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#310235 (22/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<worstcase> once we look at women as 3d printers i think abortion wont be as much of a big deal
#310784 (-21/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Xena> just make sure to reduce your wildly using of things just because they are cool
<Xena> a filter like that will get you far
#310017 (20/60) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nardil>how do ya figure out a womams ring size without her knowing?
<nardil>can u tell by measuring her nipples?
#308993 (33/53) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PL> you really dont need pickup lines in Finland
<PL> It was really romantic how i met my wife
<PL> i found her puking at my bathroom (we had my friends 20yo party here)
<PL> that was love at first sight <3
#308226 (36/76) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jax184> A poem in Punctuation.
<Jax184> ^<@<.@* (Hat less at less point at star)
<Jax184> }"_# | (Backbrace double base pound space bar)
<Jax184> -@\$&/_% (Dash at cash and slash base rate)
<Jax184> !( @|=> (Wow open tab at bar is great)
<Jax184> ;`+\$?^? (Semi backquote plus cash huh DEL)
<Jax184> ,#"~|)^G (Command pound double tilde bar close BEL)
sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
#304896 (27/61) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
<SlenderBot> I'LL PREPARE A HUNDRED COFFINS.
#309073 (16/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kyre> thou shalt not lay out thine floating point in any way other than the direction specified by ieee 754Comment: #darkplaces
#310850 (4/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mr-Ben> Man, forgot about theguy finding God. A full week now.
<Samwise> He hasn't found him after a week?
<Mr-Ben> Evidentally not.   Probably still looking.
<zompist> one whole week of god. better crack a window...
<Samwise> Man, you can't just look in churches, either.
<Mr-Ben> Some people look at the bottoms of whiskey bottles.
<jacquilyn> You can't find God in the bottom of a whiskey bottle, by the time you get to the bottom, he's already been poured out into the glass...
#310743 (17/21) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<l0de> Notice to IT staff. As of today administrators are strictly forbidden from assigning passwords which are not randomly generated. Assigning users passwords which contain obfuscated political statements (example NRA43V3R! , 084^^4=L|Z4RD ) will be grounds for disciplinary action.
<l0de> so there's another thing I ruined for everyone
...
<l0de> for like 6 months straight I assigned every user the password: "password187!
<l0de> and everyone was logging into everyone else's accounts and creating havoc
<l0de> it was gr88
#309232 (29/53) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Odd> So someone from customer service at work forwarded me this e-mail:  "Thank you for the confirmation of my book order, but you can save yourself and me a lot of time by not blowing up your schemes to 'help the environment.'  What you call 'help the environment,' I call a Jewish communist plot to destroy nations and topple freedom.  So spare me the smug rhetoric."
#305654 (37/65) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<IMMJR> Nice knew name |xjojox|
<IMMJR> Don't quite understand what the |'s are for
<|xjojox|> so the x's dont fall off
#303253 (30/48) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Artifice> I'm a little confused as to how E=MC^2 though. If they cannot be converted, how can they be equivalent
<@jey> energy and matter can interconvert
<Artifice> That's what I thought
<ttvd> prove it
<Artifice> I'll book the LHC. The 12th work for you?
#311147 (9/19) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BaloneyGeek> TIL Samsung has a fashion division
<Fuchs> well, they make wearables
<BaloneyGeek> Also clothes, apparently
<BaloneyGeek> They also make military hardware
<BaloneyGeek> And they, in some capacity, were fundamental to the building of both the Petronas Twin Towers and the Mia Khalifa
<BaloneyGeek> Err... Burj Khalifa
#310968 (18/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back
#310864 (22/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Raven> Is it still Passover?
<Kyol> Is Jesus still dead?
<Morwen> No Kyol, thats what Easter was all about.
<Kyol> Ah. So let me see. He gets nailed to a tree on Good Friday, spends a few days in a cave, comes out on Easter.. Then  what?
<hockwork> if he sees his shadow, its another 6 weeks of winter
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
#310589 (12/16) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Walnut> Sonic the Hedgehog has never had a bad game
<Walnut> unrelated I have amnesia dating back to 1994
#309833 (27/37) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<heddwch> brb, taking out the trash as my moment of productivity for the day
#309616 (18/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Iambian> Remember kids, when someone offers you drugs, say "thank you" because drugs are expensive.
<xmc> correct
<xmc> and in today's challenging regulatory climate, drugs are a logistical hassle as well
#307605 (49/69) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<%Klima> Well
<%Klima> Holland seems like a weird country
<%Klima> I've been there once
<%Klima> To Amsterdam
<%Klima> and we slept on a boatel, a boat that is a hotel
<%Klima> That's weird
<%Klima> And people live in shipping containers turned into apartments
<%Klima> that's weird
<%Klima> We tried to take a boat to Amsterdam, and a small car with 3 wheels comes on it, with a DJ blasting techno music all the time
<%Klima> A live DJ, on the back of a small car
<%Klima> blasting techno music on a public boat, with a thousand people on it
<%Klima> and no one complained, they liked the music
<%Klima> the dj was half naked
<%Klima> that was weird
<%Klima> So we get to the red light district, and this was at around 10 o' clock in the morning, and it just STANK
<%Klima> Man
<%Klima> that smell was horrid
<%Klima> It just smelled of semen and poo
<%Klima> so that was weird
<%Klima> We get to a small street where on one side, there are window hookers
<%Klima> on the other side
<%Klima> there's a fucking KINDERGARDEN
<%Klima> Amsterdam is just the weirdest place I've ever been
#307362 (50/80) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<~Trixar_za> We should make a drink right
<~Trixar_za> And name it "Responsibly"
#302973 (35/53) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Suzuran: Was was the name of that one site where people copypaste bullshit and show it to other people?
nly: oh I think you mean The Internet
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#310342 (17/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#309708 (41/57) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Mich is now known as mich
<TB> Little mich
<TB> I don't understand the need to change from M to m
<Tibby> he ran into a goomba
#305699 (32/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Erik> Alright.
<Erik> I'm writing a script that checks my instant messenger logs every couple entries.
<Erik> And if the ratio of Youtube links to actual messages exceeds 20%, it tells me I can't be friends with that person anymore.
#310170 (27/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kmc> it's depressing how many security holes have the root cause that "int" is a lot shorter to type than "unsigned int"
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