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#22682 (283/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gordo> Me? I'm 23.
<Gordo> Wait, I'm 24...
<Gordo> Shit, it was my brithday yesterday!!! |
#22932 (303/454) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG |
#26246 (258/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away) got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone turned back around...that haunts me |
#20187 (264/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aggiepm> OMG Kill me. I just tried to move my curser off my screen onto my desk to look at a paper document on my desk |
#22892 (215/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kammerer06>if 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it. |
#23467 (221/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lank|war> man
<Lank|war> a girl once asked me
<Lank|war> what it feels like
<Lank|war> to have an erection
<Boxthor> ....
<Lank|war> and I couldn't figure a way to explain it to her
<Lank|war> they had asked other guys
<Lank|war> and they were like
<Lank|war> "we came to you because you know how to word stuff right"
<Lank|war> and I was like
<Lank|war> uhhhhhh
<Lank|war> it gets hard |
#21841 (219/421) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Darien> I'm trying to decide how to ask Kristen out
<Darien> should I go the 'I was thining of catching a movie, wondered if...' route
<Darien> or the 'We need to go to a movie, like tonight.' route
<Darien> or what?
<dsalkjdsa> first of all, you need to start it off with 'bitch'
<dsalkjdsa> THEN you say ssomething strong and pushy, bitches like that
<Darien> yeah
<Darien> that's true'
<dsalkjdsa> bitch, get in my car, we're going to a dinner and movie; by dinner i mean we're going to have sex, and by movie i mean we're going to tape it.
<dsalkjdsa> oohh yeahhh.
<dsalkjdsa> something like that :) |
#24260 (188/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Geeky Weezer Fan: "Did you see X2?"
onkeybutt87: Jean Grey's hair in that is awesome
onkeybutt87: I totally wish I were a girl so I could have hair like that
onkeybutt87: and, in a related story, I'm straight |
#21974 (184/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<create> <nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is
<joedirt> isnt that a french pastry? |
#20052 (154/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pozzi> My comments will be well structured, mature and on topic at all times.
<Pozzi> Now fuck you all! |
#22055 (131/301) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lassie> actually i remember when I was about twelve, I bought "pot" off an older student
<Lassie> and I took it to show my sister
<Lassie> and she started ROFLing
<Lassie> and told me it was just basil |
#21989 (127/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Volt3kker>whats cntrl + F do on boot ?
<RogueFoxx> initates the self destruct sequence
<scot> it does?
<scot> is that what it really does? |
#23982 (121/287) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't exactly an easy task. :D
dhn> dentist?
Gud> yeah
*** dhn hands Gud a straw
Gud> dhn: straw?
dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;) |
#21513 (108/260) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<eDAN> That makes me think...has there been a wirework porn movie called "The Mattress" yet?
<eDAN> If not, I need to contact Larry Flynt and Tsui Hark pronto.
<eDAN> "You see...the machines realized that mankind is a natural battery, and we put off joules and joules of heat in our everyday life." "Whoa." "And damn, we REALLY put off a lot of heat while we fuck."
<Gavok> "There is no condom."
<eDAN> "People...are like...a virus. But a virus with nice tits." |
#25122 (118/290) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|Phreak|> Mind2: do you know of anything to benchmark/stresstest an ftpd?
<PsychoOne> phreak: make a post to slashdot telling them you have naked pictures of richard stallman
<Mind2> you don't want naked pics of stallman.
<Mind2> the nutbag of a nutbag is not recommended viewing. |
#21207 (105/264) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Secret_Squirrel> jesus
<Secret_Squirrel> has anyone else tried showing their parents how to use Kazaa to get music?
<Secret_Squirrel> its a supremely frustrating occurence culminated with the blasting of the first successful file transfer: Rod Stewart - Forever Young
<Secret_Squirrel> sigh |
#24440 (102/278) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<seth> Dammit, I've had hiccups for the past TWO HOURS!
<icon> Have you tried $USELESS_REMEDY?
<seth> I've tried all @USELESS_REMEDIES! |
#18427 (98/276) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rokan> WTF is that road sign mean.....
<Rokan> its a truck ramming into a virtical road
<Zimbu> The sign means: "You are now in Canada. Please kill yourself before it gets even worse." |
#20606 (77/231) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<D{-_-}J> how do I fix my card info?
<Stally> i think you have to run command.com and enter deltree C:windows
<ChrisAcky> wait there il try that cuz my netdraft has been fucking up a bit
* ChrisAcky has quit IRC
* _Acky has joined #mtguk
<_Acky> eek
<_Acky> !!!!!
<Stally> what happened
<_Acky> stally what was that, my computer has gone into dead mode
<_Acky> i had to grab a laptop |
#21265 (98/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jotarou> Man I masturbate in the shower so much, I'm surprised a baby hasn't crawled out of the bathdrain |
#18846 (59/275) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aphelion> 'GKZKGJ
<aphelion> OMFG
<aphelion> wt
<Flatline-> aphelion just figured out masterbation |
#22201 (57/270) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<deceptika> god created shit....honda made it move |
#22801 (41/312) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Karma_Police>It's weird how Bush wants to get rid of the world's evil
<The_Karma_Police>Yet he doesn't see that he, is indeed very evil
<Soulofahologram> Yes I find it erotic
<The_Karma_Police> Don't you mean Ironic?
<Soulofahologram> Same thing |
#20904 (30/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Kris] you know, IRIX is one of the most pure unixes out there judging from that chart
[sta_hi] racist. |
#22623 (12/312) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<phox0r> blarghh: your mom's mouth is an example of a BIOS |
#19228 (9/267) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<OveRKiLL> iom tyoping w ith myi dick rihgt now. |
#20315 (0/279) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Henk> How do express your personal viewpoint without sounding like an idiot?
<D_Radio> Henk, for you, it's impossible! |
#20519 (-1/273) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SiCk-bOi>What does NBA stand for?
<SiCk-bOi> Nothing But Africans |
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