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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..122123124125126127128..599Next> |
#215584 (488/846) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<blu> so today i went outside because we had new stairs and etc, long story
<blu> so i go outside theres this girl on the street
<blu> so i go see her and tell her "i got molested by a mango when i was young what should i do"
<blu> SO NOW SHE PULLS A BRICK OUT OF HER PURSE
<blu> i start running
<blu> SHE FUCKING THREW IT AT ME
<blu> and now she just saw where i live
<@MokN> good luck with that
<blu> ok so i just went to give her the brick
<blu> she went
<blu> "WHAT THE FUCK ITS YOU AGAIN"
<blu> i said "hi here's your brick" |
#230058 (284/486) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Rictoo> CAN U DO THIS WITH SHORT HAIR
<GoneFishing> yes
<GoneFishing> caps lock is functional to anyone with a keyboard, long hair or not |
#306155 (166/278) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> man, I should go hang out in a linux support channel. I'd fit right in
<Trinexx> not only did I not answer ELHN's question, I went on a tangent based on an assumption where I told him that what he's doing is wrong
<Trinexx> I then vaguely insulted him |
#33468 (265/453) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<djevan> ok i'm going to jump off a fucking bridge
<RonJo> why??
<djevan> i was reading bash a couple weeks ago and my dad comes in and asks 'what site is that' and i told him bash.cx
<djevan> well today him and i went shopping
<djevan> and we're talking, and he goes 'so have you checked out the latest additions to bash'
<RonJo> OMG that's a geeks worst nightmare dude
* RonJo hands dj the bullet
<djevan> thanks
*** Quits: djevan (Exit: killing myself ask RonJo for details) |
#34668 (245/417) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> now I'm off taking zoloft, I'm supposed to go for a 'colon cleansing'
<Rjx> I don't know how that works
<Rjx> but I know I don't want it |
#34828 (294/502) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<everest> hahahahaha
<everest> this gas station offered "unleaded, premium, chronic"
<everest> err
<everest> evidently none of what i just said is true.
* everest erases all of your memories
<SlackDug> wha .. what just happened?
<SlackDug> i feel like i blacked out
<everest> must have been an isolated and completely natural incident
* Swight takes away everest's "flashy thing"
<everest> this wouldn't be the first time i've gotten in trouble for flashing my thingComment: #geekissues
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#42192 (201/339) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Evo|utioN> for bots
<mutante> what about it
<Evo|utioN> need
<mutante> please form sentences |
#43380 (148/248) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
fac3less: boss sent me 'youre fired' in a pm as a joke..
fac3less: grabbed my jacket and left :P haha
bvierra: LOL
fac3less: "wait, wait, you know I was joking right?" "thats okay I'm serious" .. wish I could have that much fun everyday at workComment: #cpanel on efnet
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#47058 (270/460) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<morton> I have a hampster named Bukkake
<jeeves> umm... we were talking about routers
<morton> I know, I just had to get that out there in the open |
#47221 (162/272) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AnDreW_BeAn> some sicko is downloading gay porn from me on winmx
<Skyon> ... |
#52744 (171/287) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nanuq> Steakk: "Which of the following would you most prefer? A: A puppy, B: A pretty flower from your sweetie, or C: A large properly formatted data file?"
<Steakk> Nanuq: depends...whats in the data file? |
#16262 (163/274) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[ +Mattster ] in an emergency, the hard drive will launch itself through my window and safely onto the back lawn
[ +Mattster ] so in the future, someone else can benefit from my mp3's and porn |
#18663 (266/454) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@boohiss> YOU AREN'T MY REAL FATHER
<@boohiss> I HATE YOU
<@boohiss> YOU NEVER WENT TO MY BASEBALL GAMES
<+DuoMaxwell> you never played baseball, you signed up for ballet you fuckin fag
<@boohiss> oh yeah... |
#21966 (251/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tuned> you're just stupid, please get hit by a car full of bees. |
#22537 (269/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<percilicious> !8ball Am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball You're just saying that to get in my
<ChanServ> percilicious: Yes.
<percilicious> !8ball Well given the fact that I would never sleep with an online bot, am I sexier than Leonardo Dicaprio?
<ChanServ> percilicious: No. |
#13359 (234/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TrivBot> Question 3. A man's beard grows fastest when he ______?
<_Cozmo_> shaves it
<emul8or__> shaves
<RatAway> jacks off
<TrivBot> Here's a hint: antici
<Rjx> anticipates sex
<TrivBot> Rjx got the answer: anticipates sex. In: 5.7secs.
<Rjx> wtf? |
#16108 (241/411) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<goferdude> What's "hockey"?
<zamros> REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HOCKEY IS?
<Funk> It's like boxing, except it's on ice and there are teams |
#16977 (211/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Uzzie> i'm sueing herbal essences
<Uzzie> i didn't get orgasms |
#17392 (177/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Danelope> I'm trying to set a password, and they're telling me it's invalid.
<Danelope> Because it can be "derived from another word".
<harb> Yeah.
<harb> It's just calling to passwd, I bet.
<Danelope> They're forcing you to use randomized passwords.
<Danelope> That's fucking retarded. Especially for an FTP-only account.
<harb> Heh.
<Danelope> "Duhhh. You're creating an FTP-only account with its home limited to a single non-primary folder on the Web server! Let's give you shit about a password!"
<Danelope> "Duhhh! There's absolutely no way this information can be used to compromise the system! But we'll still harass you here!"
<homeslice> Make it "Dr3amh0stsu|<s5hit"
<Danelope> "Sorry, that password can be derived from 'dreamhostsucksshit', which is a common password." |
#30141 (282/484) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Astrodog[BTEG]> Woah.
<Astrodog[BTEG]> My bank issue'd me a credit card.
<Catgirl[BTEG]> Morons. |
#33098 (216/368) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole |
#123973 (301/517) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Fireboy224 joined #twokinds
<Fireboy224> Hello all
<ThePyrO> Yo
<ThePyrO> I don't know you, but I have a feeling we'll get along XD
<Fireboy224> Yes. |
#131840 (227/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MartinRandom> Creepier yet the only japanese I know is how to say hello, goodbye, and how to respond when being rapedComment: #raspberryheaven
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#140733 (180/304) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pulse> i remember when i was 16
<pulse> i applied to a dunkin donuts by me, because they were hiring for cashiers
<pulse> 3 weeks later, i hear nothing
<pulse> i go in there after and guess what i see
<pulse> a fucking chick with down syndrome standing at the register being taught by the manager how to use it
<pulse> that made me not want to apply for a job ever again |
#152868 (437/759) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< nitrogen> har! i broke 100 on facebook!
< nitrogen> i win!
< curgoth> here's what you win;
< curgoth> 49 ongoing scrabulous games
< curgoth> 20 of which will send you daily pokes for not playing fast enough
< curgoth> 73 daily funwall posts of forwarded videos and "pass this on or your dog will die" posts
< curgoth> 357 invites to apps that require you to invite everyone you know to find out who your secret crush is
< curgoth> (which then notifies everyone you invite that you have a secret crush on them)
< curgoth> and 25 people you knew and didn't like in high school who think you should be fast friends now
< curgoth> and get upset when you don't share thier politics |
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