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#306588
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426
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<@Malice> I found my friend Crista crying in the bathroom at work today.
<@Malice> I asked her what was wrong and she told me one of the new guys told her that he bets she sucks in bed.
<@Malice> Then she told me she was crying because she felt like a whore because it festered in her mind so long she wants to sleep with him just to prove him wrong.
<+ark0n> i think i just found my new pickup line
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#304051
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274
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<@Recnilgiarc> In about 5% of patients, it can instead cause inadvertent orgasms when yawning.
<@Recnilgiarc> this shit is going to be awesome
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#305367
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219
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<samurai_> whoa
<samurai_> this must be the internet equivalent of blacking out and waking up the next day to find you don't remember a thing
<samurai_> seems i had an account for a porn site i hadn't used in 30 weeks
<samurai_> from where apparently i'd downloaded over 20 gigs of videos
<samurai_> none of which i have anymore or recall seeing
<samurai_> well they wished me happy birthday today and that's how i knew it even existed
<samurai_> i feel like an undercover agent who was brainwashed and given a new identity
<dd7> as a pervert?
<samurai_> yes
<samurai_> yes indeed
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#306563
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324
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* TFBundy quit (No route to host)
* TFBundy joined
<TFBundy> cat just faceplanted into my router
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#306442
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286
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#xkcd, approx. five minutes after a discussion involving quantum mechanics:
(DerpNauce) I love how #xkcd-masturbation is completely empty
(Random832) wait
(Random832) how did you manage to observe a channel in a completely empty state
(ellipsis) aaaand we're back to quantum mechanics, awesome
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#306522
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297
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skel [~areplogle@xx.xx.xx.xx.lightspeed.wkshwi.sbcglobal.net] has joined #android
Channel topic is: Welcome to the official Android-platform IRC channel! || Root? Modded ROMs? Head to #android-root || App development questions? See #android-dev || Live commit stream #android-firehose
<skel> hi! =]
<skel> ahh I need #android-dev
skel [~areplogle@xx.xx.xx.xx.lightspeed.wkshwi.sbcglobal.net] has left #android
<Riddla> OH MY GOD.
<Riddla> SOMEONE READ THE TOPIC!
<Riddla> \o/
* Riddla pops champagne
Comment:
#android freenode
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#302592
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146
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<+TakeOne> O..o I love the way you can select a date of birth that's later than april 2010.
<+TakeOne> Yes, I'm submitting an application to McDonald's before I'm born because I know how futile my life is going to be.
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#306575
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270
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< omegacfx> in russia the age of consent is 100 dollars
Comment:
freenode - #anapnea
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#306606
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187
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<@Silly> i'm sat wanking with pron on my 50"tv right, doors closed and everything
<@Silly> right as im finishing up my housemate barges in, no fucking knocking or anything
<@Silly> i dont have time to hide my boner AND close the porn
<+Altruit> so which one did you hide?
<@Silly> so i throw my remote at him, altf4 and slam the keyboard on my dick
<@Silly> end result is that im very sore and ive got spunk all over my keybaord
<@Silly> and he still caught me
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#306411
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134
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-*- StoneCypher just found out that one of his favorite and one of his least favorite pieces of software are basically made by the same guy :(
<StoneCypher> PrinceXML and Opera.
<StoneCypher> i mean seriously, it's like finding out that hitler also saved eight million people from an asteroid
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14,883 quotes approved; 8,692
fermenting
; karma: 189.4805