Mike: this morning i had speech class, there was a talent show for extra credit
Mike: at the end the teacher got up and said he'd like to show us one of his talents
Mike: asked for a couple of volunteers
Mike: "i used to practice ju jitsu..."
Mike: he then proceeded to put a student in a choke hold
<dd7> i took a survey of physics undergrads once asking their reaction to suddenly understanding relativity
<dd7> answers were pretty typical: "whoa", "awesome", "thats amazing"
<dd7> one guy apparently pissed himself and went the whole class without realizing it
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead
<Mango> Duck.
<Mango> s/D/F/
<chanbot> Mango meant: (Censored).
* chanbot was kicked from #depot by chanbot: No swearing.
<Mango> :D
<ryan22> have you guys looked into getting a bug tracker. i recommend github or launchpad
<terinjokes> Bug #1 Unable to kick ryan22 [Status: Open] [Priority: Low]
<ryan22> heh
<BHSPitMonkey> Bug #1 status has changed: Assigned to Kaatje
* Kaatje has kicked ryan22 from #iphonelinux-dev (Kaatje)
<Kaatje> Bug #1 status has changed: Completed
sunny_mousey: you are on your way to alcohol poisoning town.
SudoJones: do hety have laoiqikcer store ther
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt
<+TakeOne> O..o I love the way you can select a date of birth that's later than april 2010.
<+TakeOne> Yes, I'm submitting an application to McDonald's before I'm born because I know how futile my life is going to be.
<+Xaviors_Mommy> okay trying to get used to being a new mom
<+loopy> oh congrats Xaviors_Mommy
<+Xaviors_Mommy> thanks
<+Xaviors_Mommy> hes 3 weeks yesterday
<+loopy> is yours a boy or a girl
<+Xaviors_Mommy> boy
<+loopy> wuts his name
<+Xaviors_Mommy> xavior
<+lost> **sigh**
* loopy facepalm
<+lost> lol
<Carlambor> when I was in primary school in handcraft classes, I said to my teacher "Will i get an A if I carve your portrait out of wood with a knife?" and he said "it's forbidden to make pictures of god"
< shortcircuit> So there's an anime channel I hang out in, with a bot named toobparts. Toobparts is little more than a multi-stage chatbot that will try various means of saying something pseudorelevant to ambient discussion. (Markov is its last-ditch effort.)
< shortcircuit> Somehow, one of the newbies is convinced toobparts is not a bot, and knows where to download anime. Hilarity ensues.
< shortcircuit> I don't know if toober is passing the turing test, or if the newbie is failing it.
<sshinji> I've discovered that explaining hexadecimal across the table is a very efficient way to lose your date.
<Apophis> Somalian radio stations have banned certain songs
<Apophis> my first thought upon learning this was, 'they'll still be played on pirate radio'
<Apophis> then I punched myself
Allen: if anything, I'll have to wait until after I file my income tax
Lindsay: ...............................................................
Lindsay: you do realize that all due by thursday, right? lol.
Allen: yeah, I'm thinking of filing on Wednesday
Lindsay: lol
Allen: probably Thursday morning, but Thursday evening isn't outside of the realm of possibility
Lindsay: you are the epitome of lazy
Allen: no, I am the epitome of procrast
< Glayde|w> i remember telling a friend 'you have to register your nickname'
< Glayde|w> the next day he tells me how he registered mirc
<@Rjx> find out if she wants to bang, then bang her
<@Rjx> that should've been moses's commandments
<Trillkott> I've been screwed alot in life, but to only have 6 episodes of season 2 of Southland has to be the worst ever to be honest...
<@eFinger> yeah, im thinking kids living in Rwanda
<@eFinger> are thinking the same
Mark: Wtf
Mark: Ive been here an hour and a half and still haven't done anything
Mark: I'm waiting for my boss to tell me to do something
Mark: but hes too busy pirating movies from my hard drive.
<nil> If you have a problem and think to yourself... "I can solve that with a regular expresion!" Now you have two problems.
Vasir: What's tuberculosis?
Psi: A lung disease
Vasir: Ohh, I thought it was an std
Psi: lol, no, it's transferred by coughing, sneezing, stuff like that
Vasir: I thought its when your dick is clogged
Psi: ...
Vasir: ...
Vasir: Is there a disease fitting that description?
Psi: God, I hope not...
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don�t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."
<DOZ> they're doing heat jokes man
<DOZ> that's not cool
<LS> I have absolute zero tolerance for those
<Umm> Sorry, had to eject a stoner from the house
<Umm> Fuckhead managed to bust a door, though
<Navier> ...?
<Umm> Claimed to be "fixing" a door that was broken into being closed
<Umm> He managed to break it into being open
<Einar> why was there a stoner IN your house?
<Umm> I don't know
<Einar> You should call the police
<Einar> Real life is not video games. Having strange people wander in, dig through your stuff, and attempting to solve door-opening puzzles does not indicate they're saving the world.
<fahadsadah> But these are 300/350/400V
<fahadsadah> I have enough to kill someone here
<fahadsadah> And I need to hurry with the soldering
<fahadsadah> April Fools is tomorrow
<fahadsadah> Note to self: do not code when tired
<fahadsadah> Guess what was in my code?
<fahadsadah> Rather than #!/usr/bin/ruby at the top
<fahadsadah> print "#!/usr/bin/ruby\n"