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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..44454647484950..596Next> |
#305607 (521/623) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(fahadsadah) BT Openreach engineers are issued a booklet, entitled "Get it right first time"
(fahadsadah) Telling them how annoying faults are.
(fahadsadah) The current one says, on the front, "Get it right first time, Second Edition". |
#305454 (162/284) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Elleo> based on current estimates all IPv4 addresses will have been allocated by March
<@Elleo> afterwhich we'll find ourselves living in a dystopian future where motorcycle gangs roam the streets killing people for their IPs so their mobile phones can get on the internet
<@Elleo> someone should make a film out of that
<@Elleo> Mad WiMax |
#305381 (264/360) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dragonshadow> Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know. |
#305349 (224/336) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tsietisin> D: is the unhappiest hard drive I have. |
#305221 (741/893) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sdmkun> tar -xzf merc.tgz what the fuck
<sdmkun> how the fuck do you people remember this shit
<bucketmouse> just think with a german accent
<bucketmouse> XTRACT ZE FILES |
#305043 (371/469) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samurai___> they actually met in a parking lot
<samurai___> get this
<samurai___> jon is skateboarding with his friends when he sees eric walking out of walmart wearing a neck beard and a linux shirt
<samurai___> so he yells "wassup richard stallman!"
<samurai___> causing eric to stop and do a double-take because he COULDN'T have just heard a skater brat reference an expert programmer
<samurai___> now they're best friends |
#304973 (111/197) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Think_Differentl> fuck, you'd think at xmas people would actually seed their torrents well |
#304899 (396/482) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dd7> i think newegg forgot to put my item in the package
<dd7> all they sent was packing peanuts
<dd7> i'm not exactly upset; they're fun to play with and stuff
<dd7> but i sure could have used that hard drive |
#304893 (170/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Grif> guys since when did Hello Kitty have a boyfriend
<Unknonymous> Grif, since when do straight men pay attention to Hello Kitty.
<Dritz> Unknonymous: since it's on a cute girl's underwear, is when |
#304777 (350/450) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<coxy> Benoit B. Mandelbrot died
<coxy> what did the B. stand for?
<coxy> Benoit B. Mandelbrot
<spartan> thank god he wasn't murdered...
<spartan> would have taken forever to draw the chalk outline |
#304474 (315/373) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Fingers> soooooo
<@Fingers> anyone else familiar with the Xerox Phaser 8200/8400 printers?
<@Fingers> specifically the ink blocks they use?
<@Fingers> you know, the ones that are basically big blocks of colored wax, kind of like crayons?
<Genesys> neat
<@Fingers> now, I say "kind of like" because obviously, they ARE NOT crayons
<Genesys> aww
<@Fingers> however
<@Fingers> it appears that distinction was lost on one of my coworkers
<@Fingers> who decided that the best course of action when the yellow ink sticks ran low was NOT to order replacements
<@Fingers> but instead, to jam a shit-ton of yellow Crayolas into the yellow feed slot
<Genesys> you are kidding, right?
<@Fingers> no
<@Fingers> I am not
<@Fingers> at least she removed the paper wrapper first
<@Fingers> "well, they're both just colored wax, right?"
<@Fingers> sure
<@Fingers> and gasoline and diesel are just petroleum products, either should work fine
<@Fingers> I'm trying to remove the ink feed assembly to see if I can chisel this nasty crayon mess out of the printer
<@Fingers> FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuComment: Fingers works in education. These people are teaching your children!
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#304344 (450/530) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Foone> my oatmeal is impressive
<Foone> it has separate instructions for making oatmeal with 1 packet or with 2 packets
<Foone> if you want to make it with 1 packet, you pour into a bowl and add 1/2 cup of hot water and stir
<mathrick> hahah, what?
<Foone> if you want to make it with 2 packets, you pour into a bowl and add 1 cup of hot water and stir
<Foone> I THINK I COULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE SECOND ONE ON MY OWN
<mathrick> no twist ending?
<Foone> NOPE
<Foone> they don't provide instructions for making it with 3 packets, though
<Foone> but they provide a number to call with questions
<mathrick> DO IT |
#303922 (265/349) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nyvelion> Check this out, I finally made a cool script that bans anyone who mentions loli around here.
=-= Mode #amarriner.com +b Nyvelion!*jm@c-160-110.hsd1.fl.comcast.net by Nyvelion
=-= Nyvelion was booted from #amarriner.com by Nyvelion (Auto-Ban. No Stupid loli talk here.) |
#303898 (331/401) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AndrewBC> My favorite password is "incorrect"
<AndrewBC> that way when I get it wrong, they remind me
<AndrewBC> "Your password is incorrect" |
#303847 (799/859) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Artifice> the cat experiment was a counter example created by heisenberg himself, to prove some guys were being stupid
<Artifice> Sadly, the stupid guys were "That's awesome!"
<Artifice> Oh, it was Schrodinger. Whoops
<ZorbaTHut> heisenberg's cat is the one that's either running frantically around a room at unknown velocity, or sleeping, somewhere, but you don't know where.
<Artifice> So, just a regular fucking cat
<ZorbaTHut> Yeah pretty much. |
#303746 (326/406) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<K-ain> i got fired from blizzard
<pub|k> late again?
<K-ain> they dont like their own language used against em
<K-ain> but they said it was because of "poor timekeeping"
<K-ain> i was constantly late
<K-ain> i guess i crossed the line when they rang me to tell me theyre waiting for me to show up for work
<K-ain> i was like, 3 hours late
<K-ain> i was like 'dont worry ill be there'
<K-ain> and they asked me when ill be there
<K-ain> and i just said 'in blizzard terms?.. soon'
<K-ain> they told me not to bother coming in :( |
#303685 (136/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@esch> I'm going to go as a philosophical zombie for halloween this year
<@p_g_p> MIIIIIIINDS |
#302583 (120/172) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Xaviors_Mommy> okay trying to get used to being a new mom
<+loopy> oh congrats Xaviors_Mommy
<+Xaviors_Mommy> thanks
<+Xaviors_Mommy> hes 3 weeks yesterday
<+loopy> is yours a boy or a girl
<+Xaviors_Mommy> boy
<+loopy> wuts his name
<+Xaviors_Mommy> xavior
<+lost> **sigh**
* loopy facepalm
<+lost> lol |
#302356 (130/176) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY |
#305379 (169/359) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<guest_71> nick\ totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick/ totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick/totallyhopeless
<guest_71> nick\totallyhopeless
<guest_71> why isnt the nickname changer working?Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.com
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#305147 (300/424) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> So.
<MurderMachine> My rectal went something like this:
<MurderMachine> "Tell me when it feels uncomfortable"
<MurderMachine> "Dr Donaldson I'm lying on a bed pointing my ass at a relative stranger. It's already less comfortable than I'd like." |
#305331 (21/823) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@swight> I walked by someone's office a few minutes ago
<@swight> her name was
<@swight> Anita Doody
<@swight> sounds like a kid asking to go to the bathroom
<@swight> I saw it, said it twice in my head, and barely made it out to the hall before cracking up
<@swight> I'm such a child :)
<@Rjx> hahah
<@Rjx> I'm keeping that one to use as a fake nameComment: #geekissues@efnet
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#305330 (1513/1671) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hadley> PONY WANNA SEE MY DICK
<Pony> no, hadley. I am strictly in the vagina business
<Hadley> Pony: you should consider expanding your market! i have some brochures about the penis market, if you'd like
<Pony> why have more penis if you already have one yourself
<Pony> it's like buying a second iphone. it's pointless and not usefull
<Hadley> Pony: like the iphone, a penis lacks multitasking, which is where investing in multiples comes in handy
<Pony> then it's still overkill, hadley. the second one should be an ipad or ipod in that case
<Hadley> Pony: so... if i get the analogy correctly... you're only interested in a penis if it's twice as big as your current one?
<Pony> yes
<Hadley> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU |
#305325 (0/352) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+jbeez> everytime my wife asks about moving I tell it the destination better have fios or its not happening
<+jbeez> she gets mad, then gets over it, and we stay hereComment: #FreeBSD
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#305324 (495/655) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pomax> 20 years from now, someone is going to have the radical idea to give users access to the underlying OS, rather than to the browser API, and he will be heralded a revolutionary.
<Pomax> All manner of programming languages will pop up that work outside "the browser", giving access to "offline" applications, storing files in "user space", even perhaps running in something called "kernel mode".
<Pomax> It'll be a brave new world.
<Mirell> It's scary that's believable. |
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