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<SnowGryphon> Date a girl who plays StarCraft. Where you find her isn't precisely important; be it in a computer cafe crushing any challenger in 1v1, or at a coffee shop where you'd expect her to be studying or reading, go talk to her; she'll be engrossed but open to conversation. Comment on her play style; ask for her build orders before you ask for her number. "Protoss, Terran, or Zerg?" should always come in place of "What's your sign?"
Buy her a drink. Or better yet, get in the game. Learn her moves. Playing a game with her is like having sex with her: It's enjoyable, it's intense, and you get to learn a lot more about each other's capabilities. You'll learn that she can look like she's rushing into things, but she just wants to test your defenses. She'll look like she's hunkering down and closing herself to you, but actually she's inviting you to come over and fight. She can pretend to be attacking from above, but in reality she just wants you to look in the wrong direction, as she comes from down below.
Ask her out on a date. Don't worry - she's just like any other girl in this matter. Treat her like a princess but don't look desperate. Buy her clothes - but if she looks longingly at the Heart of the Swarm expansion in a window, get that instead. Go watch a movie. Ask her what she likes in video. If she says "video cards," then go out and buy that GTX 570 - it's cheaper than a designer handbag, and it may even last a little longer with care.
Go steady with her. Learn that micromanagement and macromanagement apply to day-to-day living. She's good at multitasking: Trust her with both present happenings and future affairs. She's adaptable; she has to be, if she wants to last long in games - or in a relationship. She can be fast and furious when she needs to assert herself and pressure up, but when it looks like a long road ahead, she can stay back and build up. She'll be intelligent and picky; expose a flaw too clearly and she'll focus it down until it goes away. Go do the same; learn from each other's mistakes - and strengths.
Marry her. Inexperienced players will throw it all down in the first few minutes, or sacrifice the early-game and try to turtle up for the forty-minute endgame, only to lose in the opening moments because they didn't make a good first impression. She'll do neither; she knows the value of a solid opening rush, with smooth transitions into midgame and endgame. She'll keep up her game throughout the course of your lives together, if you do the same: 2v2 is best done with teamwork.
Have kids. Teach them how to play. Teach them the value of combined arms and good tactics coupled with airtight strategy - in turn, you'll be teaching them, respectively, well-roundedness and a combination of present practicality and forward thinking. You and your StarCraft-playing wife will know best from thousands of games' worth of experience.
Look back and reminisce - but more importantly, analyze. Watch more replays of your losses than of your wins. See what the enemy did - see where you went wrong in life, where you could've improved, and figure out how you can avoid failure. Cast replays - tell your kids and grandkids stories and give them moral lessons.
Grow old laughing. Don't sit on a stack of resources; use them to make the most out of your lives. People find creative ways to get out of supply-maxed situations. If you're constantly saving up and delaying your happiness for a future goal that gets farther and farther, you'll lose the match with a huge pile of minerals that could've gone to a perfect victory.
Die happy. Close the game with a bang and a "GG," whether or not you won. Show respect to allies and enemies alike; give thanks to your long lives, no matter the bumps or potholes that might've crossed your path. Every loss is a challenge to do better; every victory is a reward for having done better.
Ultimately, realize that you know all these things as early as now, as you stare at her in the computer cafe or coffeshop, Blinking her Stalkers or spawning larvae on her Lairs. Understand that these are all things that everyone tells you to do - things that everyone in the history of relationship advice-giving has bellowed as doctrine and promulgated as law. But also know that when your StarCraft girl has done these and more every day of her waking life, she's practically an expert in the game. And in the love that you two will share.
One last thing. Don't cheese. |