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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..54555657585960..596Next> |
#220552 (336/436) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
redux: oh god, this bug bite is killing me
redux: i am not enjoying my hot chocolate lol
Queue: try pouring it over the bite, Hot Chocolate has a natural compound that extracts the poisons
redux: really? thanks
redux: OH FUCKING GOD THAT BURNS
redux: you fucking bitch, my skin is all red now
***redux is now offline |
#79646 (335/493) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Volte) people in japan want to look like americans
(Volte) nerds in america want to look japanese
(Volte) they should just switch places and they would be all set
(Nudger) japanese people really really like foreigners
(Nudger) they just hate the idea of foreigners being anywhere near them
(Nudger) im going to set up a zoo
(Nudger) nerds can come and watch anime for free and japanese people can interact with them from a safe distanc |
#69953 (335/479) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jon> shit... im sittin here tryin to get info about Tool for my class presentatin, and 40 mins later here i am reading about woody allen, history of fonts, and the temptations of jesus of nazareth
<jon> stupid wikipedia, be less organized! |
#31925 (336/498) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Shloom> OMG
<Shloom> FUCK
<Shloom> I just showed this girl my wang on my webcam
<Shloom> But not only did I hear her giggle
<Shloom> but 2 other girls and a man
<Shloom> D:!
<Shloom> FUCK |
#29125 (336/508) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<auntbunny> meandthespacebarhadanargumentandnowwearenttalking |
#24030 (336/486) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid |
#135 (336/582) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our fucking school
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me |
#28 (336/899) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Deth[EHC]> Chromium: stop masturbating imma be home any minute :P
*** Deth[EHC] has quit IRC (Leaving)
<reptile-> Actually, that's a secret code for Chromium to get ready for the ass reaming of his life. |
#302444 (335/679) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nil> If you have a problem and think to yourself... "I can solve that with a regular expresion!" Now you have two problems. |
#301013 (334/538) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@pheedbaQ> proffalken: bust is unimportant, so long as they have a vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> I disagree.
< FearTheBeaker> You have to stare at teh bust more often than the vag.
<@pheedbaQ> I thinkyou mean "get to" not "have to"
< proffalken> or "compelled to by forces beyond your control"
<@pheedbaQ> And be that as it may, I can stare at women's breasts all day. But at the end of the day, I'm geting into
far fewer vaginas than breasts I'm staring at. Hell, by definition I'm getting no more than half as many
vag's as breasts I'm looking at.
<@pheedbaQ> Therefore, the breast is a relatively abundant resource, while the vag is a scarce and precious commodity.
< proffalken> like diamonds vs. uranium
<@pheedbaQ> Exactly
< FearTheBeaker> eh, sometimes you get depleted uranium.
< proffalken> better than cubic zirconium
< FearTheBeaker> that sounds painful.
<@pheedbaQ> diamonds are nice to look at, but when it comes right down to it, it's just a bunch of carbon that has
been crushed together. While uranium is harder to find, self-depletes, and it's dangerous to handle both
the source of the uranium, and the uranium itself.
<@pheedbaQ> Just like vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> in that case, use protection. |
#296974 (335/465) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Raisin> Here's what I learned from Lifetime TV
<Raisin> Never go jogging or you'll get raped |
#281474 (335/431) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Loser> what will happen when I tell my parents I'm bi>
<GaidinBDJ> You mother looks at your father and says "You owe me $100"Comment: #fark
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#166066 (335/379) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jolt_Rogue> Long, tech explanation,
<Jolt_Rogue> or short simple one?
<Star_Ringer> medium, layman's terms one for someone who sort of knows what you're talking about but not intimately as you
<Jolt_Rogue> So, I'm explaining sex to someone who's seen a lot of porn. Gotcha. |
#73997 (335/557) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand |
#57564 (335/549) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> so if pantera would be considered too heavy for you might as well go put on some hawthorne heights and go cut slits in your arm while you cry about the boy that dumped you
<splice> that is beautiful.
<splice> slight point deduction for letting on that you know an emo band name
<BlackDeth> invalidated by the fact that you obviously know it too |
#28685 (335/487) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming? |
#28665 (335/491) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<NinJA_JG> afk 2 mins, bathroom
<NinJA_JG> IM A LILLE FAGOT WHO LIKES TO SUCK DICK AND SWALLOW CUM!!!1
<NinJA_JG> IM A LILLE FAGOT WHO LIKES TO SUCK DICK AND SWALLOW CUM!!!1
<NinJA_JG> IM A LILLE FAGOT WHO LIKES TO SUCK DICK AND SWALLOW CUM!!!1
<NinJA_JG> back
<NinJA_JG> afk 2 mins, killing lille brother |
#1964 (335/467) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house? |
#303566 (334/584) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
lollz> And what did babys drink before people discovered cows?
Aeon> they drank there moms milk
lollz> Yeh but where did they get the milk
Aeon> omg
CoJaBo> ...
CoJaBo> !wp breast feeding
AmiBot> Breastfeeding is the feeding of an infant or young child with milk from a woman's breasts.
lollz> wtf milk comes from boobs?
CoJaBo> LOL
Aeon> wow u srsly didnt kno that?
lollz> EWW! MILk comes from cow boobs!Comment: Milk Day, 2008
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#251308 (334/576) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Buck> if you got like thousands of chameleons together
<Buck> could you use them as a monitor? |
#74294 (334/568) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< lucky> Okay.
< lucky> We're going to enter into a pact.
< lucky> I will not use :P again for the rest of the day :P
< lucky> that's 40 minutes for me.
< lucky> :P
< lucky> oh god
* lucky shoots himself. |
#63089 (334/480) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Surt> i learned an important lesson tonight
<Surt> never tell a woman you love her while staring her square in the breasts
<Surt> bad times follow |
#58125 (334/462) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
DavidMM says, "Next question... do I want to devote the next half hour to writing a Wikipedia article on fruit peel just to satisfy my own sense of injustice that there isn't one?"
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Are you a botanist or in some other way an expert on plant matter?
DavidMM [to Matt_D]: No, but I like eating things with fruit peel in them..
Matt_D [to DavidMM]: Then you are the perfect person to write the Wikipedia article on the subject. |
#51034 (334/464) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass |
#50319 (333/449) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
mrkemak71: Kens "Avoiding Marital Discord" tip of the day :
mrkemak71: when discussing the price of a pound of shrimp...
mrkemak71: Do NOT figure out how much your wife is worht in shrimp, and then tell her |
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