Mew: "what do you do with a dead chemist?" "BARIUM!"
Mew: k im done failing
bryan: lol thats a tin on my scale
Mew: I do not know how to react to this
<narwhal> foolproof way to get a woman's bra off in under 10 seconds: set said bra on fire
<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker.
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape
<KP9000> wheelchairs are awesome when you're not crippled
<@CylonCenturion> seriously fuck wasps and their enjoyment of wood products
<@blue> this is why we invented steel
<@blue> welcome to modern life
PokerFace: 12++ = 7503840
XoNiC: unlikely.
PokerFace: thats what the instrument says
PokerFace: only happens when compiled for sh3
PokerFace: its fine in x86
XoNiC: That's what sh3 said.
<CrazyRussian> I just finished Leisure Suit Larry 1 (again)
<CrazyRussian> It's amazing how much easier this game is when you speak English
<MisfortuneCooki> so i had this group meeting
<MisfortuneCooki> where several groups had to make a model of some new building that serves a purpose on campus
<MisfortuneCooki> my group built a stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> a hexagonal stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> and we named it the sexagon
<MisfortuneCooki> and we WON
<Rjx> who are you talking to?
<DigDug> your mom
<Rjx> she's asleep I think
<Rjx> you're wasting your time
<DigDug> oh damn
<DigDug> tell her i said hello
<DigDug> i had a really good time last night
<DigDug> and i'm really sorry about that thing with the flowers
<DigDug> i hope we can hang out again soon sometime
<DigDug> i promise i'm usually not that on edge, i was just really nervous about seeing her
<Rjx> she says she loves you, but she's not in love with you
[21:09:49] <Charbile> something tells me we won't see aethereal for months
[21:13:17] * Aethereal has joined
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
<@carlsson> Today is the birthday of the IBM PC and the Berlin wall!
<@carlsson> I wonder which one has caused most grief and suffering.
<pheand> she asks me about jehova witnessing and i told her i was jewish; she goes, "it's okay, I'm lebanese!!" with all the zeal in the world spouting from her
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
<maxson> honestly
<maxson> it's weird because
<maxson> normally, i'd get to know her better before asking her out
<Leaff> you're asking for relationship advice froma 12 year old?
<Leaff> oh
<Leaff> ok
<maxson> the only way i'm going to get to know her better is by asking her out
<maxson> so it's like a dilemma
<maxson> also yes
<maxson> irl this would be creepy
<Leaff> yup
<Leaff> irl me hanging out with you would be creepy
<maxson> yup
<Leaff> irl a lot of things that people do on the internet would be creepy
<maxson> like talk to people while looking at porn
<Leaff> exactly
<maxson> "hey james how's it going"
<maxson> "HRRNG oh fine URRRGH you?"
<Leaff> "are you fapping"
<Leaff> "LOL NOPE NOT AT ALL"
<Leaff> "DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WOULD SUGGEST THAT"
<maxson> "did you piss your pants"
<maxson> "you're in the ballpark"
<Leaff> i think we should end this part of the conversation right now
<Leaff> before it gets
* Leaff sunglasses
<maxson> out of hand?
<Leaff> out of haFUCK YOU
<myself> white castle has toroidal chicken
<myself> Cheerios for breakfast, chicken rings and a bagel for lunch
<myself> pineapple and calamari for dinner, donut for dessert
<myself> a well-rounded diet
<@Timmeh> aw man, Lucian Freud died
<crikes> 88 is very old for an artist
<@Digga> unspecified illness
<@Digga> WE ALL KNOW HE SLIPPED
<@Malice> Did I tell you Velox is back home?
<+ark0n> no way sweet
<@Malice> After five years in the deserts of the Middle East, our mother thought he'd want to relax.
<@Malice> So she took him to the beach.
<Guen> My comp is dying
<cshake> it clearly needs mouth to mouth
<Guen> It's beyond that
<cshake> ass to mouth?
<@Silly> i'm sat wanking with pron on my 50"tv right, doors closed and everything
<@Silly> right as im finishing up my housemate barges in, no fucking knocking or anything
<@Silly> i dont have time to hide my boner AND close the porn
<+Altruit> so which one did you hide?
<@Silly> so i throw my remote at him, altf4 and slam the keyboard on my dick
<@Silly> end result is that im very sore and ive got spunk all over my keybaord
<@Silly> and he still caught me
<@Matthew> had a weird dream last night, some doctors told me that my spine was fucked
<@Matthew> first they were very helpful promising to get it fixed, then they found out i didn't have private health insurance
< ulber> the american dream
<@Malice> I found my friend Crista crying in the bathroom at work today.
<@Malice> I asked her what was wrong and she told me one of the new guys told her that he bets she sucks in bed.
<@Malice> Then she told me she was crying because she felt like a whore because it festered in her mind so long she wants to sleep with him just to prove him wrong.
<+ark0n> i think i just found my new pickup line
< omegacfx> in russia the age of consent is 100 dollars