<Psychlone> God is my favourite fictional character
<MegaHurts> Played by Alannis Morrissette?
<GaidinBDJ> She's in good company playing God.
<GaidinBDJ> George Burns
<GaidinBDJ> Morgan Freeman
<MegaHurts> Stemcell researchers
<MorbidAngel> so my parents just made me watch 2 girls 1 cup.
<Valtieri> MA: I'm sorry?
<MorbidAngel> you dont wanna know -_-
<Valtieri> I know about 2g1c, but... they made you... what?
<nach> Re-enact it with his mother
<MorbidAngel> watch it
<MorbidAngel> You suck :/
<Valtieri> They *made* you watch it? Like, "Hey Matt, come sit down, see this"?
<MorbidAngel> pretty much
<MorbidAngel> they showed me some reactions first
<MorbidAngel> i was like "oh fuck, this is gunna suck"
<MorbidAngel> I just laughed the hole time, my dad was gagging XD
<Valtieri> ...what the FUCK?
<Valtieri> Why would they *want* you to watch that? And why would THEY?
<MorbidAngel> to see my reaction
<MorbidAngel> i guess
<MorbidAngel> lol
<Valtieri> MA, your parents are awesome.
<nach> MA, was it the first time you watched it?
<MorbidAngel> yeah
<MorbidAngel> for some reason i was just like "O.o..uh..you two are FUCKED"
<@|silicon> awesome customer of the day
<@|silicon> got a T1 point-to-point from us
<@|silicon> which you know would require 2 T1 routers
<@|silicon> so he goes to Fry's and gets two linksys 54gs
<@|silicon> no less than 3 people had to explain to him
<@|silicon> that will not work
<@|silicon> THEY ARE ROUTERS WHY NOT?!
<@|silicon> incredible irrational anger
<@|silicon> wow
<@|silicon> he seriously called SBC
<@|silicon> and they told him it would not work
<@|silicon> then he believed us
<%Zac378> yo, you guys still playing xbox?
<@tet> I got off but I'll go back on if you want to play
<@tet> wait you have halo 3 right?
<%Zac378> nope, I got xbox pajama pants...not an xbox 360 for xmas -.-
<@tet> that's like giving an Ethiopian a picture of food
<%Zac378> lmao
<@Rjx_> the hairiest guy I know is turkish
<@Rjx_> he shaved his stomach one day and found out he had a six-pack
<@Rjx_> and was really happy
<Catdaemon`> what does * do
<Ortzinator> everything
<Englishbob> "We need to incorporate everything fun, great and functional about the 21st century"
<Englishbob> "This, my friends, is a USB rocket glitter lamp"
[carbine] People should be forced to talk like manpages
[carbine] Straight to the point, and with an example to clarify.
[carbine] Especially women
[carbine] I guess that's why they're not called womanpages though
[mjt] LOL
[carbine] If I were to type "woman irssi" instead of "man irssi" I'd get something like, "This thingy lets you talk to people. Speaking of which I talked to Lindsay today and she's such a bitch! She kept going on and on..." and eventually your computer would lock up because that command is basically an infinite loop.
[jedimstr] "No manual entry for woman"
[carbine] I bet I could find a manual entry on a woman...
<@malphas> I got stuck with the same prof for this linux course
<@malphas> as the last one
<@malphas> the same one who, halfway through the course, just stopped responding altogether so he could focus on his off-hours mailing list.
<@malphas> The first assignment:
<@malphas> Scenario:
<@malphas> The new CIO just transferred over from the finance department and during your first meeting says "My golf buddy was telling me about something called a seven layer model. Maybe we should get some of them for our network, What do you think?" You politly explain that the model is not a product and you will send a memo explaining what it is.
<@malphas> I'm *sorely* tempted to write mine from the perspective of a true Admin. Someone who realizes the opportunity presented here to obtain new hardware for future use.
FurtherThan: sis,
FurtherThan: rickrolling is dead.
FurtherThan: i'm sorry, the macy's parade killed the shit out of it
s37: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FurtherThan: a good meme's time is just it's time
FurtherThan: and it was rickrolling's time
FurtherThan: i know, it's hard
FurtherThan: but you just got to let it go
FurtherThan: until 4chan comes up with something else equally ridiculous
s37: no!
s37: rick aistley, I promise you,
s37: I'm never gonna give you up
FurtherThan: i'm never gonna let you down
s37: never gonna run around
s37: or desert you
FurtherThan: *sniff*
<+Nosleepo> polititians are using some kind of reversed alchemy...turns everything from gold, to shit
<sniep> my servers are all named after computer parts so that users sound like retards asking for anything
<sniep> "i need full access to ram!"
<sniep> "why is megabytes broken?!?"
<sniep> "who rebooted hard drive??!??"
(ail) DESCRIBE HER LABIA
(Iridium) Meaty
(ail) like a ham hock
(Iridium) Like the inglorious results of an apprentice butcher's first time with the saw.
(Char-) you have a way with words
<drac> I was in a public restroom today and the box that contains the toilet paper rolls has a side that can't be seen until you're sitting down
<drac> so I wrote "I pissed all over the toilet seat" on there
<U235> it always bothers me when i'm filling my bottle of water and the pressure drops because someone flushed a toilet
<U235> in the back of my mind, I just can't stop thinking that that water I was about to drink instead washed someone's poop away.
<@isosceles> im at the pharmacy
<@isosceles> getting sleeping pills for my wife
<@isosceles> and then i realize: i need to get vaseline (for chapped skin/oil pastel) and baby wipes (for makeup removal)
<@isosceles> but then i stopped, after realizing how horrible that would look at the register
(@Zigkirby) I mean, could you explain it to me?
(@Polly) I could but I feel I'd be wasting valuable typing energy. I can only type so many characters per day and when I start getting close to the limit i hv to strt lving out lttrs so i dn rn out
(@Jaq) You're having irregular vowel movements
(@Jaq) Perhaps you've caught what I have
<sereni> Protip: If you're in elementary school, and you're reading Euclid's Elements of Geometry, do NOT leave your geometric proofs in plain sight of ANYONE.
<sereni> *teachers marauds over to my seat, notices me writing furiously things that are not the required coursework, looks at pile of papers sitting besides me*
<sereni> "...What does 'A cuts B' mean? What is this about lines and meeting places? What are these diagrams for...?"
<sereni> You see, geometry is a pure science, and it also uses a lot of unambiguous terms. As such, a proof could be applicable in any context.
<sereni> I happened to be sent to the principals office as it seemed my innocent proof could be misread to mean that I was not only going to meet up with another kid, but stab him with a knife, doing so in a very precise way, at angles of approach ranging from 20 to 180 degrees, while moving about in various circular paths.
(@Fantasy) I blame that evil midget in rehab
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in thr balls
(@Fantasy) and he was perfect height
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) than on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(@Fantasy) crying
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets
<nqfud> the local supermarket has an almost completely deaf cashier with a poor quality hearing aid, so she just guesses what you are saying
<nqfud> I said "you walk like your vagina lips are swollen" and she decided to tell me how her christmas day went
<&qqhax> guys guys
<&qqhax> this is fucking epic right now
<&qqhax> so, my comcast cable box wasn't working
<&qqhax> so i went into the diagnostic menu to play with the frequencies
<&qqhax> and found the menu that lets you enable the dvr even thought i'm not paying for it
<&qqhax> so anyway
<&qqhax> i enable the dvr and reboot the box
<&qqhax> then go to the dvr menu
<&qqhax> comcast gave me a used box
<&qqhax> that has 120gb
<&qqhax> 64% of it is ppv porn.
Hoopy: hey, how was your holidays? Get anything good?
Psmylie: Couple of gift cards. you?
Hoopy: watch
Psmylie: ok, I'm watching...
*10 minutes pass*
Psmylie: I see you gave that lame joke all the attention it deserved. Well done.
Hoopy: My client crashed. What did you say?
< _judas_> i'm told i look a bit like tom cruise under certain lighting conditions and from the back
< frayed> from the back?
<MurderMachine> So did I ever tell you the story of how my parents met?
<DryBones> Nope.
<MurderMachine> Well, there are two versions I guess.
<DryBones> How?
<MurderMachine> The story my Mum tells is: A group of idiots pushed her over while ice skating and my Dad heroically went over and helped her up.
<MurderMachine> The story my Dad tells is: He paid a group of idiots to go push her over so he could go heroically help her up.
<DryBones> ROFL
<MurderMachine> I have been paid not to tell her.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I once had a girl get so sloshed that she hit on me.
<%First_Mate_Drak> And by 'hit on me'.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I mean 'picked up a chair and tried to hit me because she thought I was a pinata.'
<%First_Mate_Drak> That was a weird halloween.
<%First_Mate_Drak> In her defense.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I was dressed as a pinata. >.>