QDB: Top Quotes of All Time
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#60330 (2341/2949) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> ...
<evilAdmin> Never seen that one before.
<evilAdmin> Got back from meeting with a friend, who wanted to show me some $35K Server systems in a datacenter basically underground downtown that he is a part of.
<evilAdmin> During the tour, I'm like "Dude- is that a pizzabox inbetween those 4U servers?", and he's like "Yup. Want some lunch?". Pulls the box out, grabs a slice. I already ate, so I passed.
<evilAdmin> He says that the $20K 8x Opteron boxes generate lots of heat, and thus keep the Pizza warm.
<evilAdmin> I'm like "Don't Oppies have PowerNow or some AMD cooler shit?", and he's like "Yeah, but we run SETI/Prime95 to keep the pizza hot".
<evilAdmin> :\
#296710 (2333/2787) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bapa> Hello beautiful, flawless people of #MOOP.
<godsprophet> sorry, none of those people are here right now
<godsprophet> please leave a message after the long, awkward silence
<Bapa> What makes it awkward?
<sui> i'm naked.
#59780 (2323/3109) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Toba> how can you be decidedly and forcefully indifferent?
<est> I DON'T CARE
Comment: #qc
#60772 (2319/2985) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Vagrant|BRB> I was talking to this girl in my class about this fight she had with her brother.
<Vagrant|BRB> And she said, " I was so mad, I could of just fapped in his face. "
<Vagrant|BRB> I swear, at least five heads -- all guys, I might add -- turned to look at her. She looked confused, like she had no idea what she said.
<Vagrant|BRB> And I'm like, " ... what'd you say? "
<Vagrant|BRB> " Fap. You know. Hit. "
<Vagrant|BRB> All of the guys who turned around to look at her, me included, just sort of tittered and shared guilty glances. To this day, she has no idea why.
Comment: #FurNet
#71690 (2315/2991) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dr_Pressure> eBay feedback score for user "iaintpayinyou": -1
<Dr_Pressure> Two feedback: "Never sent payment after winning bid and promising to send"
<Dr_Pressure> and "Never sent payment after several contacts"
<Dr_Pressure> it's all in the name, people
#95753 (2314/3184) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xkcd> honestly, I'm not entirely sure that I will ever get tired of amusing pictures of cats
#101382 (2293/3005) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Varnthegreat: I have to go pee and then fill an empty Gatorade bottle with Mountain Dew.
xtedheadx: Please please please get confused in the middle of doing that.
#35267 (2284/3140) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<deF> democrats swallow
<TheBrad> well, that's a constructive way to look at politics
<Vampire> deF your not even american
<Vampire> you cant have a opinion
<Vampire> heh
<MECHANIX> yeah hes a fucking swede
<MECHANIX> what do you guys have
<MECHANIX> swedolitics?
<deF> blondes with big breasts
* deF wins *
#90304 (2280/3012) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Jigsy> [10:37:19] <OD_Jonno> even the adults over 18 are soon to be limited to smoking in their houses
<@Jigsy> Unless a burglar breaks in.
<@Jigsy> Then it becomes his workplace.
#141669 (2278/2522) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@Gunrun) Pringles are clever
(@Gunrun) they're like... self regulating
(@Gunrun) if you can't fit your hand into the tube to get more
(@Gunrun) then you probably shouldn't be getting more anyway
#18 (2278/3980) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
#144904 (2279/2599) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<C-Johnson> holy shit
<C-Johnson> 420,000 people without power in miami
* C-Johnson has quit (Read error: Operation timed out)
<phlux> 420,001*
#66436 (2270/3376) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Wax_on_whack_off> men, my roommate had a fierce seizure in the bathtub
<iris23> that's really sad to hear, did you help him? Is he okay now?
<Wax_on_whack_off> he helped me actually
<iris23> ?
<Wax_on_whack_off> I threw in my dirty clothes... they are clean now
<iris23> you utter bastard!!!! that's not funny!!! >:(
#135637 (2268/3218) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Commander_598: Heath Ledger dead.
Kroko: ...what
Kroko: are you serious
Commander_598: Assuming CNN Headline News isn't just making things up.
Latis: No, he's dead.
Kroko: holy crap he is
Baconfish: have they finished making batman yet?
Kroko: yes
Kroko: I think
happydud: imdb lists Batman as in post-production
Baconfish: phew
Latis: awesome. We're safe guys.
#83178 (2243/3561) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"
#32853 (2232/3904) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* `-` (~Blade_Lea@Blade_Leader.support.gamesurge) has joined #i_r_teh_h4x
* ChanServ sets mode: +o `-`
<`-`> I've learn something today
<`-`> ata hard drives are not hot-swappable
<`-`> and don't try to just brush the molex connector against the hard drive's plugs just to see if it does something
<`-`> cause guess what
<`-`> it does
#98 (2223/3862) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers
#197259 (2216/2470) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
datagram: Hey
janelle: im janelles sister, im 16
janelle: she's away
datagram: Well hello there
datagram: Are you young and impressionable?
janelle: she warned me about you already
#30454 (2211/4419) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Sprite): boiled egg?
(Sprite): im a spack cook
(LoneGun): sprite just do in microwave for like 2 mins
(Sprite): on it's own lonegun ?
(LoneGun): aye sprite
(Ched): 2 mins
(Ched): for 650 watt microwave
(Sprite): so a egg, in a bowl, on it's own for 2 mins in a microwave ?
(Sprite): n1 im off to cook
(Sprite): k guys
(Sprite): u guys are cocks
(Sprite): the egg just blow up
Comment: Cooking in #digwar (quakenet) with the unsuspecting sprite. His cullinary skills are now renowned as a result.
#289253 (2139/2375) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@matja> christ that made me jump. just rebooted my pc with new overclock settings and the neighbour fires up a hammer drill the other side of the wall
#294682 (2121/2517) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sniep> my servers are all named after computer parts so that users sound like retards asking for anything
<sniep> "i need full access to ram!"
<sniep> "why is megabytes broken?!?"
<sniep> "who rebooted hard drive??!??"
Comment: SomethingAwful
#149510 (2100/2736) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sambito> 4chan is like your retarded nephew.
<Sambito> When he was little you thought his antics were funny
<Sambito> But now he's 28
<Sambito> And it's just sad.
#100874 (2068/2806) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rasp> i was catering a �tenant appreciation� event in palo alto yesterday
<rasp> we had these slushie machines, but one broke and spilled everywhere
<rasp> so i went to the main office to ask if they had a hose, but the guy tells me,
<rasp> �no, but i see the google guys across the street using a hose sometimes, you can try asking them�
<rasp> turns out this place was right next to one of google�s offices
<rasp> i walked over to the cafeteria area and asked one of the cooks, be he told me they didn't know where it was
<rasp> as i was walking away, i had a little moment to myself...
<rasp> "wow, i just queryed google irl"
<rasp> "lol"
Comment: error 404: hose not found
#102697 (2060/2374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rowan> gonna go to the store when it opens and buy some caffiene/caffeine
<&segosa> caffeine.
<Kotjze> i before e except in a lot of words
<&segosa> or you could just know how to spell words and not require stupid rules
<Kotjze> exactly
<Rowan> i dont think ive spelled that word much
<Rowan> and i keep running into words that ARENT I before E
<Rowan> like weird, atheist, broom
<Kotjze> broom?
#297667 (2045/2283) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Judge-Mental> fuck me
save page | share <Prev1..45678910..594Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,880 quotes approved; 8,691 fermenting; karma: 189.4587