<QBeep> Reminds me of one of my fevorite moments...
<QBeep> I've just finished changing a tire that went flat on the way to delivering a pizza. I'm covered in mud, grease, and black tire grime.
<QBeep> My right hand is bleeding, my face is smudged.
<chillin_work> attractive
<QBeep> I'm standing on this customer's porch, with a pizza that was ordered from the Pizza Hut web site. The customer opens the door, and what falls out of my mouth is,
<QBeep> "Hi, ma'am, I'm from the Internet"...
Zipper: wtf
Zipper: i'm too fuckin tired to be legally allowed to be awake
Zipper: i just pressed Windows+L to logoff
Zipper: and upon seeing the logon screen
Zipper: i typed my password to log back in.
Zipper: why?
Zipper: i have no fucking clue...
Mango: I still haven't fixed my speakers and I wanted to watch a movie.
Mango: So I set the sound card to record from output,
Mango: used a softphone program to call my VoIP phone,
Mango: and had it play the movie to me over the phone.
Mango: God, I love being a geek :)
PID1|work: So Mango, you can truthfully say you have a hot actress on the phone just now?
<@Rjx> my uncle used to tell me that there were 3 rings of marriage
<@Rjx> the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering
<Yuri> parents were fighting, went into the bedroom
<Tw1lk1tr1> make up sex
<Yuri> and i'm assuming they fell asleep since this was 40 minutes ago
<Yuri> no
<Yuri> NO
<EnderGT> When I was a kid I went with my dad to his job in facilities for a large company
<EnderGT> They had a bank of diesel-powered generators in their basement - huge 24-cylinder beasts
<EnderGT> On this trip there happened to be a 20 gallon bottle (think old water-cooler bottle) sitting on the floor with about 6 inches of diesel fuel in the bottom
<EnderGT> I inquired as to whether this was a safety hazard - and then watched as a co-worker deliberately struck a match and dropped it in the bottle
<EnderGT> The match fell to the liquid and was extinguished
<EnderGT> As a slightly older youth I attempted to repeat this experiment - only this time with a) a plastic container, b) gasoline, and c) outside on the driveway.
<EnderGT> I think my eyebrows grew back within a week or two
<CtrlAltDestroy> Alright, so I was working at Steak n Shake today
<CtrlAltDestroy> There was this new girl
<CtrlAltDestroy> For her break, she wanted a chili 5-way
<CtrlAltDestroy> So we told her to make it herself cuz we were busy
<CtrlAltDestroy> So she goes to make it
<CtrlAltDestroy> And like most n00bs do at least once, she mistook the barbecue sauce for the spaghetti sauce
<CtrlAltDestroy> So she poured barbecue sauce on her 5-way.
<CtrlAltDestroy> I was sitting next to her when she started to eat it...
<CtrlAltDestroy> When she took a bite, she screamed
<CtrlAltDestroy> "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK, BARBEQUE?"
<%Zac378> yo, you guys still playing xbox?
<@tet> I got off but I'll go back on if you want to play
<@tet> wait you have halo 3 right?
<%Zac378> nope, I got xbox pajama pants...not an xbox 360 for xmas -.-
<@tet> that's like giving an Ethiopian a picture of food
<%Zac378> lmao
<Vesper> msg NickServ IDENTIFY batcock
<StarShade> ...
<StarShade> I am going to assume that was intentional.
<StarShade> ANd that your password isn't really batcock.
@[BONFIRE] just got the best question ever
@[BONFIRE] by some n00b
@[BONFIRE] whos trying to install an old printer
@[BONFIRE] like 15 yo
@[BONFIRE] he doesnt know why it wont work
@[BONFIRE] it keep poping up with "new hardware found"
@[BONFIRE] and he clicks cancel
@[BONFIRE] cause its not new
@[BONFIRE] >_<
<xkcd> Guy in line: English should be the national language, these immigrants should have to learn English when they come here.
<xkcd> Girl in line: Yeah
<xkcd> Guy: When you go to live somewhere, you learn the language they speak there. English is the language of the land.
<xkcd> Sarah Mac: (from behind in line) Excuse me, but -- osio sarah dawado.
<xkcd> Guy: What the hell was that?
<xkcd> Sarah: Cherokee.
syberghos : Wives are like video games; they're lots of fun to play with, but it's all over once you beat them.
<@toastydea> dear lord, i have to have "the talk" with my mom
<@toastydea> about why we can't be friends on facebook
<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
<grent>
<grent>
<grent>
<hitenmaster> You don't say.
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> more facial hair talk: tom
<SpaceGeostrategy> Tom's facial hair is basically the reverse Hitler
<@strifeheart> my head nearly exploded when I saw his beard for the first time
<SpaceGeostrategy> he has facial hair everywhere Hitler didn't
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> whats he doing these days
<SpaceGeostrategy> perhaps he is creating 6 million Jews
<ZALOAWAY> .
<ie|Stacks> good point
*Dravas has quit IRC
<Caprisun> im gonna take a video of me fucking that girl he likes
<PS31791> O_O
<PS31791> that would suck
<PS31791> if i saw that
<PS31791> id be like
*Takumi has joined #main
<PS31791> from now on im gonna be gay
<PS31791> ...
<PS31791> Takumi... i can explain...
<Caprisun> XD
Me: we finally got Rock Band
Paul: then why are you talking to me?
Me: my pinky is sore
Paul: heh heh...out of context FTW
Me: and my wife hurt her throat on Bon Jovi
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"
<Ace_NoOne> I now believe that the Wikipedia folk assassinate people so they can be the first to report their deaths
<Goemon> you know how they have the /whois command, they should have a /whowas command to see who people were after they quit.
<Spidey> they do, goemon
<Goemon> damn.
<Goemon> my mom must have dropped
<Goemon> me
<sniep> my servers are all named after computer parts so that users sound like retards asking for anything
<sniep> "i need full access to ram!"
<sniep> "why is megabytes broken?!?"
<sniep> "who rebooted hard drive??!??"
<illkid> can someone help me? i am wanting to use a model in the game, but my model is called pipe.mdl, and the game is looking for pipe2.mdl
<illkid> how can i get it to load the pipe.mdl?
<illkid> are there any renaming applications out there for renaming files? so i can change the pipe.mdl to pipe2.mdl?
<Ez3ki41> did you try jsut renaming hte pipe model to pipe2.mdl
<Khanate> lool
<illkid> i would like to, but where can i find a program to do that?
<Khanate> windows
<illkid> can i get that on kazaa?
<Khanate> ...
<illkid> ok, i found a "windows95" i am going to install that and see if it works..
<Sh1mms> ????
<Sh1mms> wtf
<||bass> omg
<||bass> best pictonary game ever
<||bass> I was playing with lenina
<||bass> first she chokes herself and pretends to die
<||bass> then
<||bass> she gives me a handjob and points at my dick
<||bass> you know what i was supposed to guess?
<||bass> "Die Hard"