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#301716
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315
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S: Cute coworker is cute
Mabbo: Don't you have a boyfriend?
S: I have a boyfriend, not a visual impairment
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#307357
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253
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<&Zera> Oh jesus.. I need to turn off the network share monitor on zerver/glasnftp. *ring ring* "Hey, me (mom's bf) and your mom's gonna watch a movie on the big screen up here. What's the logon password for the server again?". *20 minutes later and checking share activity* "Amateur.Anal.Attempts.15.xxx.dvdrip"
<&Zera> :(
<&Zera> I did not need to know this
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#305289
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220
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<dr_jkl> I HAVE A THREE DAY WEEKEND AND A SOLDERING IRON.
<dr_jkl> i am going to have so much fun. :D
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#301701
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156
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Matt: im never going to sleep again
Matt: I just had a dream that consisted of me attempting to save the world in a zombified universe. Saving it meant finding a cigar from 7-11 (it HAD to be 7-11) so that I could shove it up my ex girlfriends ass (who was with another guy because he's better at his job than me) and light the cigar, prompting it to turn into a rocket and launch her into the moon.
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14,883 quotes approved; 8,692
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; karma: 189.4805