|#310766 (12/12) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<tmkf> if you offered steve ballmer a faustian bargain where he could do it all again, with full foreknowledge of how 2000-2010 transpired, but in return he would have to legally change his name to 'stevie peepants' and go by it
<tmkf> would he do it?
<pyna> probably. cause money
<pyna> one of the richest men in the world is named Anurag Dikshit - maybe that happened to him
|#308078 (24/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then.
|#311581 (30/48) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<dysk> I began experiencing an unintended consequence ever since I put a lot of my old crappy MIDI music on SoundCloud.
<dysk> Random people have been liking specific songs and following me, for an incredibly stupid reason.
<YelseyKing> Oh noes. People *like* your music? Dreadful.
<dysk> They have automated bot-type abilities to search for, and like, absolutely any song with specific words in the title, regardless of the song's content.
<YelseyKing> Oh. Hah. Dumb bots.
<dysk> Stupidest thing I've ever heard.
<dysk> So I have a few songs with the word "Party" in the title. I get notifications from out of nowhere about these accounts that like my "Party" songs, so I'm curious about these accounts and look them up. They also like tens of
thousands of other songs and audio files with "Party" in the title, from disco to hip-hop to political rallies.
<YelseyKing> Bots are so dumb.
<dysk> I tell you, nothing gets a dance floor moving quite like a Bob Dole speech from 1996.
<YelseyKing> Oh yes.
|#311454 (45/61) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
|#311395 (76/100) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
|#310595 (31/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@kmcdon> PenPen: what do you do as an it professional
<%PenPen> kmcdon: bitch about users on irc
|#309106 (49/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Zirak> So, I began to install Arch Linux. Had some problem with the booting device, but it happened before, no biggie.
<Zirak> Fixing that problem made a bigger problem. Which made a bigger problem.
<Zirak> Eventually, arch told me "Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck."
<Zirak> Followed by a kernel panic
|#304483 (33/69) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<warpy> i guess i should just go to bed, election results won't be up for another few hours anyway
<bucketmo> just go to bed with your window open
<bucketmo> if prop 19 passes, you'll smell it.Comment: ~7PM 11/2/10
|#302032 (78/124) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISHComment: My first day on IRC
|#310054 (57/75) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
|#305954 (34/64) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed
|#311601 (51/59) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
|#311594 (31/45) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<AAA> Ugh. SELinux is a pain in my ass. :(
<BBB> I'm not sure it's designed to go there
|#311431 (39/65) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<sickleanna> hiya curiousjock
<curiousjock> hey there sickleanna
<bubblegumbitch> oh sick leanna. i thought anna was a communist lol
* sickleanna is now known as sickle-anna
<sickle-anna> lets roll with it
<TungstenCarbide> can't roll
<TungstenCarbide> someone sliced the tires
<TungstenCarbide> someone with a SICKLE
|#309636 (49/69) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@Jano> Last time I ordered pizza the delivery chick got stuck in the elevator for an hour.
<@Jano> And when she got out she told me she didn't have my pizza.
<@Jano> It was great.
<@Lorkki> did she eat it
<@Jano> No. She just didn't have it. She had the wrong stuff.
<@Jano> They hadn't even made it.
|#306902 (48/70) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape
|#301487 (60/88) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
saltydog: i told you
thero: you did?
saltydog: you said youd go if someone bought you a drink
thero: stop talking to me when im drunk
saltydog: that leaves a 5 minute window each day to talk to you
thero: thats not my problem
|#301268 (66/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
|#297445 (54/76) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<tscmga?> hi, i am just trying to register a new account on ubuntu forum
<tscmga?> it ask me a question
<tscmga?> What color is an orange?
|#310368 (32/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<hep> would anyone like to sign up for our trolling ghostwriting service?
<hep> for the busy professional who still wants to troll
<hep> you just give us your nick
<hep> and we troll as you
|#295045 (-17/91) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@Zebe> sudo chballs +mouth urmom
|#237419 (46/68) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
|#309533 (51/73) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<nedbat> [Tritium]: you youngsters and your kidding...
<nedbat> get off my lawn!
<[Tritium]> But im not done mowing it....did you forget you paid me to do that?
<[Tritium]> is this even your house?
|#302246 (71/123) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
|#299680 (60/78) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<TugC> hey anyone want some freshly tested proxies?
<Xero> i want some too TugC
<TugC> i tested all of them today in charon
<Xero> ONE OF THOSE IS MY SERVERS IP
<Xero> YOU FUCKING FUCK
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