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#139309
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3905
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<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs
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#138027
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488
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Ganon: That magnet in the finger idea sounded really awesome, minus the idea of getting some sort of poisoning from the rare-earth metals
Gayo: oh oh dude
Gayo: What if you were a woman and you had MAGNETIC BREAST IMPLANTS.
Katt: I guess that would make you really attractive
Ganon: ...
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#108878
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406
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NeverWakeUp1229: So I had a major conflict between my ego and my cock today
MotherBound0: don’t the two go hand in hand?
MotherBound0: or dick in hand?
NeverWakeUp1229: Whatever
NeverWakeUp1229: So I was turning in my essay at the same time as some hot chick in my history class
NeverWakeUp1229: We both go for the stapler, and naturally I snag it first
NeverWakeUp1229: So my cock goes, “Be a gentleman and offer her the stapler! It’s one less step for you to go to get in her pants.”
NeverWakeUp1229: And my ego says, “No, don’t be a pussy. You don’t owe her shit.”
MotherBound0: so what happened?
NeverWakeUp1229: I offered her the stapler and she told me to go ahead and use it first
NeverWakeUp1229: Best of both worlds
MotherBound0: you possess the most fucked up sense of logic ever
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#139339
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476
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<Iced_Plasma> I was at work at the retirement community
<Iced_Plasma> and some old guy is talking to me about religion
<Iced_Plasma> and he looks aty me and says
<Iced_Plasma> "When do you think Jesus will come?"
<Iced_Plasma> and I said
<Iced_Plasma> "When he climaxes"
<Iced_Plasma> and he just stared at me in shock and rage
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#138821
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323
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<Jacois> I remember before the internet when I used to get turned on by a cleavage. Now it takes 2 girls and a cup.
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#137951
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266
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shawnz> somebody's signature on xkcd forums is "warning: unpleasant spoiler." followed by a spoiler tag
shawnz> so i hit show
shawnz> Spoiler:
shawnz> You just lost the game.
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#137549
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121
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Celeste: so um yah
Celeste: you dont have to send me anything
Moozh: got it to work?
Celeste: psh no
Celeste: i did the opposite
Moozh: work to it got?
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#138502
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2
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<redribben> what you guys up to?
<redribben> i myself am trying to find something that seems to not exist....
<reikon> god?
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14,883 quotes approved; 8,692
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; karma: 189.4805