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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..82838485868788..596Next> |
#307813 (273/331) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Emmy> It's a good thing I've got a nokia.
<+Emmy> I kinda accidentally threw it against a wall >.<
<+Akuma> Emmy: oh shit! is your wall okay?! |
#307376 (273/325) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves |
#303758 (272/366) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Heh, some of our neighbours at Wacken had 30 kilos of dry ice to cool their drinks. It worked after a fashion, but it's difficult to drink whiskey when it's frozen solid.
<Sebas> Of course, my first reaction when they told me was "Hah. Hard liquor." |
#303720 (272/386) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<melvin47> dont you hate it when your printer malfunctions when you need to print something important?
<sourav405> dont you hate it when your pubic hairs get caught in your foreskin, and when you get an erection the force of the expansion pulls on them and makes it feel like your scrotum is being ripped apart?
<melvin47> dude what the FUCK |
#301939 (273/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Krillin|Leach> The only thing that should not be downloaded for free is tax preparation software. I trust my Russian hacker/cracker group friends with a lot, but not my real name, social security number, place of employment, and yearly income figures |
#299613 (273/501) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car |
#294592 (273/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Zigkirby) I mean, could you explain it to me?
(@Polly) I could but I feel I'd be wasting valuable typing energy. I can only type so many characters per day and when I start getting close to the limit i hv to strt lving out lttrs so i dn rn out
(@Jaq) You're having irregular vowel movements
(@Jaq) Perhaps you've caught what I have |
#232500 (273/499) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded me that for most of my life, I thought that all older men had the same smell... and then I realized that the smell is booze. |
#73869 (273/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GuyBridge> My mom wont let me get the wii because she thinks I might use the controller as a vibrator or something
<GuyBridge> >_< |
#70887 (272/494) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Majin_Raiha> like the time my dads friend challenged a brit to drag race
<@Majin_Raiha> he came in his car and the other dude came in a dress |
#60728 (272/488) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(+Oleander) sometimes I go into gay bars just to turn men down
(+Oleander) to boost my self esteem |
#58053 (273/435) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Dodgepot> holy shit..
<+Dodgepot> I have a daughter
<+Dodgepot> bbs |
#55411 (273/461) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ekoms> whats the time?
<yuriks> 16:24
<ekoms> am?
<yuriks> >_> |
#54624 (273/417) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Dizzy: so i was talking to my bro down in his room right
Dizzy: and i look down and see an empty condom wrapper
Dizzy: and he knows i see it
Jak: lol
Dizzy: he goes "i bought them just in case, and i tested one"
Dizzy: what does he mean by "tested"???
Jak: oh god |
#42935 (273/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aeon> you know its going to be a bad day when a lesbian calls you at 2 in the afternoon, thinking she's pregnantComment: #adium on Freenode.
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#40593 (273/417) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@god> i love how google always puts celebrity deaths under the "entertainment" section. |
#34571 (273/455) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> I had indiviual therapy for a while, but I stopped going
<Rjx> she would say "tell me what you're thinking"
<Rjx> and I would be honest
<Rjx> I think it was when I dissected the word "therapist" and got "the rapist" that she thought it wouldn't be beneficial anymore |
#34250 (273/443) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can drive us to air plane thing
XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name
XtBA: oh yea... airport
Jiggy: ....wow
XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station |
#33092 (273/443) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tuxedo_Jack> Apparently, if a cat sits on a keyboard for six seconds, Windows will shut itself down. |
#28353 (273/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pL1> atomic clocks are for wussies... i use the sun to tell the time...
<Blaxthos> sun doesn't sync well
<Blaxthos> with the 8 minute lag and all |
#25223 (273/469) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy. My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest |
#22213 (273/457) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Sinviras: Squeak got himself a g/f
Sinviras: ?
CVYSqueak915: yeah
Sinviras: grats
CVYSqueak915: thanks
Sinviras: what lvl is she?
CVYSqueak915: SHe has no internet
Sinviras: ....
Sinviras: dump her |
#21915 (273/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Major_Tom> anyone know if you can do anything with the USB port on a cable box?
<Major_Tom> I googled, but found nothing
<drwiii> i'm no expert, but maybe you can plug a USB cable into it. |
#21874 (273/405) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>500.000 people watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 players on the field.
<Bismarck>2 referees and the coaches.
<Bismarck>so WHY does the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY HEAD? |
#19541 (273/449) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Samurai> She isn't forcing anyone! she haven't asked them of nothing½!
<enisoc> how the hell do you type a ½ symbol by accident?? |
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