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#26311 (315/419) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt" |
#24166 (380/514) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
dergrue: what's the name of that program that gives you a random meal to eat when you can't pick something?
barry: 'mom' |
#25391 (429/587) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip? |
#26314 (307/459) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason |
#26310 (259/393) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM. |
#26308 (294/472) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
TheOffspring326: no they're not!
TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other tomatoes, thats all! |
#20657 (209/353) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xyrnx> when people write 'there' instead of 'their' it fucking annoys me and i wanna rip their throat out
<xyrnx> but i guess each and his own
<eckesicle> xyrnx: you've got a point their.
<nocturnal> xyrnx: why so mad about there grammar |
#21616 (221/379) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[20:10] * Aery has joined #online
[20:10] <Aery> boobs boobs boobs
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] <Aery> boobs
[20:10] <Trax> .
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] * Aery has left #online
[20:10] <Treen> She had an entire night's conversation in under a minute. |
#24206 (208/358) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ganja> weed is good
<xooz98> that opinion sounds strangely biased |
#20211 (231/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cat_gurrrl> I'm not a common street hooker! I am a self employed roadside massage therapist! |
#26327 (202/358) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DigDug> deth needs to get in touch with his inner child
<BlackDeth> i tried touching my inner child and he threatened to bring statuatory rape charges against me |
#20473 (212/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tps-> dude
<tps-> they used nmap in the matrix
<tps-> HEH
<tps-> im serious
<_static_> hah
<tps-> in the new movie
<tps-> lol
<tps-> it shows a shot of a linux terminal
<tps-> and a sh shell
<tps-> and it shows nmap running
<tps-> and 1 port was found
<_static_> surprised keanu could figure that stuff out
<tps-> i was like HOLY CRAP THATS NMAP
<tps-> and my friends just stared at me
<tps-> it was trinity
<_static_> probably had to have a stunt computer user |
#26306 (184/362) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves |
#20485 (163/339) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cspan> I wonder what IRC was like before the internet |
#25314 (145/309) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[logic1] hmm even though it does state "freakcock" in the url i think this might be a cute picture of a little kitty.. let me take a look |
#25599 (138/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[8:39pm]«+ w2o » Are you religious?
[8:40pm]«@ Dwarf» no Christian |
#26313 (129/289) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave
<MidoriKid> Nope. I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation |
#20496 (131/298) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<illiterat> I'm gonna install linux on my laptop. it comes with XP home, but XP's going to be homeless soon as UPS delivers it. |
#20445 (120/271) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #Arleah on irc.alterdreams.net
<Fehr> BY THE GODS
<Fehr> it IS up!
<Bigom> it's up
<Fehr> see you in there..
<Dom> Fehr and Biggom have just discovered viagra. |
#20447 (137/317) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lav> my brothers are drag-racing the tractor |
#26326 (127/295) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thumbtack> fucking fathers day
<thumbtack> THANKS DAD FOR CREATING ME, I LOVE WORKING ALL THE FUCKING TIME and LIFE IS SO PRECIOUSComment: #lost
|
#25206 (145/343) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon? |
#20470 (93/217) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Optimus> i've said it before and i'll say it again
<Optimus> rogue is easily the hottest in x-men 2
<Pyr0Maniac> Yeah... but you wouldn't be able to have sex
<Pyr0Maniac> You'd get the life force sucked out of you
<Optimus> they need to invent some kind of full-body condom
<Pyr0Maniac> Man, it's called saran wrap. |
#20515 (139/337) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<keith_escalade> If you were a guy, I'd call you Richard Whiskey (Dick Liquor for short).
<Samantha> Shut the hell up |
#26328 (144/356) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tfg> What's the vatican?
<tfg> Is it a resturant or something? |
#26319 (107/261) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<maff> you know you're too much of a pothead when you stop getting weed jokes |
#20456 (127/314) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Subject: New Matrix movie]
<corin> or maybe ill sneak in and if they ask for a ticket ill say there is no ticket |
#20230 (117/288) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kingmob> i wonder how bad the irritating dork contingent at the matrix is gonna be
<kingmob> and i wonder to what extent i am one
<kingmob> i suppose the best i can hope for is no sysadmins dressed as trinity |
#20253 (102/252) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(syanide): whats a hacking master?
(DownKaos-): syanide: it's one of those guys who drinks a lot of red bull and jerks off to animated porn in his star trek suit |
#20471 (97/242) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ccmods> for what I'm creating, I'll need a length of duct tape, an avacado, and a tube sock.
<Ccmods> believe it or not, u can make a bong outta that
<Sean> i thought it was some sort of wanking implement |
#20238 (101/254) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** {OK}oOShogoOo has joined #dransik
<{OK}oOShogoOo> :))))))))))))))))
<Gets> Why the long face? |
#25374 (129/327) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Demonhunter> so.. i may be losing my cable modem soon.. who knows
<Idle_Timmy> man, that sucks.
<Idle_Timmy> maybe you need a mike's hard lemonade.
<Demonhunter> i need a liter of jaggermeister
<Demonhunter> and alzadie
<Idle_Timmy> tell me a hooker couldn't help.
<Demonhunter> depends on the hooker
<Idle Timmy> a hooker with dsl in her hotel room
<Demonhunter> ohh...
<Demonhunter> now i could use that
<Demonhunter> i would be downloading so much porn with her dsl connection...
<Idle_Timmy> "What kind of 'bandwidth' do you get, if you know what i mean"
<Demonhunter> hehe
<Idle_Timmy> "Depends on your 'hardware', sugar" ;o
<Idle_Timmy> "So where can i 'plug it in'?"
<Idle_Timmy> "oooohh, you bring the 'modem', big boy, and i'll give you an 'outlet'"
<Idle_Timmy> "oh yeah, baby, I got your modem RIGHT HERE"
<Idle_Timmy> *pulls a laptop out of his trenchcoat*
<Demonhunter> lmao...
<Idle_Timmy> "now let's see if my 'router' is compatible with your 'hub' and we can get some 'peer to peer' action going" |
#20221 (122/317) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RatingsQ> WHOA I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE
<RatingsQ> d00d what if you had this dude, typing on IRC...
<RatingsQ> but if he falls below 55 words per minute, dalnet explodes? |
#20502 (127/390) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Riku> One time, there was an American, an Irishmen (I think), and a Polish guy who just robbed a bank and were hiding out in a barn.
<Riku> But then they heard the cops come, so the american hid behind a cow, the irish guy hid behind a pig, and the polish guy hid behind a sack of potatoes
<Riku> So when the cops came in, they shined the flashlight on the cow
<Riku> so the american guy went "moooo"
<Riku> then they shined it on the pig, and the irish guy when "oink oink"
<Riku> Then, they shined it on the sack of potatoes
<Riku> And the polish guy went, "Potato" |
#25330 (74/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and worship was so thin. |
#26324 (81/245) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tito> they should have a band called Stool
<tito> and their promotional people could be called "Stool Pushers" |
#20459 (76/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<deathazre> somebody stole twish's vanilla cock
<deathazre> er, coke
<deathazre> ^_^
<TheOrgasmicMe> mmm vanilla cock
<whatboy> maybe it was missy elliot
<whatboy> o.O
<TheOrgasmicMe> if cock tasted like vanilla i would be gay |
#20268 (75/290) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Torn> WHAT ABOUT WE CHANGE TOPIC, BECAUSE I DON'T GET WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT
<Bloodshedder> torn's feeble mind cannot understand what we are saying
<ph`> I agree with torn |
#20266 (56/212) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[2:19pm]«@ bobmudd» i'll trade my g/f for your hd
[2:19pm] <SPLIT> hmmm
[2:19pm]«@ cdawg» heh i will trade mine for a rock...... |
#20276 (52/235) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ^sWift licks Christina
* Christina has quit IRC (Quit: )
<^sWift> Whoa..
<^sWift> the lick of death
<Digitalis> damnit....gotta quit licking people sWift
* ^sWift licks Digitalis
<^sWift> damn it..u didnt die |
#20239 (47/214) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* [GSF]Kiru flatlines during a hallucinatory sequence in space where he drinks lots of tea and discusses politics with a talking orange and a plank of wood |
#20275 (55/259) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dsbnh> man... mailorderbride.com leads to nothing
<[GSF]Tomato> I should register that
<dsbnh> they have mailorderbrides though
<dsbnh> so its giving me the option to browse ladies 18 to 98, i think i'll narrow
<dsbnh> to like... 90 98
<dsbnh> the way i figure i can get the sexor but they will be dead soon after
<dsbnh> perfect match
<dsbnh> ZERO RECORDS
<dsbnh> nooooooooooooooooooo |
#20494 (49/232) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
TheTrazzster: listening to Ludacris is the musical equivalent of eating shit. |
#25586 (53/249) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@kronz> dot <--
<@kronz> wait no
<@kronz> . <-- dot |
#26312 (56/310) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper |
#20210 (36/217) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Spazz> http://www.googlefight.com/cgi-bin/compare.pl?q1=Bush&q2=Gore&B1=Make+a+fight%21 &compare=1&langue=us
<@Spazz> Bush wins the popular vote.
<+roman> ..
<+roman> This is the internet.
<+roman> You expected BUSH to lose? |
#25197 (30/238) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
<rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
<Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini Diablo into your parking lot?
<Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
<Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into my drive way in a Panoz Roadster. |
#20497 (8/340) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<emil> If it makes you feel better, I'll show you a picture of myself. |
#23181 (5/320) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JaYoNaIsE> xvid is what?
<[Piratez]> xvid is xrated video |
#26322 (3/213) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Derek> i got gforce 2 ti 64 meg tv out :D
<Death_Mageorz> oooh
<Death_Mageorz> i want a tv out
<Death_Mageorz> so bad
<Death_Mageorz> so i can record shows |
#20279 (-2/357) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GUY> Is there n e other ways to say pussy i know pussy clit cunt beaver n' vagina |
#26315 (1/215) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@PookaZzZz> elimidate??
<@PookaZzZz> is that the terminator in spanish? |
#20462 (-5/421) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[GSF]PippinZ> I teach maths and english |
#20259 (-1/266) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[ Kandal_NH ] alright ill just leave my irc on
[ Kandal_NH ] and chill in the battle field
[ Evolution_NH| ] yeah
[ Evolution_NH| ] Go in the front line
[ Kandal_NH ] hahaa
[ Kandal_NH ] its not like im gonan die anyways
[ @Oz_NH ] can never be too sure though
[ @Oz_NH ] just look the wrong way, pick up your sword and WHAM, some gay soldier has given you an STD |
#22918 (-2/303) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^Sunrise> YES! SCORE! parents gone to see matrix
<^Sunrise> SUPAR FAP TIME
<^Sunrise> keekles |
#20478 (-1/270) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
«{dR}-Cobra» i had my gf whack me off cause she couldnt give head all that well
«{dR}-Cobra» i told her to go faster and she gagged, i told her she sucked
«{dR}-Cobra» but not very good |
#26321 (-2/292) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[supz] 64meg usually has less faster ram
[supz] and 128 has more slower ram |
#20287 (0/235) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NuttO> Girls Gone Wild: for men too fucking dumb to get real porn.
<Lakitu7> Seriously, that's the most boring porn evfer
<Measure> I downloaded some of that stuff and it was all "meh" and I came but I didn't enjoy it.
<Measure> It's like fucking a fat chick. |
#20642 (-1/256) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* held (~chief@dhcp-17-034.via-eth.ch) Quit (Quit: there is no spoon!)
<[Piratez]> no spoon, no soup for u! |
#25278 (-3/319) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<z0rk> why do you want this indian so much?
<acid> i want him as a wallpaper, reminds me of something my gf did tonight |
#20655 (-2/271) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheMaskedAnus> Hey Walter, Pump up the funk!
<ElBorracho> Uhh, I don't want him pumping up anything that ryhmes with spunk... |
#20229 (-3/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[09:22:15 PM] <ChOeL> PING
[09:22:18 PM] <Jackson> PONG
[09:22:18 PM] <Jordan> PONG
[09:22:19 PM] <Neo_Genocide_City> PONG |
#25214 (-3/265) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KKR[b0r3d]> i once had a wet dream and was glued to my bed the following day |
#24896 (-1/193) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+EvaUnit02> so as far as after the first 9 months of not having sex
<+EvaUnit02> and not having withdrawls
<+EvaUnit02> You never did workouts
<+EvaUnit02> like serious weight training.
<cd|work> after 9 months i would have a bloody stump for a hand
<KuunLB> hahahahahah
<cd|work> and the biggest pr0n collection in the universe
<+EvaUnit02> Yea thats about right
<mysoundis> tbh after a while even masturbation gets boring
<cd|work> even like alien pr0n
<mysoundis> <<< has lotsa alien porn
<KuunLB> yeah
<mysoundis> (the gf likes it)
<+EvaUnit02> After 6 months you have to start switching hands
<cd|work> EvaUnit02, good call
<KuunLB> masturbation has it's limits
<+EvaUnit02> start
<mysoundis> (okay i made that up)
<+EvaUnit02> otherwise your one arm is super toned up
<cd|work> haha
<cd|work> do you like... try to start giving yourself head? |
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