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#68976 (1193/1311) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<iV> close call tonight
<iV> on my way home from work, and this guy comes out of this alley in front of me, then runs towards me and shoves me down on the ground
<iV> he has a pistol in his hand and says "why'd you do it? tell me why i shouldn't fucking kill you right now!"
<iV> then he stops, looks at me and starts laughing...
<iV> he helps me up and he's like "haha sorry man i thought you were this other dude...whew glad i noticed the difference."
<iV> and he goes back into the alley
<iV> seriously..wtf |
#68742 (427/561) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kaiser> how much weight can a donkey handle?
<Tsuta> kaiser: depends on the donkey
<kaiser> the standard donkey
<Tsuta> I bet anywhere from 10 to 250 lbs
<Tsuta> whytf do you need to know, anyways, kaiser?
<kaiser> i wanna know how much an assload is |
#69176 (431/571) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CinamonGirl> Fuck my ass hurts
<CinamonGirl> Err, there should be a comma in there. O.o
*** arsebandit perks up
*** arsebandit is now known as hurts |
#69178 (259/389) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GreyKnight> Hey, I just won the lottery in *Spain* this time!!
<GreyKnight> and they're e-mailing me from an Italian address...
<GreyKnight> and targeting an Irishman who they think is American
<GreyKnight> It's a proper international scam |
#69122 (257/405) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< |xanth|> I'm just that random guy who hangs around to make you feel better about yourself
< |xanth|> you know, the ugly fat friend people have
< |xanth|> except i'm not fat or ugly, I just have 56kComment: #apathbeyond
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#68954 (252/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MrZodiac> oh man
<MrZodiac> this is so awkward
<MrZodiac> This girl who I boink now and again is in an open relationship with a dude I knew in college
<MrZodiac> This past weekend she and I made merry, and I threw ropey jets of jism all over her and some of the furnature we were making merry on
<MrZodiac> And I used a towel to clean her and the furnature off
<MrZodiac> So the guy sends me a myspace IM today asking me which towel I used
<MrZodiac> ugh
<MrZodiac> I feel weirdComment: #bifemunix on EFnet
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#69154 (283/509) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Apofisu> Allow me to sing 100 bottles of beer on the wall
<Apofisu> *ahem*
<Apofisu> x = 100;
<Apofisu> while(x > 0) {
<Apofisu> printf("%d bottles of beer on the wall. \n %d bottles of beer. \n Take one down, pass it around. \n %d bottles of beer on the wall.", x, x, x-1);
<Apofisu> x--;
<Apofisu> }
* Apofisu bows |
#69190 (201/371) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Biomech> I was at the opticians today, and the only way I could think of to describe a pair of frames to my girlfriend was "border-bottom: 0px" |
#68734 (173/331) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Stux> my girlfriend sent me a video
<Stux> it was of me
<Stux> wearing her skirt, top and a bra with padding
<Stux> and...until it panned up, i looked like a girl :(
<Rjx> email it ;x
<Stux> wap doesnt work
<Rjx> you know what else doesn't work?
<Rjx> your masculinity |
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