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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..57585960616263..596Next> |
#27806 (329/461) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(@LoTTy): I HATE being a chick
(@LoTTy): i cant get the lid of this jar
(@LoTTy): that i wanna put on my corn chips for nachos
(@LoTTy): i got it
(@LoTTy): I'm STRONG!!!
(@IngeniusSpliffWizard): whats that got to do with you being a chick?
(@IngeniusSpliffWizard): we dont use our penis to open jars |
#13524 (329/530) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TunnelArmr> Cool! I finally found the Womrs 2 demo
<TunnelArmr> I mean Womrs 2
<TunnelArmr> I mean Wrms 2
<TunnelArmr> Worm 2 even
<TunnelArmr> GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!
<ThePython> having trouble saying wrmos Tunnel?
<ThePython> i mean wmros
<ThePython> i mean mrwos
<ThePython> GOD DAMNIT! |
#12572 (329/561) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<g_smackchik> did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
<cochese_04> I've got the statistics in on how much I give a shit...the numbers are dangerously low! |
#3407 (329/518) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<timmo> and it involves a girl named bertha
<timmo> WHO WOULD SUBJECT THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE HORRORS OF THAT NAME
<timmo> 'this is my daughter bertha, she eats villages' |
#60442 (328/548) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Splunge: perfect, mission accomplished
Splunge: I've just modified my CTCP Finger response
Splunge: now, every time someone fingers me, it'll tell them my current Purity score, and then decrement it by 0.2%
Splunge: so the more I get fingered, the less pure I become |
#55369 (328/468) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@shea> WTF
<@shea> i'm subbing for my 'boss' today because he's out
<@shea> and i was doing something for someone else on his computer
<@shea> and i noticed on his desktop there's a quake3 icon
< Tominator> found porn?
<@shea> but it's not called quake3
<@shea> it's called
<@shea> 'Kicking Shea's Ass'
<@shea> :[ |
#48300 (328/510) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tumnus> i just set my clock the easiest way ever
<tumnus> i waited until it was midnight then i plugged it in and left it |
#27889 (328/470) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned. |
#25221 (328/506) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Status> LOL!!
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with cyber strangers, thats for sure |
#22160 (328/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> wow
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> /quit isnt working today
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> weird
* [AK]DarkTeletubbie has quit IRC ([AK]DarkTeletubbie)
* aCs|shutdown has quit IRC
<[TIKI]Your_Mom> i guess they dont know the secrets of the Ctrl button |
#17246 (328/460) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[H]Mephisto_kur_srv_> nArKeD... How flexible is your morality?
<nArKeD> what morals?
<0dan0> that is the right answer |
#281910 (327/573) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Gregabyte_> huh... apparently the mayor of Birmingham has been arrested for corruption
<Gregabyte_> and the city is on the edge of bankruptcy
* brimstone turns on the bat sign
<I-MOD> nice....
<MrWorld> Yeah, Alabama Batman is great. The Bat-truck really hauls ass
<Gregabyte_> his arch nemeses include the Possum, Literacy Man, and the Dentist
<MrWorld> And don't forget Alabama Joker
<MrWorld> he may be just a pig in a bunch of clown makeup, but he's still a formidable opponnent |
#281442 (327/455) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pentavite> you know those cliffs and ledges and etc. that have suicide hotline phones nearby?
<Pentavite> I think the govt should designate them as suicide points, for efficiency
<Pentavite> so people know a good way to kill themselves
<Pentavite> just send someone every now and then to pick up the bodies
<GenericLoser> You'd have to post road signs, too.
<GenericLoser> "Suicide Point -- Dead Ahead." |
#208710 (326/594) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mindjob> im not talking about going to dinner with her and sharing a lovely conversation over tea
<mindjob> i'm talking about banging the living crap out of her
<mindjob> and making her asshole the size of a soup can
<mindjob> and then sending her away
<mindjob> far far away
<zaim> what kind of soup
<mindjob> chicken noodle
<mindjob> of course
<zaim> wise choice |
#171576 (327/561) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CrazyJames> I know how not to cook lobster
<CrazyJames> me mother worked for the gas company
<CrazyJames> on a helphone back in the seventies
<CrazyJames> giving out reciepes
<CrazyJames> booking appointments etc
<CrazyJames> someone called her asking how to get the lobsters to stop tapping on the glass of the oven door |
#33825 (327/487) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tonitrus> My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks. |
#21286 (328/467) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Charles> Well, Smith is a virus now.
<Charles> (Whee irony regarding his 'humans are a virus' thing in the first movie)
<Charles> So I think he wouldn't so much upgrade as mutate, like when he developed the ability to infect people.
<Zereth> I've heard him comapred to a pop-up ad.
<Zereth> Kill one and another dozen show up.
<Zereth> "Mister Anderson, click here for HOT TEEN BUTTFUCKING." |
#20435 (327/474) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tudda> Man you guys are nerds.
<tudda> Im outta here, im going to go watch star wars. |
#15926 (327/478) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie, and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite." Bastards. |
#303746 (326/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<K-ain> i got fired from blizzard
<pub|k> late again?
<K-ain> they dont like their own language used against em
<K-ain> but they said it was because of "poor timekeeping"
<K-ain> i was constantly late
<K-ain> i guess i crossed the line when they rang me to tell me theyre waiting for me to show up for work
<K-ain> i was like, 3 hours late
<K-ain> i was like 'dont worry ill be there'
<K-ain> and they asked me when ill be there
<K-ain> and i just said 'in blizzard terms?.. soon'
<K-ain> they told me not to bother coming in :( |
#160001 (326/716) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[while uploading videos to YouTube]
<urbex> took over two hours?
<myself> yep. Woohoo, comcast?
<myself> well, it failed the first time, got a "connection timed out" after about 80% of it was up...
<myself> so I had to start again, because 1986 called and took their zmodem crash recovery protocol back |
#140978 (326/668) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kittynoy> One day I'd need to explore the part of the room that isn't the couch... |
#117877 (326/452) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<WeirdAl> !seen peterv
<firebot> peterv was last seen 2 weeks, 6 days, 15 hours, 2 minutes and 31 seconds ago, saying '* peterv looks for a place to hide' in #developers
<Wolf> guess he found one.Comment: irc.mozilla.org #developers
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#94993 (326/660) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
LadyNikon: they did this one cake
LadyNikon: that was a lifesize drum set
blind: I bet it sounded terrible. |
#50190 (326/506) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(+Mafi) A friend of mine, earlier, kept nudging me, making my computer run slow
(+Mafi) (Over MSN)
(+Mafi) So I said "Do that one more time, and I'll kill you."
(+Mafi) She did it once more
(+Mafi) I waited 'til she was playing World of Warcraft
(+Mafi) And nudged her, spammed her, and sent voice clips
(+Mafi) ...I killed her ENTIRE GROUPComment: #otf_games on irc.gamesurge.net
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