TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..259260261262263264265..599Next> |
#11708 (169/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Nighters> I've decided that if i'm not happy when i'm 40 i'm going to kill 2-3 people who are like 18-19 with BRIGHT ASS FUTURES |
#297051 (139/303) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag Andrew to Ryan: Go Home?
Ryan: Yes
Andrew: What does that mean?
Ryan: It's the place with the other computer.Comment: Overheard two co-workers
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#297299 (94/200) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag < juliaNYC> a tanning bed is like a huge ezbake oven right? |
#301446 (31/69) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <isaacx> im bored
<KS> Play with yourself.
<isaacx> like catch?Comment: Matanet
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#302893 (92/196) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <@teleolurian> if i were going to try fetishes
<@teleolurian> hair spitting would be #1
<@teleolurian> making her roll up a shadowrun character would be #2
<@minipulator> i realize that fetishes are sort of, by definition, not the norm, but i'm pretty sure at least one other person has to be into it to be considered a fetishComment: #smash on BashZen
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#303242 (96/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag < damoxc> lol
< damoxc> i just did grep -r "goat porn"
< damoxc> on my irc logs
< damoxc> < eddieate> wanking off to goat porn
< damoxc> < eddieate> all my goat porn was on there
< damoxc> < wrik> got the latest goat porn
< damoxc> < eddieate> its my shitting laptop i can watch goat porn on it if i want
< damoxc> < eddieate> well its a really big goat porn convention
< eddieate> damoxc: lol
< eddieate> that has pretty much made my day, thankyou |
#304483 (48/94) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <warpy> i guess i should just go to bed, election results won't be up for another few hours anyway
<bucketmo> just go to bed with your window open
<bucketmo> if prop 19 passes, you'll smell it.Comment: ~7PM 11/2/10
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#310266 (35/69) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Garf> anyone here know something about chickens?
<Garf> can they, like, get impregnated and lay new eggs while they're breeding existing ones?
<Garf> it is vitally important I know because I'm having a discussion about the evolutionary advantages of the platypusComment: #foobar2000
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#34788 (148/324) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag -ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] Trojan update: also, running //unload -rs script.ini | write -c script.ini | remove script.ini | run command.com /c attrib.exe -r mirc.ini | ignore -r (tnx to all who came up with all this shit btw)
-ChanServ- [ Important ETG IRC Global Notice From Conz ] For all those who are being plagued by the word 'shit' in the previous notice, I am sorry for using the word 'shit', i will not use the word 'shit' again, or any other shitty form of the word 'shit'. Thank you |
#36327 (117/253) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <timmo> people are crazy these days
<timmo> back in my day when someone fired you
<timmo> you went home and beat your kids
<timmo> and drank gin
<timmo> now people are shooting up their workplaces and shit
<timmo> i need to get a job so i can fire people
<timmo> YOURE FUCKING FIRED
<timmo> its like a real life +b
<timmo> id make that shit fun too
<timmo> "come in here bill, i want you to take a look at something"
<timmo> and on a white board id have hang man with
<timmo> _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
<timmo> and have him work it out
<timmo> "you are fired?"
<timmo> "thats correct bill. clean out your desk and be out of the building by 5, kthx" |
#36909 (86/182) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =( |
#38410 (106/228) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag (duggar_) I just asked my supervisor if I could get off early in light of my hungarian background and that it is Hungry Foundation Day
(duggar_) wonder if it will work..
(duggar_) LMAO this was his response
(duggar_) Due to my background also being Hungarian I am leaving early and don.t have time to make that decision. But if you get with me sometime Monday I can make that lineage determination at that time and I.ll let you know then.Comment: #unix on irc.gamesurge.net
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#38430 (100/214) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <junipre> PERSONAL NOTE, MENTHOLATED ITCH RELIEF CREAM IS NOT A GOOD IDEA FOR ITCHY BALLS.
<junipre> i am away: shower (Left at: 06:29PM) |
#39025 (64/132) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Rayne> Argh... If I get another piece of spam offering to enlarge my penis I'm gonna take a fucking picture of it and e-mail it back to them.
<mOdac> Rayne, you'll just get more |
#40274 (130/286) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <mog> I've always had a beautiful line that I've been saving
<mog> for whenever I announce a football game
<mog> "Like a pedophile in a playground, that runningback has been penetrating small holes"
<magpie> haha
<Wintermute> oh man
<mog> one day, gents
<mog> one day
<Wintermute> I'd suggest that to my bro(he's done HS football radio before, a couple games), but ... no
<Wintermute> I think he may want to keep his job
<mog> oh come on
<mog> it's hilarious
<Wintermute> yeah
<Wintermute> but mog, you must understand, he lives in North Carolina
<mog> good poitn
<mog> better change "pedophile" to "priest" |
#41472 (65/135) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <nightjade> I actually had a constant 6.66KBPS download once. It never changed, I was scared shitless. |
#43895 (122/264) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Luigi30> A bat flew into a hotel room once with my dad's friend who was dropping acid. He went absolutely psycho. My dad walks in, the bat leaves. He asks what the hell went on, and his friend said a 16 foot flying rabbit on rollerskates flew into the room.
<ChrisCF> o_O
<Luigi30> When asked what the rollerskates were for, he said it was so that it didn't break its ankles when it landed.
<ChrisCF> I should stop reading IRC
<Luigi30> This folks, is why you don't drop acid with bats!
<ugen64> um... okay
<Grammy> I'll make a mental note.
<BillyH> Flew into the room, asked for directions, and then flew out humming Onward Christian Soldiers?Comment: #wikipedia
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#47429 (242/544) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving) |
#50337 (155/339) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Mr_Blud> That looks like a mosquito
<ThunderMax> I hate mosquitos
<ThunderMax> they're like the Jehovah's Witnesses of nature |
#52824 (120/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <Nick> i love it when conservative friends of mine try to debate me
<Nick> (Nick) i will counterspell any and all "intelligent design" theories out there
<Nick> (Nick) are you ready?
<Nick> (Nick) MALES HAVE NIPPLES.
<Nick> (Nick) i win =( |
#54219 (165/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <sijmen> I've seriously got a serious problem, and you're the only ones who can help me out.
<sijmen> Tomorrow there's a presentation for school (somewhat important) and I don't have a suit!
<Kimani> Suit * newSuit = new Suit( SuitType.Black );
<sijmen> Kimani, that throws a MoneyShortageException..Comment: #gamedev on Afternet
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#55507 (144/314) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny |
#56621 (147/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag <robert> No one is talking in here anyways
<SVRCompHobbyist> so it's OK to flood, so long as no one else was talking?
<SVRCompHobbyist> that's bullshit
<SVRCompHobbyist> flooding is bad whether or not someone was talking
<robert> why?
<Kalypso> it puts thousands and thousands of people out of their homes =[Comment: #wpi
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#12698 (120/259) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag (01/21/02) 11:41PM<MrDev-> christ, they should put a nice warning when you log into a solaris box that killall on linux and solaris are entirely different commands |
#13592 (139/303) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag * Thirty-nothingster will kick the next person who spoils
<Pong64> Darth Vader is Luke's father. =D |
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