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#297667 (2049/2287) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me |
#229087 (1044/1188) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%kimini> best toilet graffiti i've ever seen
<%kimini> "I hate 2 things in life; irony and graffiti"
<%kimini> i shat myself laughing
<%kimini> but i was in the toilet, so it was ok. |
#297184 (1913/2259) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<roxylucy> omg did i tell you what embarrassing thing happened to me the other day?
<hedgab> not that i know of
<roxylucy> ok. well, i was visiting my friend in the hospital
<hedgab> yeah
<roxylucy> and so i was leaving
<roxylucy> but in the next room, i noticed a man covered in machinery, shivering.
<roxylucy> and i thought that was sad, so i pulled the blanket up for him
<roxylucy> and, with his breathing mask on, says, "can you see if my testicles are black"
<hedgab> omg really?
<roxylucy> i tried to decline, but he looked so frail and desperate
<roxylucy> so i checked to make sure no one was looking
<roxylucy> and i looked at it and it was just fine
<hedgab> haha ok
<roxylucy> so i was like, "nope, none of it is black"
<roxylucy> and he takes off his mask and says, "can you see if my test results are back" |
#296664 (354/548) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< carbine> Go act mature somewhere else. This is the internet buddy. |
#300167 (279/463) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Moon_Doggy> sugar, egg, and peanut butter does not turn into a cookie when you bake it..............it turns into FIRE |
#205994 (213/363) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Karl(10:34):hey, i'm after a little business advice. do you think it's ok to add the line "pay up you worthless mother*****" to the end of my statements to overdue clients?
Anika (10:47):Yes, that's standard business practice. I also add "All y'all niggaz be trippin if yuh try and play a playah, y'all end up dining on a bullet." That's actually legally binding. |
#295136 (223/385) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dshs> what's the absolute best question?
<fydo> you just asked it. it's recursive. |
#295415 (246/436) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<~Vespa> I had a lesbian (a very intoxicated one) come onto me once
<~toto> They wanted a drink dear
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they bought me the drink
<~toto> They'd spiked it and wanted your wallet then.
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they thought I was femaleComment: #dirt
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#294654 (201/357) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<U235> it always bothers me when i'm filling my bottle of water and the pressure drops because someone flushed a toilet
<U235> in the back of my mind, I just can't stop thinking that that water I was about to drink instead washed someone's poop away. |
#299905 (242/516) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@eliot> someone hilight me please
<@eliot> SAY MY GOD DAMN NAME
< lolidunno> elio
< micro_ulaelable> elio t
<@eliot> ..
< micro_ulaelable> _ _ _
< micro_ulaelable> ___| (_) ___ | |_
< micro_ulaelable> / _ \ | |/ _ \| __|
< micro_ulaelable> | __/ | | (_) | |_
< micro_ulaelable> \___|_|_|\___/ \__| |
#299916 (274/590) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Stormscape> If you watch the movie Jaws in reverse it's about a shark who throws people up until they have to open a beach |
#295558 (141/321) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Xilas> so....I use plagiarism all the time in my papers. I just reword it.
<@Xilas> Even Einstein said "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
<@Rican> Yeah, well from what I've seen so far.. you're pretty horrible a it. |
#299702 (157/371) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< adamkuj> are there any good open source tools for working with Access DB's (mdb files)?
<@Dopey> rmComment: #evilgeeks
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#300152 (151/373) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Oddlot> Also FuzzyPlushroom: Another good day at driving.
<Oddlot> We hunted down my instructors ex |
#299673 (80/218) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jen> help my mom get a demonoid account? damn thing wont let me give her an invite since were same ip :-(
<+Ailieron> Why don't you just let your mom use your account?
<~Fax> then her mom will know that Jen's been dl-ing yaoi again
<@jen> the last time i downloaded yaoi was when mom forced me to find brokeback mountain |
#295092 (60/266) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> daniel u know how i said my router was overheating?
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> i got home yesterday and max had opened it and mounted a heatsink to the hot chip and cut open the side and stuck a cpu fan on the exterior of the case
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> so now i have super power router
<havent changed name since 21st jan 007> that i think may technically still belong to vodafone |
#297450 (68/350) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dave2> Oh dear fuck I have just found an IRC log of someone from college as a hermaphrodite dragon engaged in cybering. |
#245926 (32/278) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<azn_jesus> also, I think I won at oktobervfest
<azn_jesus> I'm not sure what I won but I have some chick's stockings on my pants
<azn_jesus> scratch that, I seem to be in her car
<azn_jesus> I think she's telling me we're going to my place
<azn_jesus> yup, at my place now
<azn_jesus> passing out now, brbComment: #bifemunix EFNet
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