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#300794 (2732/3008) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo |
#300792 (1029/1161) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SterlingSilver> We got our report cards back last week. I'm not so great in school, so I did a D in one class. But I was totally okay with this when I realized that with the S (satisfactory) in chorus and the S in study hall, the first 6 grades on my report card spell "BADASS." |
#300893 (429/571) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Orion: The internet is mostly cat pictures these days. I remember the good old days when the internet was conspiracy theorists, porn, and DOOM WAD files. |
#249522 (372/494) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Shadders> God is within Yourself
<Mike> then I hope He likes tacos, because tonight its what He's getting |
#300835 (346/462) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> It's bad when I'm watching a porno and I suddenly realize "Hey, I know this song. It was in that other porno." |
#300815 (380/514) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Mango: So I was trying to troubleshoot this DNS server.
Mango: And I wanted to make sure it gave expected behaviour when you requested a lookup for a non-existant name.
Mango: Turns out
Mango: there actually IS an asdflkjasdf.com! |
#300781 (263/375) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
s42: I was ranting with my friend about how nonsensical it is for so many people to play Farmville on Facebook... how growing imaginary crops is a waste of time when there's no real goal.
s42: When I realized I play MMORPGS...
s42: I probably do more farming on the internet than fucking farmers do in real life. |
#299757 (264/378) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
AstralFire> I am horrified and amused. On the other side of the highway by my house, there is a horse farm. Waiting on the light to change, I realized I was behind a small sedan with a horse-themed license plate that reads "PWNIES." |
#300807 (332/478) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mr_daemon> I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
<mr_daemon> Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
<mr_daemon> Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsing |
#294880 (236/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ElandurGGG: That'd be sweet if right before the new president got sworn in, the old president was getting sworn out in some dark dungeon, where he'll be locked up chained to a wall until he starves to death.
ElandurGGG: That'd be a SWEET tradition.
EstherMeowMix: hahha
ElandurGGG: And people could come see him whenever, and give him food.
ElandurGGG: And the judgement of how good the president was is based on how long people keep coming to feed him.
EstherMeowMix: yeah
ElandurGGG: How long it takes until everyone just loses interest and stops visiting.
EstherMeowMix: wow that's some sadistic shit
ElandurGGG: I think it's the best thing I've ever written. |
#300799 (376/608) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
lola: I inherited my eyes from mom
diamant: and tits from daddy?
lola: fuck u
diamant: but indeed?
lola: YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?? MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE TITS AT ALL!!
diamant: that's what i'm talking about :)
lola has quit IRC. (Quit) |
#300849 (263/469) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MunInFull> So I've got an mp3 of Biggie's Mesmerize as my ringtone? I was at a bodega buying tamales this morning, it went off, and this little cholo thug just started dancing in line, told me to keep that bitch waiting because this was a good song. Afterwards, we fistbumped. I felt ethnic. |
#300892 (188/336) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<abiff> I don't like beer in cans
<abiff> That's why I drink it |
#300914 (182/342) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< jus> hulk aspergers
< jus> you wouldnt like me WHEN IM IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS |
#300876 (165/319) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Noopn Ale: 100MB left on the download
misterj: yeah, mine is done
Noopn Ale: Damn, you rolling with Comcast too?
misterj: what? naw, charter
Noopn Ale: Charter? Really? My GF told me that shit was horrible
misterj: well, she also told you your dick was big
Noopn Ale: :'( |
#300825 (138/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@stoner> well, hillbillies say they aren't indifferent towards education
<@stoner> but that's probably just because they don't know what either of those words mean :P |
#300867 (167/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Thadd> I'm mormon
<Thadd> in the sense I stockpile assault weapons and have sex with teenage girls
<Thadd> other than that I'm an atheistComment: #arc-nova.org on DarkMyst IRC
|
#300896 (124/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Steg> if you want to be reasonable, kindly do it elsewhere |
#300469 (112/266) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* bendertiger has quit IRC (Quit: )
* KaylaKitsune has quit IRC (Quit: Cut the chain of lies, I've been beating and beating and beating myself)
* Sypress has quit IRC (Quit: When two people dream the same dream, it-OMGWTFBBQ)
<zeta> The three styles of quit messages.
<zeta> The simple quit, The emo quit, and the lol quit. |
#300808 (174/426) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV |
#300865 (97/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other |
#300909 (74/178) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Actual Chris: facebook is telling me to write on your wall too
Chaos: wow
Chaos: fuck you facebook
Chaos: everyone knows I'm pathetic just leave it be
Actual Chris: haha
Chaos: "hey, make sure this guy doesn't kill himself okay" |
#300886 (62/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nyef> Is the measure of a writers' ability to not mix past, present, and future called "tensile strength"? |
#300826 (42/226) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
***Kenny Duehit just came from his networking class
Kenny Duehit: as of now we talk in TCP
Kenny Duehit: tonight will be epic
Carl Sagan: what do you have?
Kenny Duehit: I'm going to talk with betty and say I'd like some sexy time, with a URG flag
Carl Sagan: So youll get to cut infront of the line of all the other guys?
Carl Sagan: :P
Carl Sagan: ;)
Kenny Duehit: damn
***Kenny Duehit walked right into that one |
#300852 (41/239) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ranc0r> IT Rule: When Symantec buys a product, it goes to shit. |
#300884 (21/283) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Coldhak> par for #anime is to expect a response after 25 minutes (length of an episode) |
#300803 (25/575) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4 |
#300885 (3/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dave2> I wonder if it's normal for me to frequently swear at, shake my fist at, and give the middle finger to an inanimate object.
<awilcox> Dave2, your penis? |
#300820 (2/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Dave: what's the site
Dave: that if someone asks about something
Dave: it types in the subject into google for you
Dave: showing you how to do it
... Time passes ...
Dave: who would have ever thought that it's called
Dave: let me google that for you |
#300809 (-1/495) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots |
#300899 (0/406) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* worried is now known as nervous |
#300881 (0/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Maxnice27: dude
Maxnice27: u there ??
Maxnice27: need counsel
JimBastard: sup
JimBastard: type "~" to access the console |
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