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#56249 (301/509) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Advocate> Hey guys, wanna hear a riddle? ^^
<Advocate> There's jill and jack on the floor, dead
<LightFang> They're fish
<Advocate> I hate you |
#56538 (224/376) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
+PrinceVen : porn spam just doesn't make sense anymore
+PrinceVen : "You always wanted to use your penis as a billard's cue" |
#62175 (236/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> omg... PDF rules.
<evilAdmin> since everyone figured out the whole blacked out text thing (which is perfectly recoverable)...
<evilAdmin> all of the office is busy putting in hidden quotes and messages at the end of work documents as thick black lines, including upper management and admin (even the CEO is busy quoting 'Gates).
<evilAdmin> Then, coworkers play with the new hires- claiming you can only read it once you print it off. Most of them fall for it, I even saw one guy saying it was a "Magic Eye" sort of thing where the black stripe dissapears and the letters pop out.
<evilAdmin> much to my dismay, his buddy was sitting there cross-eyed with the paper 8cm away from his face.
<evilAdmin> >:) |
#74294 (334/568) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< lucky> Okay.
< lucky> We're going to enter into a pact.
< lucky> I will not use :P again for the rest of the day :P
< lucky> that's 40 minutes for me.
< lucky> :P
< lucky> oh god
* lucky shoots himself. |
#24944 (259/437) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jason666> Heh... Failed English this year. W00t!
<MehBalls> howd you manage that one slick?
<Jason666> Put "Open minds and shallow hearts. Available online: www.goatse.cx June 22, 1995." on my Works Cited for the research paper.
<MehBalls> LOL
<Jason666> Guess he thought it sounded like an interesting artical...
<MehBalls> well... the open part wasnt far fetched... |
#25220 (253/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit |
#28829 (241/405) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Wisdom> For once it would be nice to see a well-adjusted main character.
<Wisdom> Sort of like Professor Xavier. But a werewolf. And not crippled.
<Wisdom> The psychic part would be cool, though.
<Wisdom> A psychic werewolf
<Wisdom> With a shotgun!
<Wisdom> Now that has the makings of the BEST GAME EVER.
*** Wisdom was kicked by Silversong (It's for your own good.) |
#29104 (215/361) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<wfg> at one place I worked, someone had an "rm -fr" in a build script for their software development team...the makefile was set up wrong so that it would start in / and do the rm -fr...and it traversed /net, which was the automounter directory.
<wfg> Blew away 40 servers before the build guy thought to wonder why his make was taking six hours. |
#30413 (259/437) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains. |
#30421 (250/422) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<lav> what the fuck
<lav> i downloaded bowling for columbine from kazaa and it's austin powers with chinese subtitles |
#12572 (329/561) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<g_smackchik> did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<cochese_04> I've got the statistics in on how much I give a shit...the numbers are dangerously low! |
#15663 (193/324) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head
<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way |
#16481 (224/378) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Johnny-5> i just measured my dick and i was like 'yay ten inches' then i realised i was looking at centimeters. life can be so hard sometimes. |
#17361 (215/362) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Thwark): if masturbating improved penis growth, not only would we all *know*, but it would have entire library wings dedicated to the study. |
#19872 (219/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<raz> i'd have to take off the valves, replace the fuel pump
<raz> flush the engine out, take the heads off, order the new lines
<raz> the spring pressure is going to be hard to handle in my garage
<raz> i'm not sure which new fuses i would need, so i'd have to look that up
<raz> besides that, i haven't used a blow torch in a while and not sure which ends to taper off
<guyen> dude it's a fuckin' oil change |
#20524 (325/554) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self |
#21982 (256/436) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
PunkRocks64: we watched Matrix 1 in chemistry today.
PunkRocks64: and you know how Morpheus says the beginning of the end was the creation of AI?
EventuallyAdonis: what about it?
PunkRocks64: he says basically that the what started the machines taking over was human's fascination with AI..
PunkRocks64: and.. have you noticed that like 99% of our population is infatuated with American Idol .........
EventuallyAdonis: that's deep |
#24634 (235/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(punct) fuck off!
(james_) I'll sue you
(punct) for?
(james_) Insulting me
(punct) you dumbass, you can say this shit on irc
(james_) Really?
(punct) hello
(james_) You're a fucking white bitch blow me!
(punct) you're learnin fast
(james_) Thanks |
#26291 (237/401) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rodney> damn mom still on ebay
<territory> lol
<territory> ur selling ur mom? |
#27917 (254/430) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<azathoth> why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a 20 year old computer programmer can provide...
* azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his debugging |
#27935 (220/370) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Name of channel please.
<+[d20]Gau> Clan: Covert Underground Neutralization Team #CUNT
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Sorry but thats an unacceptable channel name.
<+[d20]Gau> ? Is it too short?
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: No its the word "cunt"
<+[d20]Gau> "cunt"? Ohhhh goodness That's another word for a woman's vagina, isn't it
<+[d20]Gau> How about The War Against Terrorism? #twat
<@Phobius> !#twat reg [d20]Gau |
#32949 (240/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* WakkoWrk is trying to figure out what the hell to do tonight
[Monkster] mom son sex?
[WakkoWrk] ahem
[WakkoWrk] fuck off.
[WakkoWrk] mom works tonight anywayComment: #chanfix on EFnet
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#114234 (256/434) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RadGoosed> I read "capslock" as a "cockslap" what does that say about me as a human being |
#141960 (74/122) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Blipo> I'm trying to sell a 1GB DDR-667 RAM chip over Craigslist
<Blipo> So far two people have contacted me thinking I was talking about a mod for the DDR game |
#142213 (214/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Orkie> it was pointed out to me earlier that i don't actually swallow a lot of the time when drinking anything :S
<Orkie> i'd never really noticed it before but even when i just have water i just tip the thing straight down my throat!
<Duo> Orkie: you'll make some man very happy one day. |
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