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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..79808182838485..596Next> |
#32918 (278/462) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<splice> i think its funny that it takes more syllables to say "hello" in japanese than to describe female fart porn |
#25460 (278/472) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!"). |
#20553 (279/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SACS|Maul555> download 5t5ha55t
<SaintDuriel> jeeze whats with your 5 man... if you hit a key close to it does it do a five?
<SACS|Maul555> ive5 been leaving m5y lap5top on 24/7... 5think 5t5ha5ts bad 5fo5r a lap5top?
<Gorin> yes, now fix the your five button
<SACS|Maul555> i 5cant5 i glu5d i5t, bu5t 5th5e glue 5cam5e o5f5f5
<SACS|Maul555> 5yo5u5 don5t unde5rs5tan5d 5the 5 bu5t5ton is missin5g... ho5w i5t 5came ou5t is wha5ts 5causin5g 5the 5p5roblem
<Gorin> uh huh
<SACS|Maul555> 5the sp5r5ing und5e5rne5a5th is b5roken... so 5th5e li5t5tl5e me55chanism k5ee5ps 5tou5chin5g 5the pad
<Gorin> i think you're lying.
<SACS|Maul555> 5can i 5type 5this 5fas5t5 an5d pu5t in5e55r5ro5rs on5 pu5rpos5e?
<SACS|Maul555> pff5t |
#19518 (279/479) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mike|Sleep> Good morning.
<Mike|Sleep> OMG it's 3PM |
#13687 (278/455) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darth-Phenom> But the SNES was only good for its games, much like the PSX
<Pedgey> Well what else you gonna use it for? Making toast?!!?! |
#4351 (278/471) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE. |
#307612 (277/351) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Schrodinger has joined #chat
<Remus> How's your cat, Schrodinger
<Schrodinger> I'm not too sure.
<Schrodinger> I'm afraid to check. |
#299603 (277/387) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cxreg> i'm going to go in to work tomorrow, and tell them that i'm going to fix bugs homeopathically
<cxreg> by inserting a syntax error once every 700 billion lines of code |
#77069 (277/503) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Parable> Just because I fucked a girl twice doesn't mean I'm hetero! ;_;
<Jetta> Parable, thats twice more than a few in here |
#71698 (277/525) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TMH_> does anyone else find that they are in a fuckton of channels
<TMH_> and they only actually care about two or three
<jmx> define a fuckton?
<Thuryn> ten times a buttload
<LPF> that's a metric fucktonComment: #geekissues
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#68324 (277/403) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GoronZ> If I saw a person dress up as an Elf tomorrow I'm gonna shoot them.
<Ragnarok> Yes, I too would be angry seeing the past tense in the future. |
#65016 (277/453) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DogTheBootyHunter> dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitsonofabitch
<DogTheBootyHunter> I just missed the season finales of two of my shows...
<DogTheBootyHunter> lost track of time
<muttonduck> i watched northern exposure religiously, never missed an episode, even when joel left the series. i was watching the FINAL episode with five mins to go when my 3 yr old daughter fellover in the hallway and banged her head. By the time I got back to the TV the show was finished.
<muttonduck> Now my son is my favourite child. |
#60134 (277/439) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
star: if some girl sent you a text (assume that your a boy) and it said
star: "i feel like the cat who ate all the cream"
star: bearing in mind she just had a date
star: what would you think she meant?
Sophi x: i have no idea
star: well let me tell you what i sent back
star: "full of cream? i take it the date went well"
star: now she's calling me a perv :( |
#56407 (277/439) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<thefwf> "Hello. I am very interested in this item and may be able to meet you in person to collect the hair, or possibly shave it off myself? How old are you? Thank you."
<thefwf> That's what I get for selling my chest hair on eBay |
#55863 (276/416) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Crew^> i was so nervous when i had to be checked when i joined the army
< Crew^> then i was asked to leave the army because they thought i was too dangerous
< Crew^> only in canada can you be too dangerous to be in the army |
#51956 (277/449) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<coaster> i wrapped myself in a ton of bubblewrap once and jumped from the 4th floor
<irishlace> no you didn't... LOL
<coaster> yes i did
<irishlace> wtf were you on?
<coaster> well, i was on the 4th floor
<coaster> then the firstComment: irc.lessthanthree.us #<3
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#51310 (277/447) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Aeturnus> i want a tattoo of jesus that has a tattoo of me on his arm |
#50650 (277/397) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
anomaly aww there are birdies nesting right above my window frame
anomaly the mother is starring at me wondering if I'm gonna eat her young
anomaly how cute
anomaly I think I'll get kfc tonight and freak them out |
#49451 (277/427) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kulprits> wats te best way to test if a video card is faulty
<SoundLove> look at the monitor. |
#35966 (277/395) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Murray-Mint> I'm up for Fuedalism
<Murray-Mint> as long as I can be the Lord
<Flirbnic> No way. Me!
<Mort-Hog> In two lines, we've summed up the fundemental problem of feudalism. |
#34422 (277/487) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Montana> Damn
<@Montana> I never knew it was so easy getting rid of annoying people...
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> hey
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> whereare you from
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> from bulgaria?
<@Montana> <Montana> I AM RUSSIA!
<@Montana> <Montana> OLD MAN! 53 YEARS OLD!
<@Montana> <Montana> CYBERSEX?
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> no thanks
<@Montana> <Montana> OK!!!!!!
<@Montana> <Montana> *drink vodka* |
#31822 (276/392) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore |
#31021 (277/415) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Drunken_master> A brief question, please
<nomad> yes?
<nomad> I hope that was brief enough |
#30104 (277/483) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<steve> i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, face down on the bed, and felt as though i would burst.. and a flatulent event erupted forth quickly and silently and lasted for many many seconds
<steve> and i felt deflated..i felt the insides touching together again
<steve> and promptly fell asleep
<steve> my body was giving me a gift with that wakefulness
<adam> hahaha
<Mackay> that's a beautiful way of saying "i farted in bed"Comment: #hatelife
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#29948 (277/397) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Znutar> Sometimes those things seem less like "Peer to peer" and more like "morons to me" |
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