<st0rmb0x> I had an ass cannon moment
<Ka1enov> LOL
<st0rmb0x> You know when you're on the shitter and you just fart but you don't realise you shat 12 feet of shit in half a second
<Ka1enov> yeah man
<Ka1enov> and then when you wipe
<Ka1enov> theres nothing
<Ka1enov> youre are like what the fuck
<st0rmb0x> lol, yeah man, these things are deadly, what if you were to shit down a balcony, i bet you'd be able to break car windshields
<st0rmb0x> Or snipe someone with a turd
<Ka1enov> and walk away with no evidence
<st0rmb0x> The police are like, what the fuck, there's shit everywhere and that guy has a hole in the head
<Ka1enov> and your ass is clean!
<Jesus> it gets worse as they get mobile.
<Jesus> I'm pretty convinced that's why most families are smaller: children have gotten better at cockblocking.
<pjustice> there's evolution for you
<Jesus> it's darwinian, after all -- if they can successfully prevent other procreation by their parents, they get a larger piece of the pie.
<Jesus> my 4-year old can now climb the stairs silently.
<paul> holy shit
<paul> nooooooooooo
<Jesus> I tend to wake up as he's running, silently, full bore at my side of the bed.
* Jesus nods
<Jesus> thankfully, the doors still shut.
<paul> they figure doorknobs out too, right?
<paul> they're like little velociraptors
<paul> CLEVER BOY
<frysteev> im wondering what weekend at bernies would have been like if jim henson made it
* B-Rad feels special
<CaptainAwesome> nice job
<CaptainAwesome> chatzilla sucks, though
<B-Rad> I appreciate the obligatory diss on <program I use>
<Havoc> Fax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kilpqiM_To
<Symphony> [YouTube]: Title: US Pole Dance Finals 2009 Championship Highlights | By: lastdon6585 (uploaded on October 19, 2009) | Duration: 2mins 54secs | Views: 2,689 | Rating: 5.0 (5 ratings)
<Havoc> Clicketh
<Fax> seen it
<Fax> is that one where the chick falls off?
<Havoc> I'm offended nobody informed me of such an event.
<Havoc> No lol
<Fax> maybe that's the blooper tape
<Fax> one chick climbs all the way up to the top of the pole
<Fax> then does the upside-down spread eagle thing
<Fax> and slips
<Havoc> Ouch
<Fax> she, like, dislocated her shoulder
<Fax> it was about as painful to watch as those videos of idiot skateboarders sterilizing themselves by repeatedly mashing their nutsacks into bannisters
<Fax> that is to say, wince-inducing but still lol-worthy
<Havoc> Darwin's theory at its finest.
James: i just suggested to evan that we stand up a VM in our vSphere infrastructure running MS-DOS 6.22
James: copy a few select files to it
James: and create this as autoexec.bat:
James: c:\doom\doom.exe
James: DOOM in vsphere. win.
Jordan: hahahaha
Jordan: cloud computing doom?
James: exactly
Jordan: I knew this is exactly what university server admins do with their time
<dampeoples> you need to put 4GB of memory in the mini I'm going to send you p3
<pthree> you can't upgrade the ram?
<dampeoples> it required taking it apart past the cover
<pthree> i'm sure you can. if you can take a bra off without looking, you can upgrade some ram
<dampeoples> I have to look at the bra, all my bitches are big tittied, so it takes some precision work
<pthree> dampeoples: you're too polite, the rest of us just call them fat
* ChanServ has changed the topic to: <dampeoples> I have to look at the bra, all my bitches are big tittied, so it takes some precision work
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt
<Elmnt80> My 9 year old cousin spent a year trying to get me to let her suck my dick
<skudmunky> the op to peon ratio sucks
<skudmunky> we need more peons
*** Rusty sets mode -o on skudmunky
< unrealun1verse> i sometimes wonder if theres some disease that makes you want to do your mum jokes all the time
< fbstj> whatever it is, he probably caught it off your mum :P
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER!
Vasir: there was an evil dick staring at me all day
Mel: O_O WTF.. um are you okay?
Vasir: yeah i'm fine. it was starring me down through the windows all day though. i'm pretty sure it had malicious intent
Mel: Are you okay?
Vasir: yes.
*10 minutes or so pass*
Vasir: you know Mel, we never talk much anymore...
Mel: I know, but Vasir, why are you talking about dicks?
Vasir: I'm not?
Vasir: OH FUCK. I meant DUCK! AN EVIL DUCK WAS STARRING AT ME! NOT AN EVIL DICK!
hulasikali.wala: k time to try flashing the zaurus
ressedue: arent you supposed to be on a honeymoon? :p
<Goose> Say alpha-Kenny-body out loud.
<Demii> GENIUS.
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
<tgies> http://qdb.us/101461
<tgies> if you did this irl a multitude of sunglasses would fucking appear on your face and fall all over the place in just a big heap
<tgies> and you would get a fucking special driver's license that entitles you to free chicken wings at any DMV office and the secret menu at arby's
<flamingspinach2> PlaceAtPC common_glasses_01 500
<G-Flex> no
<tgies> no
<G-Flex> don't
<G-Flex> spawnmass hkhangingpig 150
<flamingspinach2> what's that, deus ex?
<G-Flex> yeah
<G-Flex> yours was morrowind, right?
<flamingspinach2> yeah
<tgies> you guys are fucking nerds
< arke> not even my computer loves me
< Antonio8> is it a dual core ? maybe it has a split personality
<bofh> how did little endian come about anyway?
<tgies> ok you know about the original sin right
<bofh> like big endian seems fairly obvious as it's how we typically read numbers, and it was also used by the TCP/IP spec
<bofh> as in the trig function?
<tgies> no the biblical original sin
<tgies> god showed up
<tgies> and he was like
<tgies> ok, since you guys are dillholes and dont know how to fucking listen
<tgies> from now on you have to work for your food
<tgies> childbirth will be painful
<tgies> and you'll have to work with this fucking stupid god damn system for representing numbers where the least significant byte comes first
<@heels> i wanna be a hooker
<Doomstalk> heels: You're already a whore in your own way
<Cuzza> heels: you're already a whore
<Cuzza> ^5 Doomstalk
<Doomstalk> ^5 Cuzza
<Cuzza> ...
<Cuzza> GET OUT OF MY HEAD
<Doomstalk> GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHARLES
<Cuzza> WHAT THE FUCK MAN
<erin> Dammit, Windows! I KNOW the program is not responding. That's why I'm trying to close it.
<Mio> shinji I AM YOUR FATHER
<Mio> AND MOTHER
<shinji> Go fuck yourself
<shinji> Oh wait
<fahadsadah> I-ripped-my-spacebar-out-of-my-keyboard
<fahadsadah> and-can't-figure-out-how-to-put-it-back-in
<Aaron> Tier-1/2 DNS provider based in Canada, 10 minute TTL on your A records (fast global propagation on changes)
<Sebas> Words in that sentence I understood: Provider, Canada, minute.
<flack> global
<Sebas> Don't overestimate my linguistic aptitude.
<Stewart> One of my mates is trying to quit nicotine lozenges... by smoking