc etc"
RecursiveBadger: So he'd taken our email
RecursiveBadger: Printed it
RecursiveBadger: Written beside each point what his system had
RecursiveBadger: Scanned his print-out in
RecursiveBadger: And attached the scans as jpegs |
#47952 (309/531) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Galisus): the clitoris is that thing in the back of the throat, right? |
#49356 (250/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
RrR00Tt: ur makin him a computer?
RasmusMelanie: yah
RasmusMelanie: he broke my heart and left me dead and depressed....so im returning the favor...im installing windows 98 as we speak |
#54864 (200/340) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Scorbutus> now theres 3 questions you dont want to hear when sitting in a room full of computers...
<Scorbutus> "what was that noise?" "whats that smell?" and "wheres that smoke coming from?"
<Scorbutus> especially when the answer to all 3 is...my router
<Scorbutus> :( |
#55995 (180/304) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trai`Hwork> you know, 'real' communism is acctually a really good form of government...
<Trai`Hwork> atleast, that's what civ 2 told me |
#36217 (179/303) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bog> people should always look at what they fuck
<Bog> i mean type
<Bog> ..Comment: #hothardware on irc.burghcom.com
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#40309 (226/386) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* brit is now known as ILIKEPLANTERSNUTS
* defaulrt is now known as PLANTERS |
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