QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
Donate! About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#309684 (24/42) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@pirokoro) you know your city is fucked up when William Gibson uses it as example of emergent chaotic dystopia :P
#307852 (37/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<B0g4r7> A Catholic priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar.
<B0g4r7> He orders a beer.
<d4|werk> ba dum tsssssh
<mark251> so how was the beer
#307703 (7/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Peng> Racist. I've dated many perfectly trustworthy robots.
<yonkeltron> Peng: yeah, best to wipe the wd-40 off your whore mouth before coming into the office
Comment: #prgmr on freenode
#305535 (40/78) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
+ RubberDuck has joined #TC.
< RubberDuck> fuck
< RubberDuck> where the fucks my bowling ball?!?
< ireadminds> uh, dont they rent em?
< RubberDuck> they rent only polished shitballs.
< RubberDuck> FUCK
< ireadminds> well u aint gonna find it here thats fo sho
- RubberDuck has quit (fuck this shit).
+ Melissa has joined
< Melissa> Ducky isnt dicking around in here, is he? were supposed to be goin out tonite :3
< CoJaBo> He said he doesnt have the balls for it.
Comment: (and, yes, their names are Convoy references)
#305054 (49/77) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ProfDrum> Ive somehow cut my forehead shaving
<ProfDrum> the worst bit of this is the overwhelming sense of deja vu it's giving me
The London Vandal Store, you should check it out.
#205799 (18/44) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> I found pictures of a high school ex-girlfriend a few weeks back
<@Rjx> and it looks like a mathematics degree took its toll on her
#182652 (42/62) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tinted_Green> ok Grugg
<Tinted_Green> you and me
<Tinted_Green> we have to do that one day
<Tinted_Green> go to a pub
<Tinted_Green> and get a pint in a teapot
<Tinted_Green> and we have to wear top hats
<Tinted_Green> and monocles
<Tinted_Green> and speak in a highly refined english accent
<Tinted_Green> and see how long it takes them to throw us out
<Grugg> As soon as I can afford a ticket to australia
<Grugg> We will do this
<Turks> not without me you're fucking not
<Grugg> Didnt you threaten to murder me with an umbrella if you ever met me?
<Turks> i say alot of things
#310394 (39/47) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&Orillion> All my lines are under the GNU public license
<&Orillion> Feel free to interpret and rewrite them as you like
<&Orillion> I know my girlfriend does
#310370 (36/42) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<khelp_work> hey folks
<kerin> yo
<khelp_work> hows it going?
<kerin> like it has fallen to me once again to make war against countless unmotivated shit-for-brains assholes who have dedicated every fiber of their mediocre existences to undermining everything i have striven to accomplish
<kerin> it is as though i stand alone in a howling gale of misery and uselessness
<khelp_work> so...mondays?
<kerin> yes
<kerin> you have summarized the situation nicely
#309761 (60/70) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@b0lt> why is the OS X trackpad scrolling speed setting hidden in the accessibility settings panel
<tuple> because if the apple way isnt right for you, you must be handicapped
#309667 (82/92) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<h292zhan> 64-core 192 GB of ram :D
<Mithorium> I'd like 192 GB of ram
<Mithorium> I could open like, 2 instances of Eclipse
<Mithorium> think of the possibilities
#309079 (59/67) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
12:28:31] <e0x> i use G+ , in fact is the only social network beside irc that i use
<e0x> ( yes irc is a social network )
<`WarpKat> irc is not a social network - it's where i come to waste time most of the day without doing anything productive at work.
<`WarpKat> ...
<`WarpKat> ok.
<`WarpKat> maybe it IS a social network.
#309047 (65/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Erasmus> Just cracked my genuine copy of Windows that kept complaining at me that it was non-Genuine. So now it's non-Genuine but at least it thinks it is again.
#308969 (41/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hyptosis> Urine used to have tons of uses that are now replaced with science
#310172 (69/77) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bike> i'm ten pages in to an ethernet-phy manual and i'm pretty sure the internet is impossible
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
#310063 (34/44) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<oniMaker> tw2113: 97b577be2a18c22ca3406f0d1fdc5c70
<tw2113> ?
<oniMaker> MD5'd profanity.
<oniMaker> If you want to feel insulted you'll have to set up some rainbow tables.
<tw2113> too much effort
<tw2113> i'lll just feign offense
<oniMaker> excellent choice
Comment: during discussion of channel bots trapping profanity and warning uses about it
#309657 (31/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(+tt) I have the best idea for a serial crime
(+tt) I am going to break into people's bathroom windows, flip the toilet paper over so  it feeds the other way, and leave.
#309588 (38/42) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Dan39> does anyone else get annoyed by stuff that seems too highly abstracted... :|
< _habnabit> Dan39, like your question?
Comment: #python
#309503 (14/22) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@tomwyatt> guys
<@tomwyatt> should i go an purchase foursk.in for 29 quid and build a social wanking network?
#309350 (114/116) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Proview_> freshman year of college, i'm like... oh, yeah, im going to try and be leet and install gentoo. try loading it frmo a flash drive, 20 minutes later, my HDD was erased, my external 2 TB drive was erased, AND THE FLASH DRIVE gentoo came on was erased
<Proview_> i had to email all of my professors and tell them "i tried installing gentoo and now i have nothing left. my work will be late"
<Proview_> my comp sci professors just responded with "understandable"
#309295 (60/70) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jlamothe> It's super useful when you're chatting in one window, but want to keep an eye on another.
<jlamothe> ...sorry wrong channel... and an excellent way of not illustrating my point.
#309217 (32/40) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong.  :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong.
#309152 (73/81) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
TheEnd. : I hate my job, too boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : I hated my last job
JimmyKillsAlot : I worked for this call center for the board of education
JimmyKillsAlot : we managed servers and helped teachers all over the state
JimmyKillsAlot : like teaching approved sites and keeping them certified
TheEnd. : Sounds boring.
JimmyKillsAlot : it was
JimmyKillsAlot : and always buggy, people couldn't register and had to call us
JimmyKillsAlot : and when we made the account the username was based off of first name, last name, and a random number
JimmyKillsAlot : one day this woman calls and we go through the motions to make her an account
JimmyKillsAlot : when the info pops up
JimmyKillsAlot : I had to keep a straight face as I told Irene that her username was IMaho247
JimmyKillsAlot : my boss had to put the lines on hold for 5 min until the laughing stopped
#308942 (58/60) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<munin_> roughly it is modeling language and the brain, or, a graph-theoretic approach to modeling how language is represented in the brain
<munin_> she is teaching a graph to speak english by having it read reddit
<munin_> the first 2 phrases it learned were 'm night shamalamadingdong' and 'cockjuggling thundercunts'
<munin_> so it seems to be working
<munin_> she is going to try and get 'cockjuggling thundercunts' into her dissertation
#300111 (56/66) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<raco> Why criticize masturbation? Better to self-release and get it out of your system then commit a sex crime.
<lanter> Wow, I really hope you meant "than" rather than "then."
Got a question? Try the FAQ
save page | share 123456..575Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.012 (3) 14,274 quotes approved; 9,619 fermenting; karma: 189.6136