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#300287 (677/817) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Toba> Note to self: check new boxers before wearing. I just found a 'quality control passed' sticker on my wang. |
#295912 (306/376) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now... |
#297599 (401/521) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<R0b0t1> "Honestly I think all those people who say Bin Laden has weapons of mass destruction are stupid. Destroying mass is against the laws of thermodynamics!"
<leymoo> ...
<leymoo> you sir, win the award of the "biggest groan I'll do today" competition |
#300636 (452/604) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet. |
#301414 (271/359) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@GaidinBDJ> Wanna feel old? Just think, if they remade Back to the Future now, they would be travelling back to 1980. |
#300628 (321/429) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ttvd> my gf said if we build more solar panels the sun energy will be consumed faster o.O
<FOXX> Dump her.
<ttvd> no she's pretty smart actually.
<ttvd> although i remember she asked me how deaf read... hmm
<FOXX> Cognitive dissonance there, ttvd? |
#281442 (327/455) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pentavite> you know those cliffs and ledges and etc. that have suicide hotline phones nearby?
<Pentavite> I think the govt should designate them as suicide points, for efficiency
<Pentavite> so people know a good way to kill themselves
<Pentavite> just send someone every now and then to pick up the bodies
<GenericLoser> You'd have to post road signs, too.
<GenericLoser> "Suicide Point -- Dead Ahead." |
#301436 (264/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<IndianaJones> name one thing that would not be improved by an infusion of Patrick Stewart voice
<IndianaJones> you can't, can you
<Lofn> I was going to say sex
<Lofn> but that would be a lie
<IndianaJones> MAKE IT SO
<IndianaJones> ENGAGEComment: #nerd on sorcery.net
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#301451 (262/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird |
#300286 (221/359) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+finn> is there something in between "I like you" and "I love you"?
<@Rjx> sex |
#300712 (259/453) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DragonFogel> Fun fact: Right now, there is more public support in the US for legalizing marijuana than there is for the Republican Party. |
#301418 (221/397) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<VoxPVoxD> I see a half dollar coin every once in a while
<VoxPVoxD> I think it's jfk on them
<VoxPVoxD> which is a wasted opportunity
<VoxPVoxD> we had a great reason to finally have one of those cool coins with a hole in it |
#300509 (143/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@JeremySm> firecrackers?
<Hark> cracker | peanut butter | weed | peanut butter | cracker
<Hark> tinfoil, bake in the oven
<Hark> fats in the peanut butter absorb the thc
<@JeremySm> lol
<@JeremySm> this is why Canada is not a world power |
#301251 (126/332) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<timmo> anytime i yell at a woman and im really angry i think CUNT
<timmo> i only say it half the time though
<timmo> its like the a bomb of yelling at a woman
<snow_> i've had worse experiences calling a girl fat than a cunt
<timmo> how about you fat cunt
<snow_> haven't tried that one
<timmo> you know, cover your bases
<Alphamaze> In my experience, calling a girl a cunt will get her angry, while calling her fat will make her sad.
<Alphamaze> Calling her a fat cunt will result in a woman that is confused about her emotions.Comment: EFnet #geekissues
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#252356 (78/224) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition |
#299627 (48/208) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<altoid> i remember once talking to someone at the helpdesk at ucsd
<altoid> i mentioned i was having trouble getting GNOME to work on Gentoo (never did solve the problem)
<altoid> (used KDE the entire time instead, out of laziness)
<altoid> and he was like "oh, did you lose your windows CDs or something? |
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