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#297382 (2029/2363) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<c0nsumer> A pizza with the radius z and thickness a has the volume pi*z*z*a |
#236280 (622/728) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Upthorn> The place I lived on the outskirts of baltimore had good sound insulation
<superjupi> I'd give two ovaries and most of a kitten to have good sound insulation
<BagOfMagicFood> If I type this many letters then it lines up good sound insulation |
#298774 (215/249) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<todd> so uh.. where can I get pdf files of my books for class?
<todd> ECONOMICS
<todd> Unit Price: $214.30
<todd> because that is some shit right there
<compguy> the economics lesson has started already, I see |
#163702 (503/603) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dexi> is it bad that I kinda maybe sorta have a little crush on this cute adorable funny goth chick with upwards of 37 piercings?
<Tiel> ...
<Dexi> a new one every week
<Tiel> and what attracts you to her?
<Tiel> did you swallow a magnet? |
#265195 (156/192) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gayo> google added gif emoticons to gmail.
<mathrick> they did?
<mathrick> FUCKERS
<Gayo> "If you're tired of not being able to find the right words to express yourself in your messages, emoticons are here to help."
<Gayo> Oh Christine, I love you so much more than my crass tongue can ever express! Let me show you how I feel with this smiley face in a party hat. |
#295402 (297/385) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck |
#154728 (257/333) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fox> I did a job in a house completely totaled by katrina today
<Fox> everything was ruined, destroyed, broken, except one thing
<Fox> a goku figurine |
#296044 (378/504) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you-- wait, fuck. |
#292278 (343/457) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Royall> Being famous means your name isn't underlined in red when you type it in Microsoft Word |
#222363 (201/267) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(JadeFrog) chainmail thongs don't look very comfy
(Scrubber) you say that now, but you won't mind when it saves your asscrack from a morning star
(JadeFrog) fair enough |
#182384 (185/245) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zepheric> wow... was playing Tf2 and a guy joined named Barack Obama, then he started telling people why they should vote for him
<Zepheric> so we vote kicked him |
#193949 (221/295) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zachary> someone gave me an engraved rock for my birthday with ZACHERY on it
<Zachary> I mean first off you just gave me a fucking rock for my birthday
<Zachary> and then my name is on it and it's misspelled
<Zachary> of course maybe that was just the name of the rock |
#194985 (164/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MetallicFurby> don't worry mate, there's always other fish in the sea
<Stueh> Yeah, but you're not in the sea
<Stueh> You're in the middle of the fucking desert
<Stueh> Alone.
<MetallicFurby> Dude, wtf? |
#146901 (163/219) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hogie> I was locked out of our server rooms the other night
<Hogie> because my finger got cut
<Hogie> and I couldn't pass biometrics |
#297972 (196/266) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crimson_Dynamo> If I were stranded on a desert isle, I think I would make a girl out of coconuts, but she'd probably just want to be friends |
#283996 (159/215) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Krechet> don't set your alarm clock tonight
<Krechet> let god decide whether you go to school tommorow or not |
#295265 (157/213) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gwinbee> keyboards should have etch-a-sketch knobs built-in to them
<workthrick> what'd that do?
<Ycros> workthrick: I don't think gwinbee thought that far ahead |
#283998 (165/231) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
work : I've been playing linegae2 for 5 years
3610 : I've been working for 5 years, I have a house and two cars |
#182936 (184/260) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Grath> Hey, everyone
<Grath> You just lose the gmae
<Grath> *lost
<Grath> *game
<Retro> you just failed the internet, though |
#178044 (115/161) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@tesko> the bartendress at the strip club i went to said the champaign room cost $100 for 15 minutes
<@tesko> i immediately said "i can't last 15 minutes" |
#153558 (108/152) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<evad> I just picked up "Learning Python" from our bookshelf.
<Skimble_Work> That would be cool. A snake that you wrap around you, and it imparts knowledge.
<ka> and then crushes you to death
<evad> sounds like Python to me |
#234700 (135/193) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<#xXRederickXx#> I love having all my neighbors on wireless Internet.
<#xXRederickXx#> this way when I'm downloadin pron all I need to do is switch to the McNallys network and I
<#xXRederickXx#> 1.) get pron from a faster uncorrupted source,
<#XxRederickXx#> 2.) get the satisfaction of having their asshole son sent off to military school for having impure thoughts. |
#103393 (151/217) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^Migs^> Is there a way I can use Javascript so that when a user clicks a button, it opens and closes their CD drive, makes their computer beep several times, and gives them a BSOD?
<bkruse> ^Migs^: tell them to use IE
<bkruse> then just write code as normal. |
#103345 (130/188) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
xyzzy: do you want a violin that we can't play for shit?
xyzzy: i'll sell it $40
Bahamut: i have one
xyzzy: do you want some firewood?
xyzzy: $35 |
#295261 (124/180) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<numaris> you pidantic bitch santa
<SantaBJ> pedantic. |
#180558 (156/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RancorClaw> I like that hentai you recommended yesterday. I like how all the girls are sexually liberated, and can enjoy their sex lives
<RancorClaw> As opposed to the "typical" girl who's ashamed of her sexuality, and afraid to use it
<RancorClaw> And the contrast of the only boy being quite submissive towards all of the dominating women, is interesting as well
<keikii> why are you analyzing a hentai?
<RancorClaw> Because I'm stupid |
#298636 (132/202) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gilded> Info: I am now "the Insane" in WoW and have thus won in life
<Gilded> That is all
<insane_alien> winning in life and playing WoW are mutually exclusive |
#103018 (109/169) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kojispruke> Wow, people really hate Flavor Flav. D:
<StairMasterNem> flavor flav?
<Kojispruke> Well, there's this website or whatever where you enter to be on his show and people vote for you and stuff
<Kojispruke> Mudkip and goatse are winning so far
<StairMasterNem> .... |
#223711 (202/320) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Taran_Wanderer> You can look up what they're going to name hurricanes
<YP> I wish they'd bring hurricane mewtwo back :[
<The_984> Hurricanes should be named after Pokemon
<DonutKnight> In other news, Hurricane Magikarp has decimated New Orleans
<DonutKnight> More at 11
<The_984> Magikarp used SPLASH
<The_984> It was super effective |
#142279 (96/160) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<evilways> shit
<evilways> i was just opening a package of bottled water... sawing it open with a knife
<evilways> i got distracted and wasn't paying attention to what i was cutting
<evilways> what the fuck am i going to do with six bottles of water with the tops cut off |
#152657 (99/167) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mfg2> rob's no fucking coder
<mfg2> i've seen his keyboard as there's not a speck of dirt on his [ ] keys |
#112746 (132/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stirk> The fuck is wrong with fox news
<Spitfire3292> everything
<Stirk> No, the WILDfires are not caused by al queda
<Stirk> Damn idiots |
#102531 (84/148) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cpux> I just had an epiphany.
<crux> My job as a computer engineer isn't to understand all the inner-workings of technology. Rather, it's to befriend many people who understand all the inner-workings of technology. |
#117758 (97/173) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[09:45] Yobam: BORED
[09:45] spyderkinnny: Boredom is for caged animals.
[09:46] spyderkinnny: You are a member of the most intelligent species currently existing on planet earth. For fuck's sake, find a way to amuse yourself.
[09:48] Yobam: youtubing it up |
#298760 (103/183) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jason Iscariot> To me, every commercial just advertises TiVo. |
#198888 (91/163) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<crab> yeah but come on, they're woodchuck accountants
<Nick> They can give a very good estimate on how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
<Nick> Whether a woodchuck should chuck wood is up to human resources. |
#255470 (125/227) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+ShinSR71) if i commit suicide i would probably dress up as someone from Naruto to get the show banned |
#102125 (87/161) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ylle> I need a good Ps2 game
<Deathwind> ummmmmmmmm
<lifning> disgaea
<Ylle> that's been released recently
<Ylle> that's not a grindfest
<Ylle> and has good 2p fun
<Ylle> ooooh and no fighting games¨
<lifning> this is the part where you get a different console |
#297968 (82/152) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[carbine] Uh oh. Foxconn employee killed himself after losing an iPhone prototype
[errata4q] wtf?
[errata4q] is that the macworld article?
[wliao] it's on wired as well
[carbine] You know what this means?
[carbine] NEW IPHONE ON THE WAY!
[carbine] Woo! |
#297876 (133/253) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Sebas> The only reason the French started a civil war was so that they could win for once |
#295544 (88/166) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Raisin> One of my friends was supposed to be getting back in shape starting today- no drinking, no smoking, and lots of exercise
<Raisin> He came over at 5 pm, already drunk, to tell me our gym date was off, then bummed a cigComment: #offtopic
|
#267642 (73/137) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rowan> [link to image of girl]
<Rowan> that be her
<art0rz> i would hit it
<Rowan> you'd hit anything that moves
<Rowan> or probably preferably, can't move |
#102068 (85/165) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Geist: I installed a personal wiki yesterday.
Geist: And man...
Geist: Vandalism just isn't the same. |
#204687 (77/149) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<VirtualHost> I fucking hate when homeless people stand around where cars are lined up, like left turn lanes and drive throughs
<Nurple> homeless people hate it when you stand around in your home |
#102826 (79/155) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nuuka> Im going to be pissed off if I cant use the internet during the hurricane
<Benny2k> Why? want to be able to write brb hurricane? :P |
#264828 (72/142) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HalfNote5> You guys do realize that if McCain wins, watching him try to lead the country is going to be an equivalent exercise in frustration to watching your great-grandfather trying to set the VCR clock. |
#143443 (69/139) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<purpleposeidon> I absolutly can't wait for next decade's computers... they'll be so fscking awesome they won't even know what fsck is
<purpleposeidon> with like 80 tb hard drives, which would at that point would be the same as RAM, and 128bit 16 core processors
<nightwing> All just to run the 2015-version of Windows and MS Office ;-) |
#298061 (78/160) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* em-pregnated is now known as emily`
< postscript> woha
< postscript> aborted? |
#203730 (82/174) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jasabella> $_ =~ tr/y/j/;
* parser (~HELL@91.186.243.253) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* Kraln (~quassel@38.100.42.251) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* laamaelai (hegis@xen.ihme.org) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
* Yuyo (~suck@205.211.195.24) Quit (ircd.arcti.ca efnet.teleglobe.net)
<jasabella> did i do that?
<einride> no
* einride (~erin@83.233.196.14) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<jasabella> wrong answer bitch |
#103645 (75/159) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<magnum12> I do have a hypothesis as to the origins of the werewolf myth. Its an interesting theory.
<magnum12> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of rabies.
<TheCowch> I believe that is based on superstitious exaggerations of furries. |
#294742 (75/159) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
{GiGi}: Ffs Pony, you're so back in the closet, you can see Narnia |
#214191 (78/166) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gnome> Yo momma so fat, Atlas got confused, dropped the earth, and picked her up |
#298766 (71/157) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< amee2k> fow: provided i had enough to drink, i'll satisfy your every desire :)
< fow> :o
< fow> amee2k, including the one where Left4Dead works on my laptop through Wine? |
#214202 (63/145) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lightning> my mom and dad put a pw on all my games and stuff except for irc
<Shrink> You could always try and brute force it
<Lightning> i'm not gonna hit a couple of elderly people!! |
#290462 (59/141) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<anon9k3> i need to remmenber to buy a card tomorrow :/
<anon9k3> but I'm not sure what kind to get
<Allah> a condolence card
<anon9k3> ass
<anon9k3> birthday
<anon9k3> I mean, I'm not sure what kind of birthday card to get for the person
<Allah> male or female?
<anon9k3> female
<Allah> then defiantly a condolence card, females hate getting older |
#133746 (50/118) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mr_flea> you know you're too used to working in a shell when you try to tab-complete your password.Comment: #decorum on freenode
|
#103671 (80/198) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
WeenieBeenie419: tell me a joke
NeverWakeUp1229: Okay
NeverWakeUp1229: Kate, Dana and I are drunk at a bar. Who drives home and why?
WeenieBeenie419: umm... i dunno?
NeverWakeUp1229: I do, because women can't drive!
WeenieBeenie419: you prick
NeverWakeUp1229: Wait, this isn't Matt is it?
WeenieBeenie419: no, im his gf
NeverWakeUp1229: Oh good, I thought it was his mom
NeverWakeUp1229: bitch. |
#298767 (48/120) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aaron> you know, they once asked Snoop Dogg why he always walked around with an umbrella and he replied "fo drizzle"
<robink> aaron: Interesting.
<aaron> you don't get it, do you?
<pthree> no we all got it
<robink> aaron: It's a play on 'fo shizzle', meaning for sure. Instead, he said 'fo drizzle', meaning 'because of the rain'.
<pthree> but we'd prefer if you dropped us off for school a block away |
#101859 (55/143) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[@TheWickerMan] Sometimes when I'm sad I echo happy phrases to myself like /echo you're a winner !!!
[@ias] that's sad
you're a winner !!! |
#298655 (40/102) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<t-rex> how does an efnet user change a lightbulb?
<Samael> they dont
<Samael> lightbulbs are too modern
<Samael> like servicesComment: #/x/ irc.netchan.org
|
#285772 (36/92) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Betty!: he's engaged?!?!?
Erik: haha i dont know how serious that is
Erik: its facebook, not real life
Erik: i mean if that was true then i'd suddenly have a lot more lesbian friends |
#135876 (48/128) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<boris81> im so fucking unlucky when it comes to sex
<boris81> sometimes I think that if I fell into a barrel full of the corrs i'd come up with the guitarist sucking my dick |
#140513 (58/164) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+INOSHU> Hey, did you know they discovered the exact reason you can't suck your own cock?
<~TheDarkestDay> something about flexibility, no doubt
<+INOSHU> Nah, it's cause you don't have one. |
#270018 (44/124) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Steve_Restless> "Yer drive is dead. send it to HP"
<Raiden> Better is 'Your drive is dead. It dropped below zero HP'Comment: #Chaos_GardenRPG, espernet
|
#101852 (41/115) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> i had all kinds of disaster dreams
<@DigDug> including one where some troll came in and changed the topicComment: #geekissues -> EFNet
|
#102902 (44/136) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Aneyva) my computer is spazzing... brb gotta reboot
—› quit: (Aneyva)
• +missey wonders what spazzing computer looks like
(%Cory) it screams at you asking for swiss chocolate and makes you drive to somewhere a few towns over to get it and bitches at you when you get back
(%Cory) oh wait that's pregnant |
#102644 (47/145) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Steven> working on a CrissCross bug
<Steven> and I had no ability to scroll up for some reason, so I was going to use 'less' to read it. I usually pipe the results into a file first, so I did
<Steven> make check > poop
<Steven> using poop as a temp name
<Steven> the funniest part was using the command
<Steven> 'cat poop'
<Miah> D:
* Miah scoops it up
<Miah> I had JUST cleaned this fucking harddrive |
#295258 (40/128) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
ressedue: my boss told me yesterday... "I can't believe you told lashunda to not smile because it would mess the white balance up" ;D |
#298741 (18/90) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Damian likes girls that drink beer and code and are really guys |
#280685 (18/100) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<purriah> She knows you're wanking.
<Foxhill[away]> of course she does, she still washes the sheets
<Foxhill[away]> i remember her saying that to me one day when picking me up from school
<Foxhill[away]> 'you're a dirty lil boy'
<Foxhill[away]> 'huh? what?'
<Foxhill[away]> 'i wash your sheets remember'
<Foxhill[away]> 'err'
<Foxhill[away]> 'no more watching the german channel' |
#298640 (17/109) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SHIMADA> i'm seriously gonna quit coding
<SHIMADA> i watched that notorious flick and biggy asked his mom "how much does a garbage collector make?"
<SHIMADA> so i was like how does this fat moron know about software that wasn't even invented yet back then 0_o |
#156793 (12/126) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BootheaD> welcome to the hotel rosssssssssssthefox
<BootheaD> such a furry place
<BootheaD> such a furry taste
<hatebreed> he must make haste!
<hatebreed> lest his semen goto waste :(
<Fewlio^> as it all turns to paste
<BootheaD> upon this turkey he shall baste
<rossthefox> wtf
<rossthefox> you sick mother fuckers |
#117356 (10/100) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GregG> I also paid for mIRC, 'cus it's the best IRC app out there, no matter how many others I try. It was time to cough it up to the guy.
<irq_> wow, paying for irc
<irq_> worse than paying for sex |
#294482 (10/124) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< User_4574> rm -rf /usr/slugonamission
< User_4574> apparently you dont exist...
< slugonamission> sudo rm -rf /dev/shittyUser
< slugonamission> touch /dev/yourMum
< slugonamission> cp /dev/yourMum /mnt/myPenis
< x5315> chmod a+rwx /dev/yourMum
< slugonamission> Hang on, retract my last statement
< slugonamission> mount /dev/yourMum -t fuck hard /mnt/myPenis
< slugonamission> Yeah bitch :P
< x5315> slugonamission: you're a fucking nerd |
#298704 (8/160) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs |
#296310 (6/86) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
! v3ritas np: [ T-Rock, Three 6 Mafia - Slang & Serve ]
(v3ritas) hey guys
(v3ritas) i want you to know what song i'm playing
(v3ritas) you probably won't notice, nor care about it, but there it is
(v3ritas) but if you particularly appreciate a strict adherence to a set spoken meter, this song is a fine example |
#102842 (5/109) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Biomech> op3r, redpriest owns textfiles.com?
<@ProtocoLD> does it matter ?
<@Biomech> yes
<@jonl> why?
<@Biomech> it's like when Nikon finds out Crash Override was Zero Cool |
#103633 (4/142) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Bahamut: so my dog is annoying my dad
Bahamut: and he just threatened to grill him
Bahamut: and my dog ran awayComment: my family is viet
|
#297590 (3/127) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@tom> Flava Flav, a reality television star, stopped by to see Michael Jackson's family at their compound in Encino about 4 p.m. today but left shortly afterward.
<@markbach> they needed him to determine the time of death |
#251372 (0/148) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Leslie_S> i dont want my vagina to look like it came off some asian
womanComment: ah, the joys of a transgender support chatroom
|
#244077 (0/116) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zero_0> I need some help with something
<Zero_0> How do I aquire a password hash from a user profile from a internet form?
<pooktopus> Easy, Zero_0. You use wget to download the profile, store the page as a string, then sha1($page) it.
<pooktopus> Or MD5() if you're peculiar.
<Zero_0> I can do md5
<Zero_0> thanx |
#286582 (-3/123) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
HalfCab: yea. im just printing out project xl
noxonwall: i'm burning it now
HalfCab: burnin wat?
noxonwall: ...the project for excel.
HalfCabx: why?
noxonwall: what do you mean why?
HalfCab: ur burning the movie u made for excel?
noxonwall: yeah?
noxonwall: doesnt that make sense?
HalfCab: why would u put ur project on fire? |
#298714 (-3/117) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Doorslammer> My idea of fun is prank calling the nearest IT company
<Doorslammer> And asking if an I.P. Config is there |
#245624 (-2/102) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<triented> If Sarah Palin tried to make a song, it would fail.
<triented> Because, the bridge would go nowhere... |
#294989 (-7/107) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Joune> when I was like 5 I used to play with boats
<Joune> I always sank em
<Joune> MUAHAHA
<Joune> they'd alwyas sink like titanic
<Joune> hehehe
<Joune> and the men would all die
<Heft> and the women would all sing celine dion? |
#295254 (-7/101) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MadrMan> i should really move my subwoofer
<MadrMan> to somewhere less hearable
<MadrMan> because i cant turn my volume up properly without the subwoofer making me deaf
<&geecee3> bass is what they call onmipresent sound, it lacks direction, seems to come from everywhere, so put the sub wherever, it'll still sound good.
<EddieWork> shove it up your ass |
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