|#308275* (?/31) ⚐Flag |
<j3susf4n> i was the one who "resurrected" jesus. I hallowed out his body, and then crawled inside of the skin. All those stupid fuckers bought it and now they worship my jesus skin
<j3susf4n> can you believe that
<moobix> well-played, my dear man. well-played. how did you make the assumption into heaven happen? some cheap lighting / dry ice effects?
<j3susf4n> even better, I just vaporized some lsd into the air around me and let everybody trip hardcore for a good hour, and then I went home when I got bored. Everybody thought I floated away
<moobix> what about water into wine? more lsd in the wine, or did you just wait til they were so drunk, they thought everything they drank was wine?
<j3susf4n> the glasses were empty until I poured some wine for them. those shit heads were too ungrateful to notice the 302 B.C Bordeaux that I wasted on them. That was a great year for wine
and they thought I just "magically" turned some tap water into wine.
<moobix> those sons of bitches... who could not appreciate a bordeaux?! now tell me, was it really just mary sleeping around? everyone's been talking since
<j3susf4n> mary is a whore.
<j3susf4n> she fucked a guy for some bacon, and that's when she got knocked up. she was too embarrassed to admit that she ate some sacred pig that she claimed to have been magically impregnated