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#16269 (267/435) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the hospital'
<jasn> im like 'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast' |
#11803 (267/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zammbo> If you have young children, avoid purchasing bleach products bearing pictures of Pikachu drinking the bleach. |
#11481 (267/465) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cave> what does stfu mean??
<nso> shut the fuck up
<cave> sor-ry.. it was a simple question.. no reason to get so mad.. |
#1774 (267/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction |
#308906 (265/417) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
cyborg_ar: to do nothing for a cycle you put nop
MiX: wait, isn't it noop
MiX: like
MiX: no-op
cyborg_ar: yeah but the instruction is written as nop
cyborg_ar: because we programmers lazy
cyborg_ar: so save keystrokes
cyborg_ar: whenever can |
#296029 (266/510) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HyperHacker> ^_^ @
<HyperHacker> ^_^ @
<HyperHacker> >_> @
<HyperHacker> O_O @
<HyperHacker> <_< @
<HyperHacker> <_< @
<HyperHacker> x_x@
<HyperHacker> x_@
<HyperHacker> x@
<HyperHacker> @
<HyperHacker> @
<HyperHacker> @x
<HyperHacker> @¯x
<HyperHacker> @x¯x
<HyperHacker> @ x¯x
<HyperHacker> @ o¯O
<HyperHacker> @ v¯v
<HyperHacker> and that's what happens when you go through a black hole.Comment: irc.badnik.net #smwc
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#295266 (265/477) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shinygerbil> is it basmati, long grain, what
<WolfLord> white!
<WolfLord> white rice!
<daeghnao> There's a zillion kinds of rice.
<WolfLord> white!
<WolfLord> hehe
<shinygerbil> DONT BE SO SUPREMACIST
<WolfLord> THE MASTER RICE |
#154662 (266/558) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tgies> my mom stopped saying that we should shoot all illegal immigrants because she saw a video on the news of a guy jumping a fence and then making the signum crucis
<tgies> that's pretty fucking funny
<tgies> they all deserve to die until such time as we have conclusive mom-reviewed evidence that some of them are catholicComment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org:6660
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#137951 (266/666) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
shawnz> somebody's signature on xkcd forums is "warning: unpleasant spoiler." followed by a spoiler tag
shawnz> so i hit show
shawnz> Spoiler:
shawnz> You just lost the game. |
#67780 (266/478) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
--> Jebus (Jebus@2ee923c5.cpe.net.cable.f33844f1.com.hmsk) has joined #nightgig
<poinko> jebus
<poinko> there's a black car parked in front of my house with a guy sitting in it
<poinko> it's been there for a good 10 minutes
<poinko> WHAT DO I DO
<Jebus> fap
<poinko> that's the best advice i've received all day |
#60446 (266/506) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Celestar> I can't believe this
<Celestar> I'm sitting in front of my screen with a magnifying class an count pixels
<Prof_Frink> 1020..1021..1022..1023! The bastards! |
#59734 (266/466) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
KingFelix: Oh, dear, that's funny. Glad I caught that!
KingFelix: I just created a new account for the Naval Academy on one of our services, & the randomly-generated password came out as "KILLNAVY". had to fix that right quick! |
#59559 (266/476) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@kingrayray> i just vacuum sealed 1lb of tobacco into a brick
<@kingrayray> hahahaha
<@kingrayray> i want to kill someone with it
<@kingrayray> and then be like TOBACCO KILLS |
#51013 (266/460) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Messiah: I've only heard one good dead baby joke
Messiah: And that's 'cause I made it good when someone else tried to tell it to me
Messiah: They said, "Hey, hey hey, how long's a baby last in the microwave?"
Sokar: idk. wanna find out?
Messiah: My response was, "Two minutes, forty-three seconds"
Sokar: haha
Sokar: nice
Messiah: They weren't sure how to respond to that
Messiah: So I invited them over for dinner |
#49707 (266/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lokwade> anyone knows a mathematical function i can use to move a decimal point by 1 to the left??
<lokwade> example 2.03 result = 20.3
<Rewt[w]> just multiply it by 10
<Rewt[w]> 2.03 * 10 = 20.3
<lokwade> eerrr oohh yeah!...dang!Comment: #phphelp
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#49419 (266/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
VinnysMafia: i usually find i can get rid of annoying people by holding up a ball and yelling "go long"
VinnysMafia: I dont know why it works
VinnysMafia: it just does |
#49374 (266/432) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ndonegan> arghh!! Touched a metal shelfing unit here, and a fellow walking past the office actually came in cause he saw the flash from the static shock and my body in close proximity :/
<hostyle> so you flashed some guy walking by your office?
<ndonegan> hostyle: you have a very interesting way of seeing thingsComment: seen on #linux on irc.linux,ie
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#45321 (266/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(%theProject) i have the urge to smack someone in the head right now
(%theProject) some guy was telling me he just noticed that chopin's sonata no. 2 in b-flat minor, the funeral march, sounds remarkably like the imperial march from star wars
(%theProject) well, yes, because that piece was the inspiration for john williams writing the imperial.
(17:28:03) (%theProject) the guy proceeded to shout "OMG CHOPIN RIPPED OFF STAR WARS"
(17:28:14) (%theProject) even though chopin died in EIGHTEEN-FORTY-SEVENComment: #mess.be on irc.trueirc.net
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#35733 (266/472) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<goatasaur> heh, at work today
<goatasaur> i was playing around with outlook's calendar/organizer thing
<goatasaur> and i noticed that you can go, like, hundreds of years into the future
<goatasaur> so on march 1st, 3004, i put "1000th anniversary at cornerstone - a pot luck lunch will be organized in my honor"Comment: #fark
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#34214 (266/428) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rhraz_w3rk> recession? pshh, i haven't seen one hobo yet!
<ESD-Wyrk> that's cause you need to go outside to see one
<ESD-Wyrk> most of them aren't 'online' |
#29029 (266/422) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<manda> you know, to get a degree, you have to think about something other than your dick for more than 5 seconds
<AchtunG`> i know but its hard |
#28993 (266/392) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yamatto> note to self
<Yamatto> shave before leaving hotel tomorrow so as not to scare the little children
<Stikes> taken too many ways :(
* Magus snickers
<Yamatto> my face you bastards
<Yamatto> my face |
#28525 (266/452) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`DE-Throwdown-e-> if anyone knows how to unclog a toilet when there is no plunger available pm me please...hurry their is sh*t on the floor already
* `DE-Throwdown-e- has quit IRC (Excess Flood) |
#27710 (266/444) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<carter> dude..the guy who ate the first egg must have been soo brave..
<carter> he was just standin there one day an hes like dude u know that thing that just fell out of the chickens ass hand me it..i think ill eat it.... |
#19958 (261/498) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kid_Vid2> I WOULD BUY NEVERWINTER NIGHTS BUT IF MY COMPUTER EVEN CATCHES SIGHT OF MORE THAN TWELVE POLYGONS IT STARTS WEEPING AND CAUSES AN ELECTRICAL SHORT WITH ITS TEARS |
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