#302025* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<Simon|lab> heh Joz did ashen tell u what happened in amsterdam?
<Joz> no, i asked him but he never replied
<Joz> so what happened, you went to a show right?
<Simon|lab> heh yea
<Simon|lab> i feel like
<Simon|lab> i was the only non dutch guy there
<Joz> lol
<Joz> so spill all the details
<Simon|lab> well
<Simon|lab> live sex show was one of the things i wanted to do in amsterdam
<Simon|lab> and we spent like at least a good hour
<Simon|lab> walking around trying to find one that wasn't closed down
<Simon|lab> then this old man offers us one for like
<Simon|lab> 25 euros
<Simon|lab> or something
<Simon|lab> he's like yea 25 euros live sex show if u want
<Joz> haha
<Simon|lab> anyway we went with him
<Simon|lab> and so it was 25 euros for 2 strip teases and live sex
<Simon|lab> and like 30 minutes of porno
<Simon|lab> so we kinda went in the middle so we missed the 30 mins of porn
<Simon|lab> and it was just us 2 and this dutch guy and girl couple
<Simon|lab> or maybe not dutch but european
<Simon|lab> so the prostitute comes out to strip
<Joz> yah
<Simon|lab> and she's like 35-40ish or so
<Simon|lab> and like kinda fat
<Simon|lab> and not really attractive and not arrousing
<Simon|lab> she finishes and she's like ok for the next part we need a volunteer
<Simon|lab> nobody volunteers
<Simon|lab> so obviously she picks the asian guy to go up
<Simon|lab> instead of the 3 europeans who are in the audience
<Simon|lab> and she's like yea don't worry, yuo don't hafta do anything
<Simon|lab> just stand there
<Simon|lab> anyway i have no idea how long she goes for
<Simon|lab> and she's like rubbing up against me and stuff
<Simon|lab> and then she grabs me and i'm not hard and she's like aww why aren't u hard
<Simon|lab> and i just kinda shrug and say i'm sorry
<Simon|lab> then she has me like lie down on the stage
<Joz> rofl
<Joz> im sorry buddy
<Joz> thats too funny
<Cartis^> XD
<Simon|lab> and like starts smothering me with her breasts
<Simon|lab> :(
<Simon|lab> ashen is like gonna crack up
<Simon|lab> in the audience
<Simon|lab> and i'm just lying there going when the hell is this gonna end
<Simon|lab> so she does that and some other stuff
<Simon|lab> and then checks me again
<Simon|lab> and i'm still not hard
<Simon|lab> and i'm like yea i'm really sorry
<Simon|lab> then she gives me this dildo
<Simon|lab> and has me hold it on my crotch
<Simon|lab> and she does stuff on it
<Simon|lab> and then she has me do hip thrusts
<Simon|lab> into her
<Simon|lab> and each time i do one she stands up a abit
<Simon|lab> so like at one point
<Simon|lab> she's like almost standing up over me
<Simon|lab> and i'm trying to thurst
<Simon|lab> like 2 feet in the air
<Simon|lab> or something
<Simon|lab> and i'm like yea i can't it's too high
<Simon|lab> and then the show ends
<Simon|lab> and ashen is like cracking up
<Simon|lab> :(
<Simon|lab> it woulda been better if she was hot
<Joz> lol, i would of been cracking up too
<Simon|lab> and not like
<Simon|lab> 40
<Joz> thats an awesome storyComment: Oh Amsterdam, how I love thee.
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