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#307356 (132/174) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Shifteny> Ok, I just did something really stupid and I was glad nobody was over in this office today to see it
<@Shifteny> I have this really nice, very warm fleece pullover I keep in this office because it gets cold over here sometimes
<@Shifteny> it has a drawstring in the waist
<@Shifteny> well, I've been wearing it since lunch because I was cold
<@Shifteny> I started getting hot, so I decided to take it off
<@Shifteny> I didn't notice that I was sitting on the drawstring
<@Shifteny> so as I was trying to pull the garment over my head, the drawstring kept tightening around my waist
<@Shifteny> so I was stuck there for a minute trying to figure out why I couldn't get it off
<@Shifteny> flailing around, trying to pull my arms out so I could get un-stuck
<@Shifteny> it was like the fleece pullover equivalent of a Chinese finger trap |
#305714 (123/179) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RAMPKORV> During the days of Yahoo IM, I added a guy randomly, then started spamming him with PENIS
<RAMPKORV> Appearantly, I did it exactly when he was doing a presentation for work
<fusion2004> gahaha
<RAMPKORV> and he replied 15 minutes later and was pretty angry |
#305903 (147/215) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bucketmouse> you heard about her birthday right
<stef> no
<bucketmouse> he didn't mention it at all so she asked a mutual friend of theirs
<bucketmouse> the dude tipped her of that he was talking about throwing her a portal themed birthday party
<bucketmouse> so she gets overly excited/hopeful thinking it's going to be romantic or something
<stef> portal isn't romantic though
<bucketmouse> so on the day of she wakes up, he's at work, she walks into the kitchen
<stef> this is going to be terrible isnt it
<bucketmouse> on the counter there's a cheap dollar-store helium balloon, a joint, and a box of debbie crocker cake mix
<bucketmouse> and a scrap of paper reading: 'u will be baked then there will be cake'Comment: she dumped him over this
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#295110 (106/156) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lync> oooooooookaaaaaaaay that was weird
<Lync> I just got called by someone at random who just went "what...a...dick...you...are" then hung up
<Lync> someone I don't even know amusingly either o.o
<TR> Sounds like they know you though. |
#226181 (106/160) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jer> TheBeast, lemme guess, female?
<@jer> if so, it sounds like you're caught in a pussy trap, get out of it... don't call her again, let her call you
<@jer> if you have some mutal friends, slip to them that you're really busy with something exciting in your life (and make sure it's real, don't lie)
<@jer> she'll call you, when she does, tell her you can't talk for long, then abruptly tell her you have to go
<@jer> and hang up
<@jer> work that way for a little while
<@jer> she'll then be in your little trap =]
<indigoflux> This is why I hate relationships.
<indigoflux> If I want to play mind games, I might as well sign up for a course in assembly programming. |
#303201 (59/117) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
GrawSith> I need a bunch of mannequin feet to store my socks on, so when i get them they're already stretchy and nice |
#308130 (68/210) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Adorable> On a scale of Helen Keller to Osama Bin Laden, how good is my hiding spot? |
#303306 (30/108) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ratty> It's really sad cycling past people who are drunk at 9:20 am. I mean, I can't have a beer for 8 more hours. |
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