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#115317 (1936/2128) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zemyla> Did I tell you about what my friend Joe did in auto shop?
<Zemyla> He was working with an arc welder, and the welder tip got stuck to the metal.
<Zemyla> He knew this was a bad thing, so he grabs a hammer and hits the metal to get the tip off.
<Zemyla> Then when he pulls back, lightning arcs from the metal to the hammer.
<Zemyla> The teacher notices this, and yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
<Zemyla> And Joe bellows, "I AM THOR!", brandishes the hammer, and shocks the fuck out of the guy next to him.Comment: #cmc on Nightstar
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#230078 (801/923) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<heros> LOL, dude, I set up this little box on the side of my car
<heros> and theres a button on it with a sign, "Do not press"
<heros> and when you press it the car alarm goes off
<jeff> lol nice
<heros> so I'm gonna count how many people do it in a week
<heros> brb
<jeff> where u going?
<heros> car alarm went off |
#114349 (1090/1276) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<curgoth> We are the canadian borg
<curgoth> please wait to be assimilated
<curgoth> resistance would be impolite
<curgoth> pour l'assimilation en francais, presse sur "2" |
#114343 (426/510) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shadowwire> I gave away ramen noodles, pork and beans, jello snacks, vienna sauseges, dollar bills and candy on halloween.
<shadowwire> the kids had their pick.
<shadowwire> You would be supprised how many kids took the ramen.
<shadowwire> I even had a pirate fight a spider man for a can of pork and beans.
<pelaofeliz> who won?
<shadowwire> the pirate. |
#118435 (616/742) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lemmy> : no body like's an grammer nazi.
<Harbinger>: *Nobody
<R4dbutton>: *likes
<@Voyager> : *a
<Shakur> : *grammar
<cyclic> : *Nazi
<Lemmy> : ...
* GrammarNazi ;-p |
#267960 (390/494) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<palomer> I invented a new programming language
<palomer> now I'm wondering what to do with it
<palomer> ho hum
<Axle> what's it good for?
<palomer> programming:P
<Raevel> you're already ahead of a lot of the others |
#299753 (499/635) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Reilithion> If yhou make a typo, like I just did, it's because somewhere on the net, someone else also made a typo of the opposite nature. In this case, somebody is missing an 'h' somewhere in one of their messages.
<bomb> wow, tat's an interesting theory |
#295604 (391/519) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<archtech> An interesting experiment: cover your eyes fully so that no light leaks through. You'll always think you see some light leak through. Ask your friend to turn off the light, or do nothing. When he turns it off, you'll still see phantom leaking light.
<awormus> now I know the guy who is sitting next to me is on this channel because he's sitting here with his hands over his eyesComment: #phpc freenode
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#295561 (411/561) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(SatanicSniper): I'm home alone till about 4 tomorrow, so, my mates coming over with some chicks
(SatanicSniper): We're gunna have sex
(SatanicSniper): And the girls are gunna watch TV
(SatanicSniper): I mean... Nevermind |
#153061 (241/333) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-slushey- [Global Notice] Due to an unforseen shortage in operators, we will now be hosting a raffle to become an IRC Operator. If you would like to be considered for the possible (25) open positions, please /msg Tom and indicate your interest. Thank you, SynIRC Staff.
... ten minutes pass...
-Tom- The raffle has been a grand success, unfortunately, my message queue is now full. Please PM Excelsior if you would like to enter in the raffle from here on out. Thank you!
... ten more minutes pass...
-Tom- I hate my life stop PMing me |
#115095 (289/417) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Obby> I'm going under the knife tomorrow.
<Kabloxy> Ahh, Jesus.
<Kabloxy> Hope it all goes well, dude.
<Obby> You know what I should do?
<Obby> On my correct leg, I should write; "Wrong leg, man," and on the other write; "Or is it? HAHAHAH THE pressure's on you, DOC! JUST YOU AND THE KNIFE!"Comment: irc.waypasteleven.com, #n
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#114281 (238/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mario> wtf
<mario> you know your office is portal crazy when:
<mario> the cake in the kitchen has a sign saying "The cake lies" and sings "Still Alive" when you open the box
<mario> someone talked the contractor into making a few of the doors oval-shaped "portals" instead
<mario> complete with painted orange/blue patterns on each corresponding side
<mario> your file server is swinging from the ceiling aptly named "GLaDOS"
<mario> the new company motto is "There's a hole in the sky through which things may fly"
<mario> and there's a bunch of weighted ikea boxes with hearts on them scattered about
<mario> guess the VP doesn't expect we'll have any clients anytime soon :| |
#297866 (195/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Brat> I dreamt that my cat had become unsatisfied with all the love and affection that I gave her and that she started looking online at cat "personals", which are really just pages and pages of people's hands in the "cat petting" position, with profile information like "looking for a loving cat to stroke" "SWM looking for classy cat", etc. etc.
< Brat> It ended up with me getting on my knees and promising that I'd give her twice as much attention.
< Brat> :( Then I woke up. |
#114138 (237/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[ +Drathmar ] sometimes I hate using 2 keyboards at once
[ Trekkie ] pebkac
[ +Drathmar ] pebkac?
[ Trekkie ] problem exist between keyboard and chair
[ +Drathmar ] o.0
[ +Drathmar ] what kind of problem could exist between the keyboard and chair |
#129406 (176/272) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@matt-o-rama> i told somebody on youtube to "euthanize yourself"
<@matt-o-rama> they reply "that only works for dogs, stupid" |
#246949 (170/292) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Canadian BLT: sorry, I just turned on my comp then went upstairs for a while
Duff: pfft
Duff: My computer is on 24/7
Canadian BLT: i need to turn mine off every once in a while, i feel that it runs a lot better if i turn it off, let it rest then turn it on again
Duff: you realize it's not a bunch of slave gnomes inside running everything right? |
#112337 (128/248) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(rh387-work) well, speaking of laughing so hard you cry
(@Gorzki) Go on
(rh387-work) in the realtek nic drivers for the comps here at school
(@Gorzki) Yeah..
(rh387-work) they have a setting "optimal performance"
(rh387-work) and it defaulted to "disable"
(@Gorzki) lmao, literally |
#113649 (108/214) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dewdude> last time i made chili it was on a sunday
<dewdude> and i was in the store, 9 in the morning
<dewdude> buying a six pack
<dewdude> and chili mixins
<dewdude> and people were like "have you no shame?"
<dewdude> and i'm like "it's for the chili"
<dewdude> once i told the stuck-up old lady in her church clothes the beer was for chili she shut-up
<dewdude> then her husband was like '
<dewdude> "what kind of peppers you usin?"
<dewdude> ... bastard took my chili recipie |
#113837 (80/168) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Chelsea: ...why do I always check Yahoo's bulk folder when I know that almost nothing goes in there that I'd actually want?
William: dunno
Chelsea: I've been getting an unusual amount(read:two per day) of spam mail that doesn't get redirected there lately, though.
William: Well, the spammers change their tactics every so often
Chelsea: Yeah
Chelsea: Their "try to sell Viagra to a female" tactic hasn't changed, though :p |
#185761 (95/219) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Brushwell> You know you're gay when your granny knits you a cocksock for christmas
<TR> and then says "you'll grow into it" |
#114149 (86/216) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rabidmoth> When life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons. |
#112090 (7/159) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* noir will return: have to make my parents bed so they wont suspect anything
<Kaelic> noir: Um, why would your parents bed be unmade?
<noir> maybe i was sleeping in it....
<Orca> Kaelic: I dunno, is there a wet spot on it?
<Kaelic> They have sex in that bad, gross!
<noir> i dont want to think about my parents having sex
<Kaelic> just think about the sex byproducts you were sleeping in, thats bad enough
<Orca> Kaelic: Just think, YOU are the byproduct of your parents having sex! |
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