QDB: Top Quotes of All Time
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..589590591592593594Next>
#310784 (-53/77) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xena> just make sure to reduce your wildly using of things just because they are cool
<Xena> a filter like that will get you far
#310733 (-55/99) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<poofs> unlike other therapists, she is smart enough to know that you cannot take the UPS approach to therapy and handle fragile items by throwing them down the stairs
#200688 (-59/109) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DoctorPhileasFragg> So how about people making penises in Spore?
<mrbobjoe> It won't work, you're a freak
<GenericLoser> Then Spore can't truly claim to have user-generated content.
<Helmholz> Everyone's buying the game so they can make penises.
#304239 (-60/214) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bananobot> It crashed AGAIN
<Bananobot> I thought the whole point of Java's freaking annoying over-verbosity was so it could detect errors before deployment or at least before crashing
<Bananobot> It's like, "Yay, everything's working fine, Cap'n! Smooth sailing! Lalala ABANDON SHIP!"
#172905 (-62/164) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AgentRenegade> i think im gonna love my new highschool class^^
<AgentRenegade> during a lecture a boy suddenly stood up and yelled "Its 13:37, its 1337 time!!"
#308419 (-62/132) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kelso> I try my best to avoid myself.
#301367 (-65/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RangerRick> OK, really people.  The hitler subtitle mashups are just not funny anymore.  I don't care how funny you think it is, the 30th variant is just not amusing.  You're too late, find a new meme!
<@bbraun> so, you're the hitler of hitler subtitle mashups?
<RangerRick> I think it's fair to say that the meme was pre-Godwin'd.
<chandler> yeah, but is there a hitler subtitle mashup making fun of hitler subtitle mashups making fun of hitler subtitle mashups yet?
<chandler> if not, then insufficient metairony
<gh1> recursive self-Godwinism?
<gh1> people could be hurt...
<dre^> we call that hitlerecursion, aka SIGHEIL
#300490 (-68/170) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Palantyre> If a lycanthrope becomes a merchant, will he be known as a warewolf?
<Ce`Nedra> *grins* yes
<Palantyre> Okay, just checking ;P
#310126 (-69/173) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<schuko> i've had my share with C working with embedded software
<schuko> it's like star wars
<schuko> you shave off a few bytes and then there's a new hope
<schuko> then you run the test suite and the empire strikes back
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#301421 (-76/164) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CinMax> had angiogram, nothing is blocked. they just do not know....
<CinMax> they had to shave my nuts :(
<Von_Ruff> So you still don't know anything, but your balls are hairless now?  I'd say a definite decline since we last talked.
#302029 (-76/222) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<celti> Fuck, my cigarette burnt down to my toes.
<jules> don't you mean fingers?
<celti> No, I mean toes. I was smoking with my toes so I didn't get ash in the keyboard.
<jules> WTF
#300804 (-80/334) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<superlou> What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
<Kage_Jittai> superlou: what?
<superlou> Viola burns longer
<generic> Moon_Doggy: Wow
-*- Moon_Doggy prepares sniper rifle
-*- Moon_Doggy takes careful aim at the stage superlou stands on
-*- generic gives the signal
-*- superlou bends over to pick up glass of water.
-*- Moon_Doggy aims at superlou
-*- superlou stands up
-*- generic readies the signal
-*- superlou uses teleport
<Moon_Doggy> damn
<generic> D:
#310729 (-81/135) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< wushin> I'm freaking out.
< MadCamel> Why?
< wushin> I accidentally sold a theater to my neighborhood and they are buying it.
#304182 (-82/204) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Erasmus> So advertising homeopathy is now illegal?
<@Erasmus> Or other quacky things.
<@Sebas> "Buy my ducks!"
* @Sebas gets arrested
#302518 (-84/114) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Allen: if anything, I'll have to wait until after I file my income tax
Lindsay: ...............................................................
Lindsay: you do realize that all due by thursday, right? lol.
Allen: yeah, I'm thinking of filing on Wednesday
Lindsay: lol
Allen: probably Thursday morning, but Thursday evening isn't outside of the realm of possibility
Lindsay: you are the epitome of lazy
Allen: no, I am the epitome of procrast
#311453 (-86/96) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Talgie> I think at -50 votes, the comment gets removed... YES THAT MEANS YOU BASH
#299672 (-87/247) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right
#300943 (-90/444) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Party> I have a furry magazine, one I keep just for them
<Party> .223
#306380 (-90/230) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kingsly> my tampon feels weird
<Cassy> You're a girl?
<kingsly> no
<kingsly> wait are those things only for girls??
Comment: #mugglenet on irc.mugglenet.com
#303236 (-91/233) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jkalex05> my grandma jogs with me
<jkalex05> and she runs ubuntu
<jkalex05> ftw
<jkalex05> she says windows are for carebears
<jkalex05> that made me lol
#311534 (-91/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GargajCNS> so i was looking at my VR headset and realized
<GargajCNS> my parents always told me not to sit close to the TV, and now in 2017 i'm literally jamming TVs into my eyes
#311345 (-92/188) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< o11c> Is there any portable function to convert an integer to a string in a signal handler? `s[n]prinf` is *not* on the list of async-signal-safe functions ...
< izabera> there is but you're not gonna like it
< izabera> write is safe, fork is safe, execve is safe
Comment: od -t d4
#309822 (-92/160) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< wushin> I just think client-facing it's like slapping someone in the face with a paper bag full of poo
< Fother> How so?
< wushin> idk, I just use graphic analogies
#297656 (-92/222) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Carly: Hmm... I was wondering what that sound was... and why my leg was getting wet
#308652 (-93/273) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> I need to animate something
<Tarkaan> not for sexual purposes
<Tarkaan> what software do I use?
Comment: #geekissues
save page | share <Prev1..589590591592593594Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,853 quotes approved; 8,708 fermenting; karma: 189.5229