panjohnl: Bad joke time! So Helium walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
panjohnl: Helium doesn't react.
panRJK: you know what I say to that?
panRJK: He He He
thoriumchameleon: !seen goldfinch
Sploosh: goldfinch was last seen in #LFS-support at Fri Dec 24, 2010 [04:45] GMT saying 'guys i heard a scream from down the road but im shitting bricks what do i do'
<Grievre> I just realized this was the best way to describe it
<Grievre> San francisco looks like a city designed by dr seuss
<Grievre> all the hills
<Grievre> houses are all pastel colors and different shapes
<Grievre> everyone wears weird outfits all the time
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
< Ifrit> In a way I find it insulting
< Ifrit> If someone doesn't take the time to write full words while conversing with me, I find it disrespectful
< Ifrit> and respect them less
< Wabbit98> wtf
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed
<+sutol> I'm in a library so I can't look at porn, and for some reason I'd really like to look at porn atm.
<+sutol> Now I just need a way to fap without anyone noticing
<+sutol> Hard, considering I'm in the front row and shit is pretty open
<@Loskene> can anyone else see your computer screen right now
<+sutol> yes
<+sutol> Everyone behind me can
<@Loskene> .f HEY THIS GUY IS HAVING A WANK
<@DEA> _ _ _______ __ _____ _ _ ___ ____
<@DEA> | | | | ____\ \ / / |_ _| | | |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | |_| | _| \ V / | | | |_| || |\___ \
<@DEA> | _ | |___ | | | | | _ || | ___) |
<@DEA> |_| |_|_____| |_| |_| |_| |_|___|____/
<@DEA> ____ _ ___ __ ___ ____
<@DEA> / ___| | | \ \ / / |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | | _| | | |\ V / | |\___ \
<@DEA> | |_| | |_| | | | | | ___) |
<@DEA> \____|\___/ |_| |___|____/
<@DEA> _ _ ___ _____ _ _ ____ _
<@DEA> | | | | / \ \ / /_ _| \ | |/ ___| / \
<@DEA> | |_| | / _ \ \ / / | || \| | | _ / _ \
<@DEA> | _ |/ ___ \ V / | || |\ | |_| | / ___ \
<@DEA> |_| |_/_/ \_\_/ |___|_| \_|\____| /_/ \_\
<@DEA> __ ___ _ _ _ __
<@DEA> \ \ / / \ | \ | | |/ /
<@DEA> \ \ /\ / / _ \ | \| | ' /
<@DEA> \ V V / ___ \| |\ | . \
<@DEA> \_/\_/_/ \_\_| \_|_|\_\
<+sutol> rude
<@Profane> my right hand aches
<@Profane> from using the touchpad for hours
<@Profane> >:(
<@Profane> stupid fiddly powerpoint
<@Riocaz> Yea "touchpad"...
<+goat> "powerpoint"
<ttvd> these msvc error messages are so Zen
<ttvd> it's like a freaking koan, you get it, then you ponder on it for like forever
<ttvd> and then the answer is completely something else, totally not related
<+wklyver> man, you ever get something to work, but you aren't quite sure how
<+Cuntism> i made my gf cum once
<+Cuntism> does that count
<+BigEndian> Perl is like a freak fapping in the park
<+BigEndian> from afar you wonder what the hell it's doing
<+BigEndian> but when you get close you wish you never inspected it further
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
(duckaroosky) so the whole time you were talking about minecraft for the couple of months i've been here
(duckaroosky) i always thought you were talking about that game on your computer where you guess where the mines are
(duckaroosky) and you have to clear it out
(duckaroosky) i just facepalmed when i realized it's not
<Joh> The worst part of life:
<Joh> That time between being able to drive the little cars at legoland and being able to drive real cars.
<@tacodog> was reading off recipes to my wife and she just made me a bloody mary xD
<@pyna> maybe youre accidentally husbanding as root
<Lolth> Apparently at some point the city designer got a fetish of one-way streets, and unless you know your way around, you're in for a big surprise...
<Crazy-Cabal> How do you have a fetish for roadways? I mean I even accept jet planes getting it on but...
<Midwoka> Roads have curves...
<Midwoka> ...Though, depending on your sexuality, you might be put off by the man-holes...
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds
<bucketmouse> you heard about her birthday right
<stef> no
<bucketmouse> he didn't mention it at all so she asked a mutual friend of theirs
<bucketmouse> the dude tipped her of that he was talking about throwing her a portal themed birthday party
<bucketmouse> so she gets overly excited/hopeful thinking it's going to be romantic or something
<stef> portal isn't romantic though
<bucketmouse> so on the day of she wakes up, he's at work, she walks into the kitchen
<stef> this is going to be terrible isnt it
<bucketmouse> on the counter there's a cheap dollar-store helium balloon, a joint, and a box of debbie crocker cake mix
<bucketmouse> and a scrap of paper reading: 'u will be baked then there will be cake'
<LowBatteryLife> Vengines.
<LowBatteryLife> A car that runs on anger.
Jello_Raptor converts RebeccaRGB to a more print frindly color system
=-= RebeccaRGB is now known as RebeccaCMYK
<Erik> I feel like I've found the holy grail of feline ownership, or something.
<Erik> My cat actually knows the correct course of action to take when I say ``shut the fuck up''.
Murphy: I noticed something this morning. when we were at the funeral home, before they brought him out to the hearse, they said a prayer
Murphy: the our father
Murphy: and apparently, when you have about 40-50 people mumbling the our father
Murphy: it sounds exactly like Frank's voice from Donnie Darko
<Dr_Pressure> Q: How can you tell if somebody owns an Apple product?
<Dr_Pressure> A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
<enemaman> i want to compile a book containing all of the food-related sex acts on urbandictionary
<Kufat> title: "Read This Book and You Will Never Eat or Fuck Again"
<Bunsen> Imagine a twinkie represents the normal amount of Murphy's Law activity at a nuclear power plant.
<Bunsen> Based on the current situation at Fukushima No. 1, their Twinkie is about thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.